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AIBU?

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Original poster

Just been kicked out of a group for objecting to being referred to as my reproductive organs

502 replies

Gerlais · 30/11/2021 15:59

Group on Facebook. I was referred to as a “uterus owner”. I objected to this. I’m now banned from the group for being transphobic. Everyone piled on me and if I wasn’t kicked out I would have been leaving anyway. I don’t care what other people want to be called but I will not be referred to as my reproductive organs!! It’s not transphobic to want to be referred to as a woman if you were in fact born female and wish to remain a woman? surely?? Or AIBU?

OP posts:
DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 30/11/2021 17:20

So, just so I'm clear...

A biological woman cannot be called a woman
A biological man can be called a woman

What a brave new world

heathspeedwell · 30/11/2021 17:20

The vast majority of transwomen retain their penis - so surely they should be called penis-owners too if we're going to be called uterus-owners?

Or is it only the feelings of the penis-owners that count and women should all just shut up and meekly accept being reduced to our organs?

Bluntness100 · 30/11/2021 17:20

There are sections for this op, you don’t need to post on aibu so people who don’t want to read it can see it. Keep it in th echo chamber.

Whatwouldscullydo · 30/11/2021 17:22

Why? Don't all women whether they have feminist beliefs or not deserve to know that in order ti be welcome in any support group they must reduce themselves to body functions ?

sunshinesupermum · 30/11/2021 17:22

Must remember to call my 6 and 9 year-old grandsons penis owners when I see them at the weekend. WTAF????

GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 30/11/2021 17:23

@DaphneDeloresMoorhead

So, just so I'm clear...

A biological woman cannot be called a woman
A biological man can be called a woman

What a brave new world

Yep, and like the WORLD, it always favours MEN and pisses all over women.
GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 30/11/2021 17:23

@sunshinesupermum

Must remember to call my 6 and 9 year-old grandsons penis owners when I see them at the weekend. WTAF????
Mad innit?
ButtonSister · 30/11/2021 17:24

@Bluntness100

There are sections for this op, you don’t need to post on aibu so people who don’t want to read it can see it. Keep it in th echo chamber.
A quick read through of all the AIBU titles suggests most could go in other MN groups, and the OP was asking if she was BU in objecting to a certain adjective, so does fit into AIBU anyway. Are you the self-identifying thread police?
ArabellaScott · 30/11/2021 17:25

I really don't understand why, when almost all women actively hate being called things like this, and ask not to be that 1.this weird language mangling is even happening at all and 2. nobody understands the oxymoronic nature of claiming that it's 'inclusive'

sunshinesupermum · 30/11/2021 17:25

It's no longer a joke GetTheFlockOutOfHere when will sanity return?

Appledrop · 30/11/2021 17:25

@Wobblyhousehunt

Admiral Caine …. Obviously men and women can be survivors of invest and rape. Should transwomen have to go to groups for male victims of incest and rape? I also believe that trans women have the highest rate of sexual assault/ violence against them out of any group.

I sometimes think people post things like this so they can have a moan, making regular people think trans women are monsters. Is this the whole story OP or are you gasslighting?

I urge every kind woman in the fence about this stuff to know that transwomen just want to be safe. They don’t want to refer to you by your body parts or any such nonsense. They have difficult hard lives please be kind. And always remember it could be your son/ daughter/ brother/ niece/ dad who comes out as trans next.

@Wobblyhousehunt You state that you believe trans women have the highest rate of sexual assault/violence against them out of any group?? Please state where you are getting your facts from as I think you will find you are wrong and that women are the group most at risk.
ABCeasyasdohrayme · 30/11/2021 17:25

@DaphneDeloresMoorhead

So, just so I'm clear...

A biological woman cannot be called a woman
A biological man can be called a woman

What a brave new world

No - a biological woman can obviously be called a woman, but not all biological women identify as such.

A biological man can be called a man, but not all biological men identify as such.

ArabellaScott · 30/11/2021 17:25

@Bluntness100

There are sections for this op, you don’t need to post on aibu so people who don’t want to read it can see it. Keep it in th echo chamber.
Or there is the option of scrolling on by, ignoring it, or even 'hide thread', if it upsets you.
ColdShouldersWarmTummy · 30/11/2021 17:26

What was the context? I'm in some groups which would object to, say, a post addressed to "breastfeeding mums" only, but would be fine with "breastfeeding mums/chestfeeding parents" which I don't think is a huge deal tbh. Disallowing woman/mum completely is another level though Shock.

sunshinesupermum · 30/11/2021 17:26

Are you the self-identifying thread police? LOL

MoodyMooToo · 30/11/2021 17:27

Wow, I’d be outraged too at that. Make another fb profile and join the group again Grin

Cattenberg · 30/11/2021 17:28

@TonyThreePies

Language matters and there seems to be a bigger picture of watering down female terms. For example a colleague saying "when we are pregnant". Also a general "she" to describe inanimate objects. On Bake Off Crystelle said "she's beautiful" about a cake. It seems inncocuous on the surface, it's just a term, what does it matter? But once you start diluting it a bit here and a bit there then suddenly it doesn't seem such a reach to be called "cervix haver".
Language matters a great deal to trans people. In fact deliberately referring to a trans person by the wrong name or pronouns can be seen as literal violence.

However, renaming women (and using different terms for them depending on the context) is merely “inclusive language” which doesn’t affect uterus-havers or people with vaginas at all. Why are they being so petty?

ButtonSister · 30/11/2021 17:29

@ColdShouldersWarmTummy

What was the context? I'm in some groups which would object to, say, a post addressed to "breastfeeding mums" only, but would be fine with "breastfeeding mums/chestfeeding parents" which I don't think is a huge deal tbh. Disallowing woman/mum completely is another level though Shock.
But you NEED breasts to breast feed, you cannot breast feed without them because they contain the mammary glands that produce the milk. Chests don't have breasts or mammary glands so referring to chest feeding is a falsehood.
30whatacrock · 30/11/2021 17:29

ffs I’m wondering where this will all end. I don’t blame you for being annoyed. More female rights being eroded. It’s actually very worrying.

comingintomyown · 30/11/2021 17:29

What I find sad is this and all the other sorts of OTT stuff mentioned on this thread detracts sympathy from trans people who just want to live as they wish because everything they have to go through, even in this so called enlightened era, is already so so much and I doubt they would approve of your Facebook group at all

GrouchyKiwi · 30/11/2021 17:30

@Punfreeusername

I've voted YABU because I don't think this happened.

Happy to be corrected and apologise if a link to the group and comment are provided.

This sort of thing happening is all too believable these days, or did you miss the Lancet referring to women as "bodies with vaginas" on its front page?
LuaDipa · 30/11/2021 17:30

@cabingirl

I know it might not be the most popular opinion here but my view is that the way forward to be more inclusive is the BE more inclusive. So that we can increase the terms used for people based on their preferences rather than try to reduced everyone to one term which pleases no one.

For example in pregnancy related literature I don't see why we can't talk about 'women and other birthing people' - to include the non-binery and transmen who can and do get pregnant.

I think this would be a fair and sensible approach.
lifeturnsonadime · 30/11/2021 17:31

No - a biological woman can obviously be called a woman

The problem is that this just isn't true. Under trans ideology we are cis women and trans women are women.

The word women/ woman is being removed in favour of body parts in reference to health even by publications such as the Lancet who called women 'bodies with vaginas'.

Artichokeleaves · 30/11/2021 17:32

I urge every kind woman in the fence about this stuff to know that transwomen just want to be safe.

'kind women' will no doubt be kind to everyone, including people born female, who need spaces, rights, their own choice of words and resources too .

These things can exist perfectly happily alongside trans people's provisions and choices and language and resources; a bit of tolerance and kindness in both directions instead of ceaselessly demanding non reciprocal doormatting from females would sort almost all of this out.

Isthatthebestyoucando · 30/11/2021 17:35

@ABCeasyasdohrayme

If that's the language they choose to use in their group then that's fine, you don't have to like it, but you should respect their rules.

Find, or start, a group who has the same viewpoint as you.

If only it were that easy. Her group would be shut down smartish as a hate group.