Has my date stolen my keys??

[Wilhelmine]

I’ve just come home with a guy I’ve been for a few dates with after a couple of drinks and we’ve had a coffee and he’s gone home. We’ve been getting on great and knew each other before as acquaintances. He’s a bit intense but nothing scary until tonight when he said “I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out”. Now I’ve just got ready for bed and can’t find my keys anywhere. I’m well organised and tidy and always know where things are. I’ve messaged him to ask if he picked them up by mistake but no reply. Am I being daft to think he might have taken them? If I can’t find them in the morning I’ll have to get the locks changed and I really don’t want to have to do that.....

Very Joe Goldberg 😳 was only watching You earlier! I feel really sick, so many red flags from the beginning and now this. Hope work will understand when I tell them why I need my locks changed. Won’t be going anywhere until I do.

You could be paranoid or you could be absolutely right. Once my backdoor swung open in a breeze and when I eventually went out to close it I couldn't find the keys. A friend and I searched every bit of ground that it could have fallen on.

I called an emergency locksmith that night as my husband was away with work - he often took long sea trips. A couple of days later my teenage next door neighbour popped by with the keys and some unlikely story of finding them on the path up to our house. It was quite obvious he expected me to be very grateful and seemed to be expecting a cougar moment or two. Never having been attracted to pimply faced adolescent boys, I thanked him, mentioned I'd already had the locks changed and sent him packing.

Had he had them copied? Did he know my husband was away? Who knows but why take the chance?

I agree with trusting your gut. Apart from the front door key, what else was on your key ring?

@Wilhelmine

Very Joe Goldberg 😳 was only watching You earlier! I feel really sick, so many red flags from the beginning and now this. Hope work will understand when I tell them why I need my locks changed. Won’t be going anywhere until I do.

Make sure the door is blocked somehow!

[quote Almostmenopausal]@JesusIsAnyNameFree With respect, so did a lot of the most heinous crimes to ever be committed - but they were still committed regardless. [/quote]
Eh?

I’ve got a Chubb as well as a Yale on the front door. Do I need to get the Chubb changed too do you think?

Let a friend know your concerns and keep in touch with them until you have your keys found or locks changed.

Change your locks. Even if he has them he could still of copied one.

Trust your instincts.

Yes have told a friend.

Definitely get all the locks changed, I’d also slowly faze it out with this guy as he sounds wayyyyyyyy too much!

@Wilhelmine

Yes have told a friend.

Still no response from him? If not then yeah, sounds like he's taken them. Are your car keys on the same bunch?

No the car keys are separate thank fuck! No he hasn’t replied and that makes me even madder.

Not much point telling a friend. That's not going to stop somebody unlocking your door and entering one dark night. I suppose the friend could tell the police after the event if you weren't able to...

@Wilhelmine

No the car keys are separate thank fuck! No he hasn’t replied and that makes me even madder.

Did you check your bag? Or pockets of what you had on you when you came in? I know I regularly put my keys back in those places and don't realise until I have to go looking for them! Sorry if this has been asked previously!

I think I’d call the police anyway… He may have form for this.

I hope they turn up somewhere unexpected.

It’s quite normal for me to misplace keys, so I can’t easily put myself in your position. But if you are good like that, well coupled with the scary comment about things not working out, I think you are right to be concerned.

I don’t see the point in asking him about it again, in fact I would be concerned that you might alert him to the fact that you are onto him. Stay at home today, change locks, end it with him.

@MaryStuart

Check weird places like the fridge / freezer, if you made drinks. Tea / coffee cupboard. Bathroom cupboard. In your shoes. Retrace all your steps since getting in. And pray to St Anthony - patron saint of lost things! Good luck.

St Anthony is my friend and I'm not that religious. I pray to him embarrassingly often. He never lets me down. Mad isn't it. 😬

If he was raising red flags before tonight why did you invite him into your home?! Perhaps just a wrong decision in hindsight. I'm assuming you don't have a spare set of keys then...when you change the locks maybe you need to ensure you have 2 sets!

@Wilhelmine

Did you find them?

With Yale locks there is a central core which is simple to change and inexpensive. I do it for rental properties. Even cheaper you can swap cores with a friend or family member if you have another key.

Should I change the Chubb too @Esspee?

I would change both the locks OP.

The fact he hasn't replied is not good. He knows you may be panicking, yet chooses to ignore you.

It would take a simple no if he didn't have them.

OP, change every lock that had a key on your keyring, irrespective of what type.

I can’t sleep (obvs) and am just waiting for the morning to come so I can call a locksmith. It scares me that I could have continued to see someone whose behaviour was so off. And why didn’t he answer his phone earlier when I called to find out if he had my keys? He would have noticed a missed call too. Feeling very vulnerable right now.