Has my date stolen my keys??

[Wilhelmine]

I’ve just come home with a guy I’ve been for a few dates with after a couple of drinks and we’ve had a coffee and he’s gone home. We’ve been getting on great and knew each other before as acquaintances. He’s a bit intense but nothing scary until tonight when he said “I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out”. Now I’ve just got ready for bed and can’t find my keys anywhere. I’m well organised and tidy and always know where things are. I’ve messaged him to ask if he picked them up by mistake but no reply. Am I being daft to think he might have taken them? If I can’t find them in the morning I’ll have to get the locks changed and I really don’t want to have to do that.....

[Notthisnotthat]

I would change all locks as soon as possible too.

Did he ever reply?

[Notthisnotthat]

Sorry crossed post.

[Palosverdesblue]

Poor you OP, I read your thread a few mins ago, horrible feeling. I’d change every lock on your keys too .

[Aphrodite31]

@Wilhelmine

I can’t sleep (obvs) and am just waiting for the morning to come so I can call a locksmith. It scares me that I could have continued to see someone whose behaviour was so off. And why didn’t he answer his phone earlier when I called to find out if he had my keys? He would have noticed a missed call too. Feeling very vulnerable right now.

What other things have been red flags with him? How was it when he left tonight? Was he at your house or were you out together?

It does seem strange he hasn't texted back or called back. I would be tempted not to try him in the morning - just wait and see what he comes back with.

You should get locks changed first thing and also get a video ring bell. In fact, as you can't sleep, you could get an emergency locksmith out. There are a few sites - eg:

https://nearest-locksmith24.co.uk/Near+Me?utmsource=google&utmmmedium=cpc&utmcampaign=11801797911&utmmcontent=485013395037&utmterm=24%20hr%20locksmith&utmmposition=&gclid=Cj0KCQiA7oyNBhDiARIsADtGRZbb5zIhPEI00cLiuRVSAwBRernr6DFT3rrjakNvFesz-G2kUVzfkkaArMIEALw_wcB

[Aphrodite31]

As for tonight, I can't imagine he's thinking of coming round - if he did take them, it would be to copy and/or come round when you're out.

You may well have just mislaid them, but his silence seems a bit puzzling. Does he sometimes not respond during the night? Was your text delivered?

Either way, he's OTT and too keen.

[IAmTheLovechildOfYvesAndIsabel]

I actually think this is a gift of a situation really, OP.
You say that in hindsight there have been red flags that you were able to disregard but now you have had your instincts proved correct - before anything too bad happened; I know it's not fair that you now have to fork out for new locks and take the morning off but it's a small price to pay when you consider the alternative.
So, you'll have peace of mind with the new lock and key, ( always a good move when you live alone if you can afford it) you have made the best decision not to see this guy again and going forward you've learnt a valuable lesson on listening to your gut!
Hopefully you can get some sleep too! X

[Ubiquery]

You’re doing all the right things OP. I’m sorry you can’t sleep.

[CatDogAlpaca]

This does sound very odd.

[Wilhelmine]

Thank you @Aphrodite31. It was fine when he left, we’d been out for a couple of drinks and then coffee back at mine. The red flags? Buying me flowers, wine and a card when we hadn’t even been out on a proper date; then more flowers; offering to buy me a £500 piece of furniture in Loaf (we were in there as he was ordering some stuff); telling me tonight he didn’t know what he’d do if it didn’t work out between us (we’ve been seeing eachother for about a month). I’ve known him as a dog-walking acquaintance for ages and thought I could trust him and we know people in common. Does this seem off to you?

[Wilhelmine]

Oh thank you lovely MNers, I feel much better now and can see I’ve probably had a lucky escape.

[Joystir59]

I really hope your keys turn up but anyway, the most important thing is that you feel safe and comfortable..

[Justilou1]

Seriously - call the police. What if he IS known to them?

[Wilhelmine]

What do I do if he calls early to say he’s got them ( too early to find somewhere to get keys cut?). And offers to drop them off?

[BuddhaAtSea]

Just say yes, please do. Take them, change the lock anyway and never see him again.

[MintMatchmaker]

Change them anyway, you’ll feel better. You don’t have to pay for a locksmith. DIY shop then YouTube if needed. Chubb is the most important to change.

[Unsure1983]

Who do you know in common? Do you know them well?

[JumppyFrog]

You could ask him to post them through you're letterbox as you're out but stay in with the bolts on to make sure he doesn't go inside?

[SunLovingMummy]

Still no word? If he does say he accidentally picked them up, unless you e got them on a key chain you’d like back, tell him you’ve had the locks changed just to be safe so you don’t need them back. If you do want the key chain back, as previous poster suggested, ask her posts through letter box as you’ll be out but actually you’re in a boots locked.

[TheBlessedCheesemaker]

I’d say great, and have him drop them off first thing. Then change the locks anyway (without telling him).
TBH I’d probably dump him ‘carefully’ - pull back a little, introduce complications and then ask to revert to dog walking for a bit, and then have a final closure conversation. I think dumping and blocking might create loads of issues and have him turning up just pleading to know why, that kind of thing.

[Wilhelmine]

I have a couple of close friends who know him but not very well. They both like him and think he’s kind and considerate. I do/did too 🙁 we have covens tickets for Tuesday, guess I’ll have to find someone else to go with.

[Wilhelmine]

Good advice @TheBlessedCheesemaker. We live in a small town where everyone knows eachother, especially in the dog-walking community we both belong to.

[Palosverdesblue]

Take a bit of comfort from that tonight. As in he’s not a total stranger, but carry on with your plan for the locks and getting rid of him.

[Wilhelmine]

Where? They’re nowhere in the house which is very organised. The only thing that could have happened is that I dropped them outside after I opened the door and someone stole them.

[FeckTheMagicDragon]

@TarasCrazyTiara No need for such rudeness (and casual misogyny)

OP trust your instincts, they are there for a reason.