Has my date stolen my keys??

[Wilhelmine]

I’ve just come home with a guy I’ve been for a few dates with after a couple of drinks and we’ve had a coffee and he’s gone home. We’ve been getting on great and knew each other before as acquaintances. He’s a bit intense but nothing scary until tonight when he said “I don’t know what I’d do if this doesn’t work out”. Now I’ve just got ready for bed and can’t find my keys anywhere. I’m well organised and tidy and always know where things are. I’ve messaged him to ask if he picked them up by mistake but no reply. Am I being daft to think he might have taken them? If I can’t find them in the morning I’ll have to get the locks changed and I really don’t want to have to do that.....

@HappyGoLuckyLuLu

You could use Clare's Law to see if he's any prior history - or just dump him and move on safe with your newly changed locks & a potentially lucky escape

How do you do that and do you need any reason?

Do you know anything about his relationship history OP?

[quote SpeckledlyHen]@neveradullmoment99 - these days you don't even need to go to the hassle of reading the thread.. You can read the OP's responses only which should give you an indication of how the thread has moved on some 18 pages later.... Jeez[/quote]
I actually did. I just missed that bit! Dont be so rude.

@Lweji

No, you’re splitting hairs in regards to what I’ve said. I agree with you in regards to what you’re saying.

Truth yes people/ women are often told in 'counsellor-speak' to be 'vulnerable' and open to lurve (I remember being told by a counsellor that my stressful feelings at the beginning of a relationship could probably be because someone might 'care' (No, it wasn't, it was because I was getting mixed messages and my gut was responding!).

PS. If I genuinely thought someone had stolen my keys (and I think he did) I'd at least be tempted to report it to the police so at least it was on a record somewhere. I wouldn't want the police to take action of course! But I might ask police advice in the first instance. There may be a file on him somewhere ... (with nutters there often is).

@Terfydactyl I'm so sorry that happened to you Thank you for sharing your story here. Perhaps it may give some of those accusing the OP and others of 'hysteria' some pause for thought.

My post was not meant to alarm the OP (as I'm sure she's putting this 'relationship' to bed and the drama will therefore end soon) but more to point out the actual seriousness of stealing someone's house keys if thats what he did (and there's a good chance).

@ripples101 no she's not splitting hairs. What you're saying is inaccurate.

You are suggesting she doesn't like this man for unrelated reasons so she's jumping on this as an excuse to end it.

That would be fine if (for example) she let slip she found his table manners offputting and found herself cringing when he began singing along with Steps Greatest Hits.

In fact, OP gave extra context as to why she suspected he might have taken them. She listed a couple of reasons he was making her wary of him.

They are completely related.

cringing along to Steps Greatest Hits made me laugh out loud anyway .

I hope OP is OK. Just glad OP has realised all this as soon as she did.

@Nowomenaroundeh

No I’m not suggesting that at all.

None of the reasons are unrelated.

All are combined, and adding to her gut feeling that he isn’t right for her. That is entirely valid of her to think that.

And it’s because of how she feels overall that this incident may well be the icing on the cake for her.

I’ve said I agree with @Lweji.

I’m just questioning the terminology used, which is unnecessary between the discussion between Lweji and me, as I believe we’re essentially saying the same thing.

Well done on getting your locks changed. Did you get front and back changed?

He sounds very weird and possibly a bit obsessive. Count yourself lucky you’ve caught him out this early - do not see him again, and maybe change your dog walking route.

I hope you’ve managed to get some sleep now.

@Palosverdesblue

I changed all my barrels myself when XH left (I was skint!). They were eurolocks or something like that, about £35 each on Amazon which meant that I did three for the price of a locksmith doing one.

Really easy.

When we had Yale locks and the like we kept a couple of spare barrels for when one of the daughters inevitably lost theirs, about 15 minutes to do.

OP is fine thank you, absolutely dog-tired but hopefully will sleep like a baby. Yes all the reasons that have made me wary are related I think and keys-gate is just the last straw. I haven’t heard from him since he dropped the keys back this morning so I think he knows I suspect him. I’m overwhelmed by the support I’ve received and the fact that it keeps on coming. I do wish I was savvy enough to change the barrels or whatever for peanuts but just wanted to pay someone to get the job done quickly.

[quote SealHouse]@Terfydactyl I'm so sorry that happened to you Thank you for sharing your story here. Perhaps it may give some of those accusing the OP and others of 'hysteria' some pause for thought.[/quote]
I share it to pass on knowledge. It's a small thing to do but its peace in ones mind.
FWIW I do it myself now, current locks are dead easy to change the barrels. A YouTube video and a tape measure is all you need. Once you've done a couple it's the easiest thing. I cant do older mortice locks though.

And thank you, it was a long time ago now.
But if it helps one woman only and ever, i will keep sharing.

I would have opted for the locksmith too op, I don't have the confidence to DIY it.

Money well spent and the locksmith can have a decent Christmas ;)

I use a webcam on a windowsill overlooking the front path. The bundled software starts recording when it detects movement.

I've been thinking of fitting something like this @PigletJohn. Do you mind recommending one please? I know you're the oracle on this like this

You've done well OP but I'd steer clear of a Ring doorbell as they are easily hacked.

Get cctv , we did, and it doesn't cost too much.

You've dodged a bullet ( says someone who , after one date, got stalked for months.)
And yes, he declared his undying love for me on the first date and told me that he'd kill himself if I didn't see him again!

I would bolt the door and if he turns up and says, oh I seem to have your keys, I'd change the locks as I wouldn't trust him not to have a spare cut.

Wow, just seen update! Exactly as I predicted

That's a crazy amount of money that you had to spend bc your date was an a- hole and took hike your keys and was weird making you feel uncomfortable

I totally get why you changed locks and employed a locksmith to do it (& the rest now you have to get extra keys cut for your back up key holders and any DCs!)

Jeez

I would never ever speak to that man again because no one normally "accidentally takes home " someone else's keys

That all sounds so suss

And for the bargain price of £180 you haven't been stalked etc

😡😡

but, cheap at the price.

as with Eeyore, i'm also veering to being very distant, standoffish with him. hopefully he'll not bother you again.

glad of your update OP, you sound better .

@PanicBuyingSprouts

I use a webcam on a windowsill overlooking the front path. The bundled software starts recording when it detects movement.

I've been thinking of fitting something like this @PigletJohn. Do you mind recommending one please? I know you're the oracle on this like this

I just got a cheap one from my local supplier

You may need an extended USB cable

image is better if you put something black behind it to avoid it filming reflections

I looks similar to this but this ad doesn't mention movement activation so if you can't find the maker's manual, ask the vendor

I archive or delete the files weekly or it gets slow.

I got it when we had local vandalism due to a neighbour sadly suffering dementia. Hardly need it now.

You can get proper security cameras that are more expensive and need proper fitting and wiring in. If you have a glazed door an indoor cam should be fine.

p.s.

it just plugs into the PC with a USB cable

it is not internet enabled, so you can't view or operate it from around the world

and neither can hackers

internet cams are notorious for being hacked and spied.

I have no experience of smart doorbells

but there are some on

www.which.co.uk/reviews/smart-video-doorbells/article/recommendations/which-best-buy-smart-video-doorbells