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To not appreciate vibrators etc playing a part on family dramas!
186

Chamomileteaplease · 27/11/2021 13:32

Last night I started watching Bump on iplayer. In the first five minutes there is a scene where the mother's vibrator falls on the floor and is seen in all its glory.

I watched the first episode and it seemed like an OK drama, the kind you might watch with your older teens. But why do they have to throw in the vibrator scene? It wasn't needed and is just an embarrassment to the audience. Are they trying to be edgy??

A similar thing with Fleabag - I thought it would be a good series to watch with my older teenage daughter but then I remembered the first episode where she benignly accepts unasked for anal sex. The rest of the series is quite full on I would say, but nothing that bad again, from memory.

AIBU to be pissed off that programmes that might offer good family watching with older teens can be spoiled by unwarranted, in your face sexual scenes? Interested to hear if others agree.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Sassoon · 28/11/2021 20:30

'Yanbu. Hated that Fleabag scene, didn’t watch anymore of the show. I know we’re supposed to feel sorry for her character, but I’m sick of it being presented to teenagers as just another normal kind of sex. It isn’t, it’s the most gross and germy area of the body, stds passed anally are extremely difficult to treat with antibiotics, it often injures the female partner and imo it is not sex.'

So only the sex you like counts as sex then 🙄

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BiLuminous · 28/11/2021 21:14

Why would you not watch a show based on the first one minute of it 😆 i had no idea so many people are so prudish.
People have their own minds you know? Ive been asked for anal and guess what? Ive never wanted to so i havent. Even Fleabag couldnt tempt me. 😉

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Londoncallingme · 28/11/2021 22:14

I agree, so much I’d like to watch with teens but spoiled by one sex scene.
I also wish Titanic didn’t have the nudity in it because otherwise my 11yr old would love it.

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Londoncallingme · 28/11/2021 22:26

Last Xmas we all had Covid - except for DD who was at Uni. I told her not to come home for Xmas but to get a PCR test and if neg go and stay with Grandma for Xmas. She did. On the phone I said I’d seen something advertised that looked a bit like Downton Abbey - and I told her to watch it with Grandma who loved Downton, it was called Bridgerton. Fast forward to the next day, DD on the ‘phone, not impressed - “Mum, why did you tell me to watch Porn with my Grandma?”
I had no idea, totally thought it was a nice costume drama for Xmas - I still have never watched it as I know I’ll cringe knowing that I set them up to watch it together!

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WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 28/11/2021 22:59

scenes of dirty vibrators

You can clean them you know

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Feelingoktoday · 28/11/2021 23:10

Occasionally it would be nice to just watch vanilla sex on tv. Boys, watching porn, GOT etc, must think that is normal sex. So mixed up.

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Kanaloa · 28/11/2021 23:14

[quote TarasCrazyTiara]@Kanaloa

That’s just a part of a medieval fantasy though. And yes there’s a lot of crime shows where women are raped or killed but that’s what interests people and always has - but it’s more of a horror/fantasy morbid entertainment thing which doesn’t relate to real life. It’s like I would go on a roller coaster but don’t want to be in a speeding car on a mountain road - one is a fun imitation of danger and the other is too real.

Just because people would watch GoT with family or a murder mystery with a 15 yo daughter, or the occasional sex scene doesn’t mean they want to hear graphic realistic talk and scenes of dirty vibrators or realistic anal sex. Teens don’t want to watch that with their Mums anyway.[/quote]
Right, so exactly what I said then. Fantasy violent rape in a medieval setting - big thumbs up for family viewing. Realistic sex - dirty and not acceptable for watching with a teen. Raping and killing women and children - okey dokey artichokey. Dirty yucky vibrators - repulsive.

Absolute logic error there in my opinion but whatever.

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QueenofKattegat · 28/11/2021 23:17

@Chestnutshell

What’s shocking about a vibrator?

I'm wondering this too.

Although if OP thinks that Fleabag is "family drama", an innocent vibrator is the least of her worries.
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HangingOver · 28/11/2021 23:26

do schoolgirls have vibrators these days?!

I did and that was nearly twenty years ago!

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Snoozer11 · 28/11/2021 23:26

I would cringe at ANY sort of sex scene when teens are watching with their parents

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StarlightLady · 29/11/2021 01:18

I had a vibrater in my teens, 40s now and not scarred for life. As l write this l have 3 (clean) vibies in my bedside drawer and a waterproof one bath side.

Dramas cannot and should not be edited to save parental embarrassment.

Maybe the gore, murder rate and the under resourced police force in Midsommer Murders should be of more concern? Likewise Fleabag is a drama not a lifestyle guide.

As for Titanic and an 11 year old, nudity is not a big deal for children unless you make it so. But it does have a 12A certificate anyway.

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PilesEdgeworth · 29/11/2021 02:39

I'm in Canada and our major high street pharmacy (Boots equivalent) usually has a fine display of vibrators at the customer service booth. Wouldn't bat an eyelid upon seeing one on an adult TV show.

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TarasCrazyTiara · 29/11/2021 04:19

@Feelingoktoday

I doubt boys think hunting hookers with crossbows is ok just because they saw it on Game of Thrones. Don’t think they believe in Dragons now either.

Let’s calm down, somethings in that show are obviously not condoned as right and are done by evil characters. It’s an extremely unrealistic adult fantasy show and everyone knows it.

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StarlightLady · 29/11/2021 07:18

@PilesEdgeworth - a very good point. And larger Boots stores as well as supermarkets sell them in the UK too; they are supposed to outsell washing machines.

I would have thought Sex and The City was a significant example of vibies having an outing on mainstream TV.

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LadyOfLittleLeisure · 29/11/2021 07:27

*"How can you be OK with the sex scENESin GOT but have a tizzy over a vibrator on the floor??"

IKR. Rape is fine but a vibratory is not? Ok."

Yeah, agree with this

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Kanaloa · 29/11/2021 08:02

[quote TarasCrazyTiara]@Feelingoktoday

I doubt boys think hunting hookers with crossbows is ok just because they saw it on Game of Thrones. Don’t think they believe in Dragons now either.

Let’s calm down, somethings in that show are obviously not condoned as right and are done by evil characters. It’s an extremely unrealistic adult fantasy show and everyone knows it.[/quote]
Then surely it’s equally fine for someone to see a character on another programme have anal sex/use a vibrator?

My issue isn’t with the sex scenes in game of thrones, it’s the bizarre standpoint you’ve taken that somehow it’s morally superior to seeing a vibrator on screen because it’s a fantasy genre show.

If you feel sex is inappropriate for your child to view then don’t watch sexual content with them - but to somehow insist game of thrones is fine but a woman with a vibrator is gross and inappropriate is a weird view to hold.

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TarasCrazyTiara · 29/11/2021 08:10

@Kanaloa

I didn’t say it was wrong or inappropriate for a teen to watch either. It’s got nothing to do with morality, I’m fine with a 15 yo girl seeing both.

What I said was most teens and parents don’t want to watch gross out realistic sex with each other as it’s just weird for both.

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youkiddingme · 29/11/2021 08:18

Why does not wanting to watch stuff about sex for the sake of it make anyone a prude?

If the story warrants it, fine. But if it isn't adding anything significant to the theme then why is it there? Having a shit isn't disgusting. Yet we don't see that gratuitously stuck in every script. Flossing teeth is a normal part of life, or sticking cream up your arse if you have piles. Where are the writers queuing up to shove these things in our faces?

We all know our parents shagged, at least once. Doesn't mean we want a ring-side seat.

If it's not an integral part of the plot, why is it there? Whatever it is.

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aSofaNearYou · 29/11/2021 09:00

@youkiddingme

Why does not wanting to watch stuff about sex for the sake of it make anyone a prude?

If the story warrants it, fine. But if it isn't adding anything significant to the theme then why is it there? Having a shit isn't disgusting. Yet we don't see that gratuitously stuck in every script. Flossing teeth is a normal part of life, or sticking cream up your arse if you have piles. Where are the writers queuing up to shove these things in our faces?

We all know our parents shagged, at least once. Doesn't mean we want a ring-side seat.

If it's not an integral part of the plot, why is it there? Whatever it is.

Having sex often has more emotive value and usually conveys more to the audience about the central couple than having a shit or flossing, though. I get what you're saying about "if it isn't adding anything significant to the theme", but I do think sex scenes generally do add something, certainly the examples on here do!
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TarasCrazyTiara · 29/11/2021 09:14

@aSofaNearYou

Seeing someone vibrator has emotional value?Hmm

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youkiddingme · 29/11/2021 09:41

I agree asofanearyou that sex and the associated emotions can be an important part of the story, and as such that's fine. I haven't seen these two shows, my comment was more a general observation.

I do feel that the amount of sex shown generally, is disproportionate to the weight it carries in many scripts. And anyone who makes a remark about it being used gratuitously is labelled a prude - by some people.
There is a lot of emotion tied up with the sharing of food for example, with the way people interact about all manner of everyday things that tells us much about character and relationships, often these small nuances can tell us more than a sex scene.

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Kanaloa · 29/11/2021 09:57

[quote TarasCrazyTiara]@Kanaloa

I didn’t say it was wrong or inappropriate for a teen to watch either. It’s got nothing to do with morality, I’m fine with a 15 yo girl seeing both.

What I said was most teens and parents don’t want to watch gross out realistic sex with each other as it’s just weird for both.[/quote]
So then surely game of thrones is just the same, if not worse because the sex is more graphic?

Again, my issue isn’t the sex. It’s your weird insistence that game of thrones is somehow top notch parent and teen viewing while a vibrator is ‘dirty.’ So a teen can’t possibly watch a vibrator fall onto the floor with her mum but Theon’s full cock is a-ok. It’s a weird stand to take on it.

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MammaMacgill87 · 29/11/2021 10:27

They aren't family dramas, so you are being a tad unreasonable. However at 16 I don't see why you couldn't watch them together. They will be well aware of a content that gets brought up and if nothing else it's opens the door to honest conversation between you and your teen about relationships consent blah blah blah. It's feels like you are being precious here. At 17 I'd left home had a job and several vibrators 😂 Even now I could casually watch a series like this with one of my parents because we've always been open about all topics and have the same sense of humour etc, if you simply aren't comfortable or it's YOU that would be embarrassed then just don't watch

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ThrobbingToothacheOfTheMind · 29/11/2021 13:55

[quote TarasCrazyTiara]@Feelingoktoday

I doubt boys think hunting hookers with crossbows is ok just because they saw it on Game of Thrones. Don’t think they believe in Dragons now either.

Let’s calm down, somethings in that show are obviously not condoned as right and are done by evil characters. It’s an extremely unrealistic adult fantasy show and everyone knows it.[/quote]
Let’s calm down says the one using dramatic and emotive language.

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WithANameLikeDaniCalifornia · 29/11/2021 14:03

@Penlee19Dec81SolomonBrowneRNLB

Thank you for the warning, *@Chamomileteaplease*,
I shall never watch either one of these.
YANBU.
The ones who think this is all OK are poor suckers
who are in for a rude awakening.

When is the —prude— rude awakening happening? I need to know if I should cancel things I’ve got booked next month.
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