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To not appreciate vibrators etc playing a part on family dramas!
186

Chamomileteaplease · 27/11/2021 13:32

Last night I started watching Bump on iplayer. In the first five minutes there is a scene where the mother's vibrator falls on the floor and is seen in all its glory.

I watched the first episode and it seemed like an OK drama, the kind you might watch with your older teens. But why do they have to throw in the vibrator scene? It wasn't needed and is just an embarrassment to the audience. Are they trying to be edgy??

A similar thing with Fleabag - I thought it would be a good series to watch with my older teenage daughter but then I remembered the first episode where she benignly accepts unasked for anal sex. The rest of the series is quite full on I would say, but nothing that bad again, from memory.

AIBU to be pissed off that programmes that might offer good family watching with older teens can be spoiled by unwarranted, in your face sexual scenes? Interested to hear if others agree.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 27/11/2021 14:55

I have no idea why, as a culture, we are so odd about the concept of - women especially - experiencing pleasure with their own bodies.

Because sex is to be enjoyed by men and endured by women.

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Skysblue · 27/11/2021 14:56

Yanbu. Hated that Fleabag scene, didn’t watch anymore of the show. I know we’re supposed to feel sorry for her character, but I’m sick of it being presented to teenagers as just another normal kind of sex. It isn’t, it’s the most gross and germy area of the body, stds passed anally are extremely difficult to treat with antibiotics, it often injures the female partner and imo it is not sex.

Sick of kids being taught weird stuff about sex and exposed to violent porn etc.

You know what teens, particularly boys, are never ever exposed to on the screen or internet? Healthy fun sex in a loving relationship. The people making the shows aren’t interested in that. And then we wonder why violence against women is so dramatically on the rise 😢



I

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Kanaloa · 27/11/2021 14:59

I mean in fleabag it’s kind of relevant - and if you watch the entire show it’s definitely not being presented as normal/good/healthy behaviour but as the result of a traumatised individual. Not every programme is there to teach a moral lesson.

I think if you want a family show (no graphic scenes) Fleabag is one to avoid. There are lots of programmes without graphic scenes.

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ZZTopGuitarSolo · 27/11/2021 15:00

@Sparklingbrook

Everybody raved about the sex scenes in Normal People and said it was a must watch for teenagers (re consent etc) but I wouldn't have wanted to watch those scenes with my teenagers particularly.

I'm 52 and I found it uncomfortable to watch with my parents Grin
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Kanaloa · 27/11/2021 15:01

Also game of thrones has incest/rape galore. If memory serves there’s also an in-depth torture section. But as long as no women are enjoying it Confused

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Lillith111 · 27/11/2021 15:01

I think it's sad that female masturbation and pleasure (vibrators) is considered taboo. Loads of young girls don't know how to enjoy themselves sexually and it's probably better they start with masturbation and vibrators.

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aSofaNearYou · 27/11/2021 15:06

I've never heard of Bump but Fleabag is not a family drama so I think to an extent YABU. If something was meant for families and had inappropriate content in it, fair enough, but you can't be annoyed that adult dramas have adult content in them.

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GrumpyPanda · 27/11/2021 15:09

[quote Chamomileteaplease]@SleepingStandingUp do schoolgirls have vibrators these days?! Am I behind the times?

I think I would be ok with a conversation with my 16 year old about anything but maybe not watching explicit stuff on a screen.

But you all have a point about being more aware of what I suggest to watch when we are together.

I watched Game of Thrones with my other child when she was 16 and that produced some good discussion. But there were no vibrators in that programme so it was ok Grin.[/quote]
Vibrators bad, rape and gratuitous violence fine? Shock

In any case YAB completely U to expect scriptwriters to kiddify grown-up content for your convenience. Why should others have their viewing censored?

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BarefootHippieChick · 27/11/2021 15:10

@Lillith111

I think it's sad that female masturbation and pleasure (vibrators) is considered taboo. Loads of young girls don't know how to enjoy themselves sexually and it's probably better they start with masturbation and vibrators.



Yep. Men joke constantly about whacking off, time in the bathroom with a girlie mag, etc. Just par for the course. But when do women ever discuss masturbation? Very rarely it seems.
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nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 27/11/2021 15:10

How is a vibrator not 'normal sex'?

Why is something that is geared towards pleasuring the woman considered abnormal or 'a bit much?

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Carrotte · 27/11/2021 15:11

I watched Game of Thrones with my other child when she was 16 and that produced some good discussion. But there were no vibrators in that programme so it was ok grin. you're having a laugh now

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CamilleCamisole · 27/11/2021 15:13

@NuffSaidSam

YABU.

Fleabag is not a family drama! Although it is suitable for older teens even with the anal sex bit (talk to your teens about it!).

I haven't seen Bump. If it is aimed at families then I would agree about the vibrator, but sounds like it's also not a family drama. It's perfectly acceptable for older teens to know about vibrators!

This^^

Game of Thrones is so much worse than Fleabag or a vibrator (haven't seen Bump though)
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BarefootHippieChick · 27/11/2021 15:14

If I'm going to watch depictions of sex, I'd rather it be realistic than the Hollywood clutching at sheets, non-messy, make up still in place version

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Lorw · 27/11/2021 15:15

@Lillith111

I think it's sad that female masturbation and pleasure (vibrators) is considered taboo. Loads of young girls don't know how to enjoy themselves sexually and it's probably better they start with masturbation and vibrators.

This. x100.
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Sciurus83 · 27/11/2021 15:15

You've got some weird ideas about what normal sex is, rape and incest is fine but female orgasms are awkward? Oooook, maybe it's not the TV show writers that are the issue here?

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Lillith111 · 27/11/2021 15:19

Why shouldn't schoolgirls have vibrators? It's safe, pleasurable, and prepares them better for actual sex.

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Graphista · 27/11/2021 15:23

I think yabu for 2 reasons

1 these are NOT family dramas they are adult dramas and clearly marketed as such

2 if you think older teens aren't aware of anal sex and vibrators you are EXTREMELY Naive

I think maybe you need to catch up to modern times tbh

This wouldn't even have been all that shocking when I was a teen 30 years ago!

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Graphista · 27/11/2021 15:25

I'm actually quite shocked having now read your other posts that you seem to have a 16 yo and an over 16 yo that you don't seem to have discussed sex and sexuality and other factors affecting their sexual development with?

I could be misreading but that's how it comes across

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TarasCrazyTiara · 27/11/2021 15:29

@Graphista

It might not be shocking but who wants to watch anal sex and vibrators with their kids - or their parents?

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Thadhiya · 27/11/2021 15:29

Maybe research the shows before you settle down to watch 'family things' with the kids? It's not the TV's fault you choose something you've heard might be 'fun' and plonk your offspring in front of adult shows about sex.

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Kanaloa · 27/11/2021 15:33

[quote TarasCrazyTiara]@Graphista

It might not be shocking but who wants to watch anal sex and vibrators with their kids - or their parents?[/quote]
Clearly the op and her daughter do, since they’ve watched Game of Thrones. Plenty of sex of all types (plenty of rape too). Lots of full frontal nudity. Violent torture scenes that often serve little purpose in the narrative.

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Kanaloa · 27/11/2021 15:34

Also what’s with the title - vibrators aren’t playing a part in ‘family dramas.’ It’s hardly The Waltons.

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Chamomileteaplease · 27/11/2021 15:36

I said that I would be quite happy talking about anything with them. And have more so with the older one. The younger one is more reserved.

It was a bit tongue in cheek about GoT not having a vibrator in it. GoT encouraged some great chat about the incest, rape etc.

But yes maybe I need to look inward as to why vibrators and teens don't seem to mix, for me.

I realise Fleabag is not a family drama, you are right but I suppose I had hoped I would enjoy it with the 16 year old. It was her who didn;t enjoy it actually.

Food for thought. Thanks all for the discussion.

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cookiemonster2468 · 27/11/2021 15:41

[quote Chamomileteaplease]@SleepingStandingUp do schoolgirls have vibrators these days?! Am I behind the times?

I think I would be ok with a conversation with my 16 year old about anything but maybe not watching explicit stuff on a screen.

But you all have a point about being more aware of what I suggest to watch when we are together.

I watched Game of Thrones with my other child when she was 16 and that produced some good discussion. But there were no vibrators in that programme so it was ok Grin.[/quote]
Yeah, I mean... it's your choice what you watch. Don't blame the show!

Look it up beforehand if these things are going to bother you.

I don't think a vibrator is "edgy" and sex is a part of life so of course it will be depicted on tv shows and everyone has different tastes. It's your responsibility to look up what you're watching if there are sensitivities.

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cookiemonster2468 · 27/11/2021 15:43

I find it interesting that you find all of the themes in Game of Thrones ok to watch with your teenagers, but not a vibrator. A lot of the things in Game of Thrones are extremely adult and uncomfortable to watch.

Incest and rape are OK but not vibrators... that just seems a bit strange.

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