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To not appreciate vibrators etc playing a part on family dramas!
186

Chamomileteaplease · 27/11/2021 13:32

Last night I started watching Bump on iplayer. In the first five minutes there is a scene where the mother's vibrator falls on the floor and is seen in all its glory.

I watched the first episode and it seemed like an OK drama, the kind you might watch with your older teens. But why do they have to throw in the vibrator scene? It wasn't needed and is just an embarrassment to the audience. Are they trying to be edgy??

A similar thing with Fleabag - I thought it would be a good series to watch with my older teenage daughter but then I remembered the first episode where she benignly accepts unasked for anal sex. The rest of the series is quite full on I would say, but nothing that bad again, from memory.

AIBU to be pissed off that programmes that might offer good family watching with older teens can be spoiled by unwarranted, in your face sexual scenes? Interested to hear if others agree.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

BoredZelda · 27/11/2021 15:43

There are a whole heap of programmes that I reckon my 12 yo daughter would really enjoy were it not for this sort of thing or for the gratuitous sex that actually adds nothing to the storyline. Seems to be something the streaming services think everyone wants to see. I think it’s pointless.

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Sugarbellaella · 27/11/2021 15:46

YABU - are not family dramas and have never claimed to be! Just like SATC and Queer as folk weren’t family dramas - great o watch with your mates when an older teenager but not with your Mum!

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Nayday · 27/11/2021 15:47

Very surprised that you favour Game of Thrones over Fleabag.
Game of Thrones was straight up misogynistic in the early seasons, one small example among many - the brothel setting was a handy excuse to have naked young girls shagging fat old men, or each other simply as a backdrop to main character dialogue. Not to mention scenes where prostitutes were maimed/killed - as a minor plot point. That was just season 1. I think the later seasons got a bit better but much of the violence towards women was just gratuitous, coated by tenuous plot points.
Personally I'd rather see the rawness of Fleabag and a woman's presentation of their sexuality, even if it's uncomfortable. Fleabag was on a journey (yuk, I know) but her relationships/sex etc are a reflection of her self esteem, who she is. I loved her from the moment she giggles vacuously at a man on the bus in the name of flirting, then looks straight at the camera and deadpans something like "I hate myself" - before carrying straight on. It's rare to see into a woman's inner world - rather than a man's take on it.
Question yourself why you'd rather see a girl being used for sex by a pimp in GoT over seeing a vibrator used for masturbation in plain sight. Which one should be more "normal"?

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diddl · 27/11/2021 15:48

Haven't see/heard of Bump but will give it a look now.

Anyone remember Love My Way also created by & starring Claudia Karvan?

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Naughtynovembertree · 27/11/2021 15:48

I know it's too much

I Would have liked to watch Emily in Paris with my teen but the initial vibrator scene was too much

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rrhuth · 27/11/2021 15:51

YABU because you want adult dramas/comedies to be watered down and made into family dramas to suit yourself.

Fleabag was excellent the way it was - your teens are too young to watch it presumably.

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rrhuth · 27/11/2021 15:52

I Would have liked to watch Emily in Paris with my teen but the initial vibrator scene was too much

Confused

I would have liked to watch Blair Witch Project with my toddler but they made it too scary

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IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 27/11/2021 15:55

Neither Bump or Fleabag are family dramas!

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ChateauxNeufDePoop · 27/11/2021 15:57

@rrhuth

I Would have liked to watch Emily in Paris with my teen but the initial vibrator scene was too much

Confused

I would have liked to watch Blair Witch Project with my toddler but they made it too scary

Grin
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Penistoe · 27/11/2021 15:59

Fleabag for teens?! Are you insane.
You sound a bit uptight tbh.

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gogohm · 27/11/2021 15:59

Bump is definitely 16+

I enjoyed it and it's being suggested as suitable for young adults which it is. Because you are embarrassed doesn't make it unsuitable for young adults, I watched it with dd and dsd who found that scene hilarious (university students)

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gogohm · 27/11/2021 16:03

Oh and they liked fleabag too last year, watched it during one of the lockdowns, all were over 18 by then

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TheseBootsWereMadeForSitting · 27/11/2021 16:08

I am sick of sex on TV.

I am very much not a prude.

It's just all gotten so very dull and predictable now.

Shocking sex scenes, yeah, grunt, that'll get more viewers and get the media and social media going.

So fucking boring.

If you want to watch people fuck, there's plenty enough porn in the world.

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oakleaffy · 27/11/2021 16:10

@Chestnutshell

What’s shocking about a vibrator?

Vibrators are soooo commonplace now, teens but them as jokes for each other's birthdays.
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BiLuminous · 27/11/2021 16:17

Lol at you thinking Fleabag was OK to watch with a teen and then complaining about it not being. Grin

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wavingwhilstdrowning · 27/11/2021 16:23

I know at least 10 people who stopped watching Fleabag 10 mins in and never watched any more.

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BurbageBrook · 27/11/2021 16:24

The anal sex thing in Fleabag would be a good opportunity for a chat about consent and not feeling pressured. It’s hardly framed as ‘isn’t it great!’ on the show. But it’s also an adult comedy.

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MarleneDietrichsSmile · 27/11/2021 16:24

My 16 yr old and I watch things like this. But not together Grin

Teenagers def know all about sex, at the very least in theory. Many 12/13 yr olds are sexually active. Your teens are probably not as naive and innocent as you think…

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RaisedByPangolins · 27/11/2021 16:25

@HollowTalk

My only gripe about fleabag was that anal sex scene at the start. It's the only bit I would cut from the whole lot.

In a way I felt she was sorting the viewers out into those who would stick with the programme and those who would switch off.


True - I switched off! Then after hearing everyone else rave about it, I gave it another try and loved it.

I do agree about the prevalence of sex scenes generally though. A number of times I’ve suggested a film my 21yo DS might enjoy, and the in the first 5 minutes, full frontal nudity and noisy humping which does nothing to progress the story. I know he’s an adult, but nobody wants to watch that with their mum!

Also the LoveHoney ads and erectile dysfunction ads that are on in between regular programmes I watch with the DC. Unnecessary - as a young teen I was never subjected to the idea of ED or sex toys etc and I find it sad that it’s so common place now.
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MissingSummertime · 27/11/2021 16:25

YANBU - I would not be happy for my DC to see that sort of thing either (when they are older as very little atm).

I think while the specifics of those two programmes in particular has been discussed here with people saying they YABU as they aren’t family viewing (and from the ads I saw of Fleabag I would agree, haven’t seen Bump) there is a wider problem here, and that is what exactly IS suitable and safe for family viewing? (for young children and older children/ teens)??

The only adult show we’re happy to sit watch together with our young DD is pre-tea time quiz shows like Countdown! (And while fun, is rather short on plot! 😁)

This thread makes me feel nostalgic for the lovely family shows I used to watch with my parents like Bruce Forsythe’s Generation Game, Challenge Anneka, Changing Rooms, Quantum Leap, Stars in Their Eyes….

I think the Beeb is crying out for some nice safe family friendly shows or dramas. No foul language, violence or sex just sit and cuddle on the sofa with a cuppa viewing!

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Summerfun54321 · 27/11/2021 16:26

I couldn’t get worked up over a vibrator or anal sex featuring in tv for adults. Fair enough if you’re talking about sexual violence, but you’re talking about things consenting sexually active adults do (or probably don’t do in your case if you’re so shocked by them).

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oviraptor21 · 27/11/2021 16:27

[quote Chamomileteaplease]@SleepingStandingUp do schoolgirls have vibrators these days?! Am I behind the times?

I think I would be ok with a conversation with my 16 year old about anything but maybe not watching explicit stuff on a screen.

But you all have a point about being more aware of what I suggest to watch when we are together.

I watched Game of Thrones with my other child when she was 16 and that produced some good discussion. But there were no vibrators in that programme so it was ok Grin.[/quote]
You must have missed the episode with what looked like anal sex and not particularly consensual looking either.
I confess I have never watched it but walked into one episode that my DP was watching with our 17 year old.

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HaroldSteptoesHorse · 27/11/2021 16:32

Same as kissing.. why the hell is it so loud and goes on for far too long

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TolkiensFallow · 27/11/2021 16:32

I’m with you! But then me and my mum never talk about sex as it’s private in my book. I wouldn’t want to watch vibrators and sex stuff on tv with family. It’s unnecessary

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ChristmasScrooge · 27/11/2021 16:33

I agree. Motherland is a good series though if your looking for something to watch, really funny and not cringy... well not that type of cringe. Grin

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