To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do

[0verth1inker]

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

They should have sent you the tickets so you could go in without them.

I would not be happy at all but would try to put it behind me if they were good friends and not book any time sensitive things with them in future!

I think you may end not being friends if you pursue this, although you are totally in the right!!

Hi friend if you can just transfer me the cash back so I can rebook for me and dh to take our dc next week end.. Thanks.. Op.

YANBU as they caused you to miss something you'd paid for. With 2 people in the car, one of them could have sent you the tickets.

They can rebook and pay for all, if they had any decency you wouldn't need to ask.

As @Santaischeckinglists said

I would be soooo pissed off . I'm getting riled just reading that.

I would be FREAKED!!!!!! £62 fucking quid because they couldn't get there on time and wouldn't send you the tickets?? Definitely ask them again for your money back

It wasn't just one of those things. They were late!
I think how you deal with this now will depend on how much you want to stay friends.
If you push them to pay for your tickets on the basis it's their fault you missed the slot, they're unlikely to cough up without feeling hard done by.
I wouldn't arrange to do something with them like this again. Unless you have control of any tickets!

Did they give an explanation for being so late?

agree, they should refund you - but is it somethhing you'd risk losing friendship over?

Oh my god I'm fuming on your behalf!

If you push them to pay for your tickets on the basis it's their fault you missed the slot, they're unlikely to cough up without feeling hard done by. I totally disagree with this. You're asking for your own money back. You paid your share and it was entirely their fault that you missed out. I'd absolutely be asking them to send on your money so that you can rebook.

That’s the thing if they’d sent us the tickets and either not got in or been super late that’s fine, only affects them. But it’s the fact they wouldn’t then we missed out. We don’t do loads of ‘big’ stuff and our children had been so excited and waiting for it all weekend.

I can't understand why they didn't send you the tickets! They should have understood that it wasn't fair to expect your children to wait that long even if you'd been allowed in late. They absolutely owe you £62, it isn't 'one of those things', it's their fault and the only ridiculous people in the scenario is them! I think you'll have to be really direct about how much their thoughtlessness upset your children and that since they withheld the tickets you paid for they needto reimburse you.

You asked them for the tickets, they refused as they were coming. So yes you are absolutely within your rights to be upset and angry at the situation. I'd be requesting the money back so you can re book, or use it towards something else nice for your family. Also lesson learnt, do not rely on these friends for nice events. Book your own tickets!

I’d ask for it back again. It’s not one of those things, it’s poor time keeping on their part and why should you be punished and miss out for their mistake! If they were really good friends they would feel bad and be rebooking or would have sent the e-ticket through to you.

I don’t want to lose their friendship however since having their DC they’ve been incredibly flakey and every plan has to revolve around them and the baby so I honestly wouldn’t mind stepping back for a bit until they get a grip.

I wouldn't pursue the money if you want to salvage the friendship at all but I'd definitely just step back from the friendship until they become normal again- hopefully in a few years they'll laugh about what dicks they were.

They are behaving very badly.
That is a lot of money to many people as well as looking forward to the event.
They should have sent you the tickets at least as you have paid for them.
Their attitude is appalling.

YANBU but it does depend on how much you value their friendship as I have a feeling you might lose it over this. It is not "one of those things". It is their fault entirely.

@0verth1inker

I don’t want to lose their friendship however since having their DC they’ve been incredibly flakey and every plan has to revolve around them and the baby so I honestly wouldn’t mind stepping back for a bit until they get a grip.

I would persist even if it meant losing the friendship. They sound like rubbish friends anyway.

@0verth1inker

I don’t want to lose their friendship however since having their DC they’ve been incredibly flakey and every plan has to revolve around them and the baby so I honestly wouldn’t mind stepping back for a bit until they get a grip.

Ask again for the money then. They need to learn it's not on to waste peoples money.

You’ve every right to ask for your money back as they didn’t send you the bloody tickets when you asked for them. Hope you do get it back and you can take your children in the end. Without your flakey dickhead friends.

YANBU. I'd tell them the DC were so disappointed to have missed out that you have promised them you'll rebook and send them your bank details for them to repay you the money.

Tell them they underestimate how much the kids were looking forward to this and you would like the money back to rebook. The second they refused to send the tickets was the second they took the responsibility.

I'd stake the friendship me.