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To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do
496

0verth1inker · 26/11/2021 12:10

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

OP's posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

percythewitch · 28/11/2021 15:51

Have they at least offered to give you the money back?

Sigh. If only there were a way to find that out......

oh, wait........ READ THE THREAD.

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Offmyfence · 28/11/2021 15:51

@KarenTheGammonRemoaner the money was given back a few days ago!

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KarenTheGammonRemoaner · 28/11/2021 15:53

[quote Offmyfence]@KarenTheGammonRemoaner the money was given back a few days ago! [/quote]
Then I'd leave it. It was divvy thing to do but what's the harm now? But if they do anything like it again I'd stop speaking to them to be fair. No time for people like that.

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percythewitch · 28/11/2021 17:40

No time for people like that.

No time to bother to read the thread either.

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Mary46 · 28/11/2021 18:16

I wouldnt do anything socially with them going forward

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Chopbob · 28/11/2021 19:39

Arrrgghhhh. This kind of thing makes me so mad!
It reminds me of a friend of mine who is absolutely obsessed with her PFB. She ALWAYS turns up late, always sends you to order the food or pay the bill in cafes because she has a baby with her (nevermind the fact I had 2 under 2 with me).
She left me waiting for her for a pre-booked event for 4 hours with a 6 weeks old baby. No real explanation just some shit about struggling to get out of bed. No apology. In fact she was quite annoyed when she called me to say she had arrived and I was in the car on my way home.
It boils my piss even thinking about it!
We never had a fall out but I have eventually distanced myself from her and all that crap.

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dayswithaY · 28/11/2021 20:04

This reminds me of the classic "Cancel the cheque" if anyone remembers that.

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ShabsLovesTiff · 28/11/2021 20:26

Sorry for not reading every single last comment on the thread it’s cos we have more important things to do not as much time as you to scrutinise everyone commenting late

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ClaudiaJ1 · 28/11/2021 20:32

@ShabsLovesTiff

Sorry for not reading every single last comment on the thread it’s cos we have more important things to do not as much time as you to scrutinise everyone commenting late

@ShabsLovesTiff you don't need to read the whole thread of replies, but it is expected that you read all the OP's posts. You can do that by clicking The See All link directly under the first post: OP’s posts: See next | See all

The OP only has posted 10 times so it doesn't take long at all to read their updates.
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MizzFizz · 28/11/2021 20:35

They clearly don't understand (or care) how upsetting and disappointing this must have been for your little ones! Far beyond the £62.... I would be saying that to them... We need to make this up to the kids, they were really upset, so if you could please send us the money back so we can rebook. I would definitely question the friendship if they can't even admit and make right what they did ...

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ShabsLovesTiff · 28/11/2021 20:37

Okay didn’t know that thank you

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SingleMamaGY · 28/11/2021 21:36

Your post made me twitch with rage. What another poster said. “Hiya, please transfer over £62 Ive just found a min to rebook in for the winter walk through. You guys are welcome to come obviously blah blah blah but give me my money back

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tallduckandhandsome · 28/11/2021 21:37

Funny how they always have time to come to the thread to see who’s responded to their posts though 🙄

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Plumbuddle · 28/11/2021 21:56

@tallduckandhandsome

Funny how they always have time to come to the thread to see who’s responded to their posts though 🙄

that's because mumsnet sends you an email to say you have been namechecked.
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Nowomenaroundeh · 28/11/2021 22:30

I would be furious too.

They messaged when they were already five minutes late, why couldn't they have let you know earlier that they were behind schedule? You had your own children to entertain.
They refused to send you the tickets.
They lied when they said they were only ten minutes away.
They ruined your day and upset your children.
They didn't have the manners to apologise for any of that, simply described it as 'one of those things". No it was their fault completely.
You had to ask them for the money. They should have been thrusting it at you while apologising and trying to salvage the day out somehow.

And the pp who said they will retell this story so you are the bad guys is right.

I would be avoiding till they get their heads out of their asses.

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LoisLane66 · 28/11/2021 22:46

I've been on several themed light walks in recent years and they ALL mention time slots on the booking form AND in the confirmation email.
FRIENDS don't leave you wondering why they're late so you have to ring.
Friends don't withhold tickets which have the time slot stated on them.
Friends don't dismiss £62 as 'one of those things'. That's £31 each (most don't charge for under 5s) and a considerable amount to dismiss.
It's entirely their fault. They knew it was timed. They knew you'd miss out but thought they'd wing it and be allowed in. It doesn't happen.
If they are the kind of 'friends' you don't mind having in your life then tell them it doesn't matter and smile while you lie.
I personally know for a fact that none of my friends would behave like that.
Tell them that you, your OH and the children were disappointed to have wasted an evening and a fair amount of money when they refused to send you the tickets and you hope she rethinks giving you your money back.
Tell her that the friendship rests on her doing the right thing and you, regretfully, aren't prepared to settle for her dismissing it as 'One of those things'. Real friends don't do that. She needs to apologise and pay up. If she gets uppity and refuses to be friends because of something that was her fault entirely, then you are better off without flakes in your life.

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thamesriviera · 28/11/2021 22:48

@Battytwatty

READ
THE
THREAD
THEY
GOT
THE
MONEY
BACK
FFS!!

Say what??
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LoisLane66 · 28/11/2021 22:55

No reason why she couldn't BF in the car. It's not as if they'd be driving over rutted dirt tracks...a bumpy ride.
She could have sat comfortably in the back, fed burped and changed baby while husband drove.
I've done it many times on long trips, without incident.
Glad to read that you asked again and she sent the money. You deserve better friends but I bet she won't do that again.
Enjoy your trip.

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eastegg · 28/11/2021 23:06

@LoisLane66

No reason why she couldn't BF in the car. It's not as if they'd be driving over rutted dirt tracks...a bumpy ride.
She could have sat comfortably in the back, fed burped and changed baby while husband drove.
I've done it many times on long trips, without incident.
Glad to read that you asked again and she sent the money. You deserve better friends but I bet she won't do that again.
Enjoy your trip.

Not sure where you are, but here in the UK the child would have to be strapped into a car seat. It’s the law. And it’s the law because it helps to save lives.

Glad to hear you did it ‘without incident’ because if there had been an ‘incident’ it could have horrific.

We were always looking for ways to cut shorter our 6 hour car journey to see my folks when ours were babies (still are) but Jesus we didn’t do this.
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UnderBlanket · 28/11/2021 23:07

@LoisLane66

No reason why she couldn't BF in the car. It's not as if they'd be driving over rutted dirt tracks...a bumpy ride.
She could have sat comfortably in the back, fed burped and changed baby while husband drove.
I've done it many times on long trips, without incident.
Glad to read that you asked again and she sent the money. You deserve better friends but I bet she won't do that again.
Enjoy your trip.

I'm sorry, what?? That is fucking madness, incredibly dangerous and illegal.
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eastegg · 28/11/2021 23:08

And anyway, there’s absolutely no need to be talking about how the friend could have fed baby in the car, because she could have solved the whole situation by sending the flipping e-tickets.

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eastegg · 28/11/2021 23:09

*been horrific

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LoisLane66 · 29/11/2021 01:04

know that it's illegal nowadays but there is nothing to stop you feeding a child with expressed milk whilst both you and child are appropriately 'restrained'.
My children were born before it became law to wear seatbelts in front or the back of a vehicle. That was law in 1973 for front seats. Back seat safety belt law was 1991 and baby and children under a certain age/height in 2006. (UK)
Naturally, no-one in their right mind nowadays would not wear seat restraints although some still do which is madness.
I should have made it clear that I meant expressed milk by bottle, although in a bygone age I fed mine on my lap if necessary.

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pompomsgalore · 29/11/2021 05:41

@LoisLane66

No reason why she couldn't BF in the car. It's not as if they'd be driving over rutted dirt tracks...a bumpy ride.
She could have sat comfortably in the back, fed burped and changed baby while husband drove.
I've done it many times on long trips, without incident.
Glad to read that you asked again and she sent the money. You deserve better friends but I bet she won't do that again.
Enjoy your trip.

What you mean is you broken the law many times and your experience is a sample of one that didn't lead to a fatal car accident. It's not the 1970's now. Were you smoking and feeding too by any chance?
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eastegg · 29/11/2021 07:22

@LoisLane66

know that it's illegal nowadays but there is nothing to stop you feeding a child with expressed milk whilst both you and child are appropriately 'restrained'.
My children were born before it became law to wear seatbelts in front or the back of a vehicle. That was law in 1973 for front seats. Back seat safety belt law was 1991 and baby and children under a certain age/height in 2006. (UK)
Naturally, no-one in their right mind nowadays would not wear seat restraints although some still do which is madness.
I should have made it clear that I meant expressed milk by bottle, although in a bygone age I fed mine on my lap if necessary.

What a blatant backtrack.

You said ‘No reason she couldn’t BF in the car’.
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