To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do

[0verth1inker]

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

You deserve better friends than that. £62 is a lot of money, I would be very firm that they need to return it. I'd be mortified if I caused someone to miss out like that.

I’d be so annoyed. For a £62 event you make sure you are on time. Why wouldn’t they forward email?

Realised I didn't say what I'd do.

Definitely reply saying it's not one of those things, you were late and you caused me and my dc a great deal of distress which could have been easily avoided if you'd sent the tickets on. It's only fair you reimburse us.

Decent friends would have sent the tickets, they would also offer to reimburse straightway when they messed up you day out.

they should be grateful you aren't asking for the wasted petrol and lunch money too!

YANBU. Bad enough to be that late, but they should have sent you the tickets. If it was me I'd be mortified to have let someone down like that and would definitely be refunding the money.

I would also just be saying: "We cannot afford to write off £62, I'm sure you understand and appreciate you refunding us."

Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.

Anybody else wondering if there actually were any tickets?

@Aquamarine1029

The friendship is over no matter what the outcome is. Doesn't sound like a big lose, honestly.

Not 'a big loss' to you maybe but to many it's a huge amount at an expensive time of the year. Some people on here are so smug in their self-righteousness.

@Feedingthebirds1 they definitely did have them! They had them up on the phone and were arguing with the event staff to get in. I think they had this image of us all going in together, wandering round with a hot drink (which would have been lovely!!) and didn’t want us to start without them.
Thanks all- glad to know my indignation is reasonable! I think because their baby didn’t care he missed it as obviously was clueless they didn’t appreciate the impact on our kids (although our four year old did burst into tears when we weren’t allowed in ).
I’ve messaged saying ‘hi guys, I know it’s frustrating and you can’t help if baby needs a feed but we asked you for the tickets as we were there and you wouldn’t send them, otherwise we could have gone in. The kids were looking forward to it so if you could send the money over we Are going to rebook for another time’
Just hope they have tickets left…

@JudgeJ I read @Aquamarine1029 post as not a big loss of their friendship rather than finances! Yes it’s a lot of money this time of year and a real treat for our family.

From what I'm reading, they don't see it as their fault at all. In their minds, it is entirely the fault of the venue for not letting all of you in. Wow. I'm shocked that people like this exist.

Baby sleeping and baby feeding - both those things could’ve been done in the car. Yanbu.

God I really hope they respond to that and refund it

I think you've been very nice in your last text, and if you lose the friendship over this, then so be it.

I have a feeling they will continue to be 'those' parents.
Becoming distant might not be a bad thing.
Sorry your DCs missed out.

Well done for standing up for yourselves.

I would absolutely be wanting them to refund me and I wouldn't care one bit about ruining the friendship.

I wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway, selfish, inconsiderate idiots. They should have sent you the e-tickets not upset your DC by ruining everyone's day!

Lesson learned
Book your own tickets separately for same time slot
Don't trust them again

I think the next reply to that message would dictate whether I'd want to continue with the friendship. If they still refuse I'd be taking a very large step back

We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

So you message again making clear that as you were on time, you expect that money back.

I'd be raging too. Such lack of respect and consideration.

Let us know how this progresses. No refund would be a dealbreaker for me. Not just the $$ but the attitude.

@JudgeJ i think "not a big loss" referred to the friendship not the cash.

This is awful! Obviously £62 is a lot of money to waste but I think the worst part of this is that you had a 2.5 hour round trip with 2 small children and nothing to show for it! My son is 3 and I know how gutted he would be if this happened, poor kids
I hope you get your money back and manage to rebook!!
And definitely give the “friends” a bit of space for a while before deciding whether it’s a friendship worth trying to salvage.

I'd be so embarrassed if I had behaved like your friends that I would have offered the money before you asked. It is often not just the money, it is also the fact that these things have to be booked quite a bit in advance- often tickets sell out. Perhaps if they haven't offered without being asked i would probably question the friendship anyway.

@FeloniusGru

This is awful! Obviously £62 is a lot of money to waste but I think the worst part of this is that you had a 2.5 hour round trip with 2 small children and nothing to show for it! My son is 3 and I know how gutted he would be if this happened, poor kids I hope you get your money back and manage to rebook!! And definitely give the “friends” a bit of space for a while before deciding whether it’s a friendship worth trying to salvage.

Yes, point out the time on the journey & the kids' disappointed, OP.

Glad you're sticking to your guns!