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To be furious and upset with friends- what do we do
496

0verth1inker · 26/11/2021 12:10

I’ll try and keep this brief.

We (me, DH and DC age 4 and 2.5) were meeting friends (couple with DC age 8 months) at a Christmas light walk through thing around 1 hour 15 from where we live last Sunday eve at 4:30pm.
They booked tickets I transferred money (£62)
We get there at 4:25, message saying we are here will wait in car so we can all go in together as you have tickets
Response 4:35 ‘so sorry running late! We left about 45 mins ago won’t be long’
Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.
They Arrive 5:15. None of us allowed in as we have missed our slot.
We are raging, kids are crying we all take the bloody long journey home having to get a Maccies to cheer kids up.
We message asking for the money back, they say it’s ‘just one of those things, ridiculous they wouldn’t let us in’

They’re good friends but I am raging. It’s entirely their fault, they are v PFB and he woke up late from his nap then wanted a super long feed which is why they were late. How do I ask again, and firmly? They are unreasonable right??

OP's posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

ancientgran · 26/11/2021 13:01

£62 is alot to loose for most young families. I'm not sure I'd want to be friends with them anymore. Your poor kids hanging about and poor you it must have been a real let down.

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PipeOfPringles · 26/11/2021 13:01

I can't imagine me or literally anyone I know not saying "just go on in without us".

They're mad not to do that when they were clearly not going to get there anywhere near "on time".

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Ilovecaviar · 26/11/2021 13:01

Keep pestering them, ridiculous situation, they should refund you.

However had I have been in the same scenario I would’ve approached the staff and said they are running late and have the tickets at which point they would’ve told you if you wouldn’t be able to get in if too late and then you should’ve been able to give the booking details to get in yourselves.

I am a bit surprised that the venue didn’t show a bit of grace tbh.

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EllieLucy · 26/11/2021 13:02

I'd consider the friendship already over! I don't have friends who treat me badly. So I'd persue the money.

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Yogaandcocoa · 26/11/2021 13:02

Even if the venue had let you in, why should you all have had to wait around so long with young children?? They still would have ruined it

Interested to see what their response is but they are entirely in the wrong here and I wouldn't be able to let it go.

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Nidan2Sandan · 26/11/2021 13:02

I would be way beyond furious. It's so selfish, they only considered themselves and not you..

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FilledSoda · 26/11/2021 13:03

You're just right.

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Boood · 26/11/2021 13:03

Wow, that’s one friendship I’d be ok with losing if they refuse to acknowledge that they’re in the wrong. What a pair of arseholes.

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HPFA · 26/11/2021 13:03

@Feedingthebirds1

Rang x 2 eventually answer, asked if they will send us the e tickets so we can get in. ‘No no we are 10 mins away’
DC getting bored, wound up, want to go in. Text them asking to send tickets.

Anybody else wondering if there actually were any tickets?

Yes. Can't think of any sensible reason for not sending them on.
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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 26/11/2021 13:03

If you don’t persist with asking for the money back the friendship is pretty much over, if you do push and ask for money back the friendship is pretty much over….I’d rather have some cash!

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MichelleScarn · 26/11/2021 13:03

Wonder if they were wanting you to go with them so you could be an unofficial photographer for them?.. (speaking from experience!)

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LizzieSiddal · 26/11/2021 13:03

They really were controlling and rude not to send the e-tickets to you. Glad you’ve asked for your money back.

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Sexnotgender · 26/11/2021 13:04

Not sending you your tickets when you asked us outrageous. Because they didn’t want you to start without them? Selfish arseholes. I’d push them for my money back.

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BootsScootsAndToots · 26/11/2021 13:04

Oh wow. That is shocking. I've commented on here before about a friend who was massively late to a Christmas dinner (a week before Christmas) and how as far as dh was concerned, he was done with them.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back in a long list of things for dh TBF.

I really hope your friends understand at least what they've done and accept responsibility. I doubt you'll get your money back though.

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MaggieFS · 26/11/2021 13:04

Bloody hell that's so selfish not to have sent the tickets. I'm sure I was flakey with my PFB but there's no way I wouldn't have sent the tickets and said crack on without us.
I hope you're able to rebook.

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Crumblinginside · 26/11/2021 13:04

I hope they give you the money so you can do something nice with it. Flowers

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KatherineJaneway · 26/11/2021 13:05

Did you see the tickets?

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AnneLovesGilbert · 26/11/2021 13:05

I’d be massively pissed off.

They’re completely unreasonable so I can’t see it being resolved well but you’re right to pursue it. Inconsiderate arseholes.

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melj1213 · 26/11/2021 13:06

As someone on not much more than NMW £62 is a large chunk of money - its almost a days work for me- that I could not afford to just write off. Especially at this time of year and especially not to someone who seems to think it is acceptable to waste my time, hold my tickets hostage and then refuse to give me my money for something they made me miss.

OP if they don't respond positively to your request for reimbursement for the tickets I would be kicking up a huge fuss and everyone we know would be informed of their behaviour - I would rather lose a "friendship" with CFs who think nothing of taking my money and then purposely leaving my family without the experience we had paid for than just write off a decent chunk of money.

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Laiste · 26/11/2021 13:07

I hope they respond properly to that message.

If they don't i'd follow it up with

''GIVE US OUR FUCKING MONEY BACK''

It might mean the end of the friendship, but frankly they're treating you like shite so .......

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TheEleventhMonth · 26/11/2021 13:07

They definitely need to reimburse you. Morally that's the right thing to do.

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RampantIvy · 26/11/2021 13:07

I am furious on your behalf. What a shabby way to treat friends. I would be stepping back from this friendship, especially if they won't refund the money.

Is it the winter illuminations at YWP by any chance? We went last year, and they were amazing.

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Goldenbear · 26/11/2021 13:08

Are they wealthy? I am just thinking I have experience of booking an extra ticket for theatre, events etc for a certain friend couple and they let us down quite a bit and don't take up the tickets. They are really wealthy so I think they don't think anything of it they just say to offer them to others. It is frustrating to say the least. If your friends are suggesting it is one of those things then is it because the amount isn't much to them?

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pinkgin85 · 26/11/2021 13:09

Awful people, if they still refuse to refund then I can't imagine you'll be able to get pat it and move on? I know I wouldnt be able to so the friendship is already pretty much dead, and I think in the long run you'll be better off.
Can't believe someone would actually refuse to hand over tickets!

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Earwigworries · 26/11/2021 13:10

I think you are right to ask them to reimburse you - but everyone seems to be assuming they have the money to give you - they might not . I wouldn’t keep asking - you’ve asked twice . In future make sure you are in control of your own tickets

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