To say fuck it and give them picnic food?

[Blahdyblahbla]

My dc are a nightmare at home in relation to food. They eat well at the childminders house, but with me and grandparents they just refuse anything vaguely like a hot meal (unless of course its nuggets and chips).

I'm losing the will, I plan and cook nutritious meals without too much repetition, half killing myself to make the said meal available throughout the evening to accommodate everyone's activities.

Most meals get rejected, they'd rather starve than try something they don't like the look of.
They both will reliably eat packed lunch/ picnic type food.

AIBU to say sod it and let them have a spread every evening for the next few months, just so I can drop the evening meal from my mental load? Or will it just make things worse?
They are 2 and 5.

Picnic food is fine if it is nutritious.

Home made hummus, carrot and cucumber sticks, tomatoes and wholemeal bread for example.

Do what ever you feel
You need to to stop making meal times a war zone ! Just give them whatever you feel is balanced in a picnic style food and have a nice meal . Maybe continue to cook for yourself and let them share but don’t push it .
I have an extremely picky one and 2 that are like hoovers ! It’s not worth the fight ,

From a personal point of view being told what to eat and having pressure put upon you to eat is rarely a positive experience. I’m guessing it’s not they don’t like the food if they eat it at the childminders more a play for power , so take it away from them .

It is extremely stressful having picky eaters and they do not always just grow out if it as mine is now 11! However after trying literally every approach under the sun I could find I found indifference the best ! They do eat more things now and things I don’t like ! That other people have introduced them too .

@hibbledibble but OP wants to do this to avoid cooking and making things. Its fine for the occasional night to have some carrots, bread, ham and cheese, but not every night which this could easily become.

Actually I have to add:
Make a point of always having to taste.
Be happy with extremely small portions.
Use the carrot and stick simultaneously:
No movie, pc, tablet etc if being difficult and something he really likes after a period of good eating, say a month.
Never ever force to "finish the plate" but be happy with a quarter or a third or even less.
Start their plate portions of really small and build up.
Don't stress, if one day you don't feel like it just give them a picknick meal.

Unless they eat crudités it is harder to get veg into them in picnic style. I would make what you want if they eat it great if not have an ‘alternative’ available which is a healthy version of what they will eat. My eldest went through this phase, our alternative was cheese sandwiches, apple and grapes. He eats what we eat now.

I have no idea why we force feed children "I cook what I want and they must eat it" why do you get a choice and they don't! My husband and I often fancy different meals. Make what your children like.

Haven’t RTFT so this has possibly been mentioned, but one of those “feed your family” type programmes said that many kids will try more foods when it’s an option on the table rather than on their plates, so serve-yourself meals, and just letting them get on with it. Talk about something else and don’t mention what they are/aren’t eating. I guess taking that approach could turn anything into a “picnic”. They were helping a family with very fussy children who astounded them by trying all sorts of things they’d sworn off! Could’ve been for tv effect but worth a try?

@Skybooks because they are children and would happily eat ice cream every night if they could choose.

[quote julieca]@Skybooks because they are children and would happily eat ice cream every night if they could choose.[/quote]
OP mentions giving her children picnic food not ice cream.

Sounds fine to me. Could you mix it in with easy meals like scrambled egg on toast. Avocado on toast or beans on toast loaded with cheese? Or pizzas home made ?

@Skybooks you say children should be able to choose what they fancy like adults. I am pointing out that does not work.

Never an option in my house. You eat what you’re cooked and that’s your lot
If not you don’t eat.
It’s a long time until breakfast…..

They sound like they're eating their main meal at the Childminder so they won't want another full meal. As long as you know they're eating decent nutritious and healthy food there I wouldn't worry. I would check they're not being overfed there though. Portion sizes at that age are tiny. Your idea of picnic food sounds wonderful. Try to get them to eat proper meals with you at the weekends instead; and get them to help as often if they see what goes into food, the more willing they are to eat it! Mine hated sandwiches but would happily eat finger food and is still happiest with bread, ham and tomatoes!

You mention making the meal available around everyone’s activities… do they do a lot? Is it possible they’re tired in the evening and that’s partly why they don’t want to eat? Otherwise I agree with going with the picnic food for most nights for a while and then reintroducing some other stuff. Good luck.

Do you eat together? If yes give them the picnic food but prepare yourself a nice hot meal and leave it open for them to try if they wish. They may be more willing to try if not being pressured to and see you eating it. Also not individually plating the food and putting on serving dishes at the table might help so they can choose what they want

#regularnamechange
They won't starve, might be a bit hungry but won't starve.

Try doing jacket potato with different toppings they can choose and serve themselves. Or a sale bar. Fajitas as someone said. Easy dinners they can feel in control of and it can be fun. Melted chocolate with fresh fruit to dip in. Don't kill yourself making a complicated hit meal. They will grow out of it. Do whatever works for you.

I was this child age around 5-7. I remember hating the pressure of being asked to eat. I only wanted to eat banana or jam sandwiches, crisps and apple juice. So my mum let me do that rather than starve. I grew out of it and by adult totally normal eater. If my kids are like this I'm just going to let them eat what makes them happy. Some food better than stress

Op you just go what you've gotta do. At least they will have food in their bellies. Picnic food is a better healthy choice over nuggets and chips.
I've done it a number of times before just to have 1 night of peace without the nagging

What sort of food routine do they have at the childminder? I just ask because my son’s nursery feed him lunch a substantial tea at around 4 so I realised that cooking a ‘hot meal’ when he got home was a complete waste of time because he just wasn’t hungry. He has fruit and yoghurt on nursery nights now.

Do they like hot food if it’s dry and separate? Baked potatoes, cheese toasties, gnocchi with a dip etc.?

There’s a middle ground between picnic food and spaghetti bolognese. I would do a mix of picnic food and also some more challenging items. So a few large hot pasta shapes, with crudites and a dip. Next day diy cold fajitas (chicken strips, peppers, salsa, cheese and wraps) etc. You might find they eat plenty of simple meals but just don’t want it all hot and mixed together.

My 4yo is like this. 1yo not much better - but she just doesn't have a big appetite unless it's mashed potato.

This week I've let the 4yo have packed lunch for dinner every day. I can even make it in advance so she's not pestering me for food while I'm making her actual dinner. Its in a packed lunch box and she loves it!

I've told her that it's for school days only, so we'll see what happens at the weekend.

@Skybooks

I have no idea why we force feed children "I cook what I want and they must eat it" why do you get a choice and they don't! My husband and I often fancy different meals. Make what your children like.

It's because until they are a certain age we are responsible for making sure they get fed a balanced diet, and are introduce them to a range of foods so they will hopefully be able to feed themselves a balanced diet when older.

That doesn't mean not taking their preferences into account. Just means taking a bit of gentle authority and guiding them to try new things.

Someone hit the nail on the head when talking about their kid finally realising the difference between stuff they liked, and stuff they didn't dislike. For my family that was the main thing - getting them used to eating things that they didn't actually dislike, but just weren't their favourite one or two things.

Absolutely, just do it. Mine went through this phase and loves a proper roast, chilli etc now.

Also, it's about getting food into them and not turning it into a thing 😊

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