To say fuck it and give them picnic food?

[Blahdyblahbla]

My dc are a nightmare at home in relation to food. They eat well at the childminders house, but with me and grandparents they just refuse anything vaguely like a hot meal (unless of course its nuggets and chips).

I'm losing the will, I plan and cook nutritious meals without too much repetition, half killing myself to make the said meal available throughout the evening to accommodate everyone's activities.

Most meals get rejected, they'd rather starve than try something they don't like the look of.
They both will reliably eat packed lunch/ picnic type food.

AIBU to say sod it and let them have a spread every evening for the next few months, just so I can drop the evening meal from my mental load? Or will it just make things worse?
They are 2 and 5.

@Chely

Like in beauty and the beast. Go ahead and starve!!!!

🤣 that was one of our favourite lines from the film re-enacted by me and my siblings ad Infinitum. Now picturing OP roaring this at her kids at the table.

Often did this with mine - will they eat veg crudités or apple slices etc?

At that age yes, tapas style food is perfect so dc can pick and choose and eat what they want.

Does the CM do dinner?

Op it's actually what your supposed to do when dc become picky because offering choice.. Letting them help themselves is what your supposed to do.
You must be extremely careful around food and forcing food or with holding it.

In Germany and Austria, the traditional evening meal is called "Abendbrot" (evening bread). It literally involves laying out sliced bread, ham/salami, cheese, simple veggies like cherry tomatoes or cucumbers, butter and maybe some pickles or cream cheese spread if you're feeling fancy. Then everyone takes what they like and make themselves open-faced sandwiches. Basically a simpler version of a charcuterie board.

Feed them what they'll eat. You can all sit round the table together. Honestly we've all been there

[quote Blahdyblahbla]@regularbutnamechangedd mine would too, they have wills of steel!
Is a sandwich, bit of fruit, lump of cheese, a bit of hummus any less valid than a spag bol I wonder? It just feels "wrong" and not what I know to eat a picnic for every meal, and I can't really explain why [/quote]
No, it's a perfectly nutritious meal.

My kids love a picnic tea, I do sandwiches, veg sticks, piece of fruit bit of cheese and a yogurt usually. There's veg, protein, carbs and fat. It's not like you're giving them a sausage roll and a bag of crisps!

@Blahdyblahbla

At the childminders my eldest hero worships an older child, so will eat what they eat....I can't replicate that at home short of borrowing the child Actually lots of you have thrown up solutions that will work like omelette, beans on toast, some middle ground just to keep me happy they've not completely disengaged from hot food. Even the thought of this feels so liberating, no more pretending to ignore them not eating, or breaking the golden rules and cajoling them into eating with offerings of puddings etc. Tomorrow will be a new start

borrow the child i did similar when my child would not get his hair cut.

More seriously..... i have a child with sensory processing issues and ASD and very severe food issues. it is truly exhausting. I get fed up so deeply. today he had buttered toast and tinned spagetti. he ate it. Job;s done. His food isseus keeps me up at night- seriously and literally.

2 & 5? Just do it. Have some nights where you involve the eldest with cooking, or mix things up with their “safe” foods. Do nuggets and chips with carrot sticks on the side, try cucumber, mix it up a bit. Build it up slowly. I remember this so well. My DS was like this but he’s 8 now and won’t everything BUT he will try most things now without drama. I’m actually so happy with his progress and o don’t worry at all know. He can also acknowledge the difference between not liking foods and disliking foods and will eat what we eat now even when he’s not a fan (we don’t do this often ofc) My two year old is a sod and has picky bits most days but I’m cooler about it now as I feel confident he’ll come out of it.

Oh and never ever turn it into a battle, distract them if nessecsry I had to use tablets or TV to get one child to eat.

At that age soup is great, when it is pureed to a cream.

A little bowl of soup with picnic bits won't harm them.

I stressed far too much.

If I could go back, I wouldn't.

A small cup of soup is great, packed with veg.

Remember their tummy is the size of their fist.
They don't need much.

Of course it’s five! Unless you’re serving scotch eggs and white bread ham sandwiches there’s nothing nutritionally wrong with a picnic-style choose-your-own-combo tea. Vary the things available as choices and it’s all good. Maybe add baked potatoes or soup to the offering sometimes too.

If you were serving this every day for lunch you wouldn’t even consider it being weird.

I do this with my son sometimes as others said there are plenty of healthy picnic foods.
I figure if he eats a hot dinner at lunch time at nursery he doesnt need a second 'dinner'.

Personally I dont want to serve everyone different food but my very young DC had high tea such as little sandwiches, boiled egg, crumpets, cake, fruit etc when tiny or very tired.
I think they get so exhausted its better to feed earlier and parents have a civilsed meal later.
If they eat at the childminder then its likely that they are tired in the evening and its better to cut your losses.
Im a "this what we are having person " though so zero fussing or whining tolerated.
There needs to be a break from the stress for all of you so I would do something quick and easy .

Maybe get over the Mumsnet obsession with a hot meal? Food doesn't become more nutritious if it is heated.

it;s not just an obsession with hot food though. (I have been very involved with a child with food issues for 12 yhears so claim some expertise).

It's about everything it represents. Feeding your child is a fundamental primal part of parenting and being able to say you are parenting and mothering well. It's about capturing everything we know and are told about good nutrition and wanting the best for our child. And it;'s about being a family and engaging in something deeply cultural as having family meals and passing on food traditions. So when this is problematic it triggers something deeper in us.

My friend swears by toasties. They can pick their fillings out of bits in the fridge, she shoves in some hidden veg, then puts them in the toastie maker.

Hot, satisfying, minimal prep.

half killing myself to make the said meal available throughout the evening to accommodate everyone's activities

This is not doing you or them any favours.
The tension must be very off putting tbh.

Cheese on toast, crumpets, marmite and butter sandwiches, boiled egg and soldiers with some veg sticks and cherry toms followed by a piece of cake, yogurt or fruit is absolutely fine and takes minutes.

@choli

Maybe get over the Mumsnet obsession with a hot meal? Food doesn't become more nutritious if it is heated.

Yawn.

I’m so sick of hearing the normal practice of having a hot family meal in the evening described as a “MN obsession”. It really isn’t. It not a MN thing and it’s not an obsession. It’s been a normal part of family life in the UK to have a warm meal in the evening for a very long time. Anyone who claims they “don’t understand” it is lying. For weird reasons I can’t fathom tbh. I mean who the hell hasn’t experienced hot meals most evenings for most of their life?

Will they eat a stew? Could whack a simple stew in the slow cooker so it isn't big effort on your part and ready straight away so they can faff and it matters less.

Or we bought a soup maker. Ready in 25 mins and super smooth. Would go well with picnic food and satisfies it being something warm and hides all kinds of veg.

I'd probably do picnic food on days time is tight and easy hot meals a couple of days

This week I refused to buy any shopping until the kids & dh planned the meals. I’m fed up of cooking things for them to reject it. I totally feel your pain. I would do picnic teas & ask them to get involved in some of the meals. Good luck.

@MaryAndGerryLivingInDerry
"Yawn.

I’m so sick of hearing the normal practice of having a hot family meal in the evening described as a “MN obsession”. It really isn’t. It not a MN thing and it’s not an obsession. It’s been a normal part of family life in the UK to have a warm meal in the evening for a very long time. Anyone who claims they “don’t understand” it is lying. For weird reasons I can’t fathom tbh. I mean who the hell hasn’t experienced hot meals most evenings for most of their life?"

ooo oo I know the answer to this one! me!!!

Food actually does become more nutritious after it's heated/cooked - but only in comparison with raw food, which is harder to digest, so your body doesn't get as much out of it. But bread is baked, for instance, so it's not about the meal still being hot when you eat it.

There are lots of simple child-friendly pick'n'mix style foods, though. You can do very basic "mini pizzas" - any base with some cheese and tomato or similar topping, then grill it - or pancakes with fruit on, or a spoonful of pasta salad, little bowl of tomato soup to dip toast in ... the idea of having a load of little picnic-style options like that is fine.

Nuggets and chips is real food though, right? I mean I would call that a success.

If you haven't seen it before this video is worth watching to the end.