To say fuck it and give them picnic food?

[Blahdyblahbla]

My dc are a nightmare at home in relation to food. They eat well at the childminders house, but with me and grandparents they just refuse anything vaguely like a hot meal (unless of course its nuggets and chips).

I'm losing the will, I plan and cook nutritious meals without too much repetition, half killing myself to make the said meal available throughout the evening to accommodate everyone's activities.

Most meals get rejected, they'd rather starve than try something they don't like the look of.
They both will reliably eat packed lunch/ picnic type food.

AIBU to say sod it and let them have a spread every evening for the next few months, just so I can drop the evening meal from my mental load? Or will it just make things worse?
They are 2 and 5.

Yes! This is a great idea. I used to do it every Friday with mine. Some ideas include: carrots, cucumber, peppers, halved cherry tomatoes, breadsticks, a pasta sauce dip, cubes of cheese or a ripped up mozzarella ball, chopped up slices of ham or chicken, a bowl of plain pasta or spaghetti or a cut up lightly toasted wrap, olives, halved boiled eggs, precooked meatballs…basically anything you need to get rid of in the fridge. I used to put a picnic mat in the middle of the living room and call it lounge picnic. They absolutely loved it.

Other ideas include - a bowl of sweetcorn, raw mushrooms and defrosted frozen peas.

@Daisy829

This week I refused to buy any shopping until the kids & dh planned the meals. I’m fed up of cooking things for them to reject it. I totally feel your pain. I would do picnic teas & ask them to get involved in some of the meals. Good luck.

I love this idea!

I also don't think hot meals are an obsession for anyone on MN or otherwise. I live in England now but grew up elsewhere and have moved around a lot. Most countries I have lived in, parents cook meals for their dcs. I don't think any of them have an obsession though.

All, not most!

I think it’s sensible. Meals don’t need to be hot, I’ve always loved a chicken salad and it never incorporates hot food. Neither have my favourite pasta dishes. Cooked food doesn’t have to mean hot food. There are so many options with a picnic type meal and I would say generally easier to incorporate things they like or might be more inclined to try rather than trying to get them to taste and eat a hot meal before it goes cold. They’re very young still so I’d go with it.

My teens still aren't keen on 'mixed up' food like a casseroles. That age do seem to prefer everything separated and have a low tolerance to any kind of heat. I found picnic food worked well too, lots of bright crunchy chopped up raw veg, cooked cold meats, sausages, boiled egg, nice bread, cold pasta etc Also I think there is an asserting control aspect which letting them help themselves like a picnic helps with too.

As long as they are eating something they’ll be fine. Mine lived on grapes, cheese, mini sausages and cucumber for a bit. You will have many more battles, let this one go. X

One of my best memories growing up, was my dad packing the table with bowls full of different veggies all chopped/diced/sliced, cheeses, (and before I became vegetarian) meats and just plonking a loaf of bread on the table and telling us to make our own sandwiches, we used to make all sorts of odd ones, but loved doing it and because we could make our own, we always used to eat them x

Mine started to be picky eaters and I was sick of it. Try a plain margarita pizza and then have lots of bowls of other things and let them build it themselves. Mexican taco's with all the dips. Give them the job of beating, squishing the life out of advocacy for the quacamole. Warm up the bread wraps, just before you dish up. Let them pick and build it themselves and then eat it. It's messy, but fun. My kids ate if they enjoyed the process. Apple crumbles were a hit. Then move onto, getting them to assist helping make something with you. Chicken strips, let em dunk it in the egg, bread crumbs etc. you fry it, then just work your way along. Mine all eat absolutely anything now and will give anything a go. But they always join in. My boy is now 8 and uses one of those choppy machines, that cuts things like onions, by whacking it down, tiring for him, but it's helping me at the same time. Get em involved it's not as time consuming as you will think.

I think it will make it worse and you could be doing this for many years.

[quote Blahdyblahbla]@regularbutnamechangedd mine would too, they have wills of steel!
Is a sandwich, bit of fruit, lump of cheese, a bit of hummus any less valid than a spag bol I wonder? It just feels "wrong" and not what I know to eat a picnic for every meal, and I can't really explain why [/quote]
It's fine. It has the same nutritional value, and I know lots of people who feed their little children like these, because they are happy with it. I am all for fun finger food..

plan and cook nutritious meals without too much repetition,
Is this maybe the problem? That it's different every time. Mine definitely prefer the same, known "safe" meals over and over. I can get away with one or maybe two different/new meals a week but it will take several repetitions for them to accept them without moaning. And then they beg for their favourites for the next few weeks.

Are you me? You are certainly describing my life (with added allergies to contend with here).

I do picnic tea at least once a week sometimes twice when I can no longer stand the whingeing

Follow Kids Eat In Color on Instagram, I love the ideas on there.

Go for it, OP. The things that count here are a) nutrition and b) your sanity and it sounds like both could be helped by picnic food. No reason why what you've described can't be just as nutritious as a hot meal.

Solid Starts has great advice, they really recommend ‘picnics’, a board in the middle with lots of choices. ‘Safe foods’ you know they’ll like and one or two more challenging foods.

If you look at their Instagram story reels, they have a five year old with severe picky eating (would only eat eight foods) and shows how they are working to change this. They employ leading professionals to that specialise in childhood eating, some from Stanford.

It has helped our family immensely and our daughter has gone from being under the care of the dietician at the hospital for weight loss as a result of picky eating to thriving and eating all sorts of foods.

I feel your pain. Will they eat porridge? I’ve been doing that for my youngest, I figure it ticks the box of hot meal and is nutritious. He will have a banana with it

Our best low effort meal was an idea from here. Savoury pancakes. 3 tablespoons of milk, 3 tablespoons of flour and an egg and then the kids get to choose what yo put in them, they often like ham cheese sweet corn etc. It makes three small thick pancakes. Lovely and takes5 minutes tops. And best of all the kids can do it themselves very easily

Interesting that they eat what they’re given at the child minders but not for indulgent parents and grandparents isn’t it? Saying that, if they’re eating healthily once a day with said childminder I think picnic food in the evening is fine. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@PinkSyCo

Interesting that they eat what they’re given at the child minders but not for indulgent parents and grandparents isn’t it? Saying that, if they’re eating healthily once a day with said childminder I think picnic food in the evening is fine. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why would the picnic food the OP has described be unhealthy?

[quote Blahdyblahbla]@regularbutnamechangedd mine would too, they have wills of steel!
Is a sandwich, bit of fruit, lump of cheese, a bit of hummus any less valid than a spag bol I wonder? It just feels "wrong" and not what I know to eat a picnic for every meal, and I can't really explain why [/quote]
I give my two year old a plate like this most days because I know he'll eat it. As long as they're getting nutritious food I don't think it matters what form it comes in

@PinkSyCo

Interesting that they eat what they’re given at the child minders but not for indulgent parents and grandparents isn’t it? Saying that, if they’re eating healthily once a day with said childminder I think picnic food in the evening is fine. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I always found my very small DC ate well at breakfast and lunch and due to tiredness it tailed off a bit in the evening, hence feeding them a high tea at 5ish rather than expecting them to eat with us later. I wonder if part of it is tiredness Op? Expecting a 2 and 5 year old to wait until adult dinner time might be part of the issue ? In fairness you havent said what time they eat.

I remember it being a rush to get mine to eat as DS2 ( age 3/4) would face plant onto his plate sound asleep if it was too late

Perhaps partly tiredness/ partly hangry- quick, familiar, comforting food fits the bill.

Why would the picnic food the OP has described be unhealthy?

Yes I thought someone might question this. I didn’t really mean healthy as in nutritionally, but couldn’t be bothered to go in to the importance of them practicing eating with cutlery and also learning that they can’t always have exactly what they want food wise.

I always found my very small DC ate well at breakfast and lunch and due to tiredness it tailed off a bit in the evening, hence feeding them a high tea at 5ish rather than expecting them to eat with us later.

They’re not too tired to eat nuggets and chips though.

What don't they like about your food? Do you add herbs, stock, is it full of flavour?
Mine hated processed foods and always wanted what I'd cooked.
I've always believed they won't starve, if you keep giving in they know they have the upper hand.
Maybe involve them in making dinner?
Good luck