No thank you, no more gifts

[SaturdaySummer]

I have given around 10/11 big bags for life FULL of John Lewis and Next clothes, toys, a play mat, a bath seat, an inflatable chair etc. To someone my dad works with. The lad is early 20s and on an apprentice wage and his gf is a student so they would struggle to get everything on such limited income. All the clothes were excellent condition, some with labels on still. I washed and ironed everything. These were things my son had outgrown and we are lucky to have been able to afford everything he needed so I didn't mind helping someone else out. My friend also gave them more items - about 4 bags for life with again, clothes with labels on etc. I didn't give these things expecting anything in return but the couple have not even sent a thank you card of text - they have literally had thousands of pounds worth of stuff. AIBU to give things to charity in future now instead of this couple as I really feel they have been incredibly rude and ungrateful to not even acknowledge what they have been given

Ignorant pigs, indeed!

Obviously these low paid types are not fit to lick your naice expensive boots.

These tinkers don't know how to behave when one gives them lots of naice cast offs from the mistresses table.

Best to never gift poor people anything because they simply don't show enough gratitude.

You should check the income level of the next recipients of your Bags For Life of Magical Wonder. Make sure they have enough class and education to sufficiently kiss your rear in praise.

After all, you deserve at least a news report of your great kindness in the local news.

Make sure to get your job title and the value of your house in there, so everyone knows how naice your gifts used crap is worth.

@regularbutnamechangedd

Nonsense *@JinglingHellsBells* OP needn't have mentioned where any of the things came from, and it's absolutely irrelevant. One man's John Lewis is another man's Mori. Is another man's Primark.

Nonsense to you too.

It matters.

The OP gave things that were quality items and had cost her a lot.

It doesn't affect the principle though of saying thanks.
In RL I bet 99% of people would agree with the OP.

On MN many posters make a profession out of being contrary and being arsey over anything.

They've probably sold it.

@user1493494961

They've probably sold it.

if they have the energy to sell it then good luck to them

* People are ungrateful bastards I find @SaturdaySummer*
I hate people that are rude, they will likely raise an equally ungrateful brat. Definitely give to a baby bank or charity chop next time.**

^This

They've probably sold it.

Oh heck, don't say that 😄

MondieBee

You sound horrible to be honest, I mean "ignorant pigs" wtf? Only someone nasty would say that.

^They are ignorant pigs, can’t even be bothered to say thank you. Ignorant and rude.

Do you think the charity shop or mother and baby homes would send you a thank you card?
You seem to be putting an awful lot of emphasis on the card.

Manners coat nothing, as my husband always says.

Even if they were a bit overwhelmed, a quick text to say 'thanks, we have all we need to be going on with now' shouldn't be too much to ask.

You're not being particularly gracious yourself, they have a new baby, they don't have time to lick your boots because you deigned to throw them a few bags of second hand stuff.

As you gave it to them a bit at a time, why did you still give them more when they hadn’t said thank you for the things you had already given them?

If it was important that they said thank you, which isn’t unreasonable, then you shouldn’t have kept giving them more. It makes no sense.

To be fair it wounding occur to some people to send a letter . They are probably of thr generation that don't unless promoted and maybe it wasn't normal in their childhood either !
Maybe they don't like your taste or have the room for it . Someone gave me loads of stuff I didn't like and I have it to a womens refuge ! I did thank her though and told her I had too much !

I didn't give these things expecting anything in return

Well this is a lie.

@SmellyOldOwls

You're not being particularly gracious yourself, they have a new baby, they don't have time to lick your boots because you deigned to throw them a few bags of second hand stuff.

Not asking for them to lick my boots. Only mentioned where things were from so people didn't assume I had thrown in old, holy clothes that were not in good condition. Genuinely stunned how many people think it's fine to receive ANYTHING without a common decency, basic manners 'thank you' but I guess it's a case of each to their own I gave every person who gave my son a gift, a handwritten thank you card so feel I'm within my rights to be annoyed but honestly after seeing the comments I'm starting to think that maybe I'm just old fashioned in my views. Thanks for those who gave their opinions

@Merryoldgoat

I didn't give these things expecting anything in return

Well this is a lie.

SatSummer asked me to post the reply above. She is logging off. Comments became personal and attacking. Said I'd pass it on. Thanks

Or name change fail?

SatSummer asked me to post the reply above. She is logging off. Comments became personal and attacking. Said I'd pass it on. Thanks

🙄🙄🙄

Did she now? Right.

Comments became honest & direct, and from the start, telling you, sorry SatSummer that you, sorry, she, is out of line being so deliberately nasty about someone because they didn't thank her in the way she expected for your, sorry, her, John Lewis wonder garments.

maybe I'm just old fashioned in my views.

Not old fashioned. Nasty & judgmental.

Isn't it enough knowing you've someone helped someone who's in a tight spot? Your indignation and disgust at not being thanked smacks of virtue signalling

I presume they said thanks to your dad. You sound like the type of person who gives just so poor lowly people can bow down to you in gratitude while you lord it over them. Have a word with yourself.

So you don't know this couple but expect them to write or call you? The guy thanked your dad and maybe on the last occasion he was busy at the time, or maybe he just wondered where it would end. Not everyone is raised to write thank you cards

I gave ds's huge brio wooden Thomas the Tank engine set to one of dhs friends children who had a child very young, she sent a lovely card and small box of chocolates saying how amazing it was and how much she appreciated it. She sent a Christmas card with a photo each year she had it. It has since been passed to other children in her extended family and each time I got a little card and a photo to say the set was still going and how much all the kids loved it.

Obviously that is the other extreme but appreciated and nice to know it is still being enjoyed . If the couple you gave to couldn't even send a thank you text/message through fb I would find someone else to give to.

*As you gave it to them a bit at a time, why did you still give them more when they hadn’t said thank you for the things you had already given them?

If it was important that they said thank you, which isn’t unreasonable, then you shouldn’t have kept giving them more. It makes no sense.*

Right. If OP wanted a thank you and they didn’t give it the first time, she could have not given the second, third and whatever number of bags she had given then after if it was so important. She actually makes herself look worse imo with the name-calling and how upset she is. I can understand wanting a thank you but being this upset over it to the point of name-calling doesn’t come off as someone who is just giving out of the goodness of their heart.

If I give something away, it’s because I want to get rid of it and/or too lazy to sell it. I’ll thank someone for taking it off my hands tbh then dwell on them not saying thank you.

*than dwell

@JinglingHellsBells…ermm I was commenting on this post ! Weirdly I do thank people but I can understand why sometimes this doesn’t happen and I certainly don’t refer to people as ignorant pigs if I have not been personally thanked ! Is that ok or would you like me to elaborate more ?