Neighbour wants to "share" my driveway. I... don't

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Parking one, buckle up.
I live in a 3 storey Victorian townhouse, my flat is at the bottom, and above me is a 2 story house owned by Snooty Neighbour. I rent, if that's relevant.

The driveway belongs to my flat and the steps up to SNs front door are about halfway up my drive.

Its a double drive and Paul-Next-Door, who owns all 3 storeys of his house, has the other half of the drive.

I bumped in to SN last week and she commented that she is struggling to find parking on the street now that I've moved in. The flat was empty for a while and she was parking on the drive. She then said she's noticed that I'm out for long stretches of time so possibly she could use my drive when I'm out. I pointed out that she wouldn't know when I'm going to be back, so she wouldn't know when to move her car. She then suggested that in that case I park on the street!

So it appears she is imaging some sort of first come first serve arrangement. It took me off guard a bit so I said I'd think about it. Obviously, I thought "no fucking chance"

Last night she caught me coming home and asked if I'd had the chance to think about it. I politely declined and explained that I don't really want to be searching for parking after a 12 hour shift so it doesn't work for me. She then suggested I message her my rota so she knows when she can use the drive, to make it "fair" and then let her know when I'm going to other places and when I'll be back.

Wtf!? I don't want to have to tell a random woman when I'm going to be home! I'm 35 years old, I don't even tell my mother that!

I probably didn't help the situation as I laughed when I said no to that. She then got huffy and started going on about me letting other cars park on the drive. Other cars being my DP, who I then park in front of and block in and Paul Next Door when he had a skip on his drive and asked me very nicely if he could park there for about 2 hours while he had a tyre changed. Neither of these things caused me any inconvenience.

The conversation ended up with her slinking off muttering about me being "unfair"

Bonkers.

I know I'm not being unreasonable really but her whole expectation that this was a great idea has me questioning myself just a tiny bit.

AIBU?

We had this exact issue but actually it was mirespresentation by our estate agent. We asked very very specifically if the driveway was private. Turns out the estate agent lied and in the deeds (as it transpired!) it was first come first served. Hopefully that isn’t the case here.
We ended up moving.

WTAF. She is bonkers. The only bit that is unreasonable from you is asking if you are being unreasonable and you definitely know you are not.
Well done for laughing and standing up for yourself. It really is the only way to go. As annoying as she is please stick to your guns and do not let her wear you down. An extremely firm NO on repeat is the only thing that is stopping her. 💐

She’s allowed to ask. But equally you are allowed to say no.

If she brings it up again, she needs reminding that she chose her property knowing it did not come with parking and you chose yours specifically because it did. And then ‘to be very clear, you cannot park on my drive, don’t ask me again.’

(We we’re renting so wouldn’t normally see the paperwork you would if you bought)

@EmotionalSupportBear

she's a CF.

I would email your landlord/letting agency about the exchange, and make it clear you've refused her permission too.. just to cover your ass in the event she decides to ignore you and parks there any way (which i don't think i'd put past her considering)

Do this too.

Firstly I'd tell her that you specifically chose that flat for the parking so she would have to heavily compensate you if she was to start using it.
Secondly, I'd speak to the landlord and ask for some sort of pop up parking bollard so she doesn't start sneakily using the drive and end up blocking you out.

If she'd been a bit brighter, she could have negotiated renting the drive from your landlord when the flat was empty. I suppose she enjoyed parking there for nothing & didn't think about what would happen afterwards - more fool her.

At least yours asked, out CF neighbour parked in it early morning as had already filled his other 3 drives up and the baya so needed ours as well apparently!

'No, she owns; the OP's first post says so, or did you miss that?'

Yes I obviously did miss it I do apologise.

I don't know, I'm all for being reasonable with neighbours and would allow her to park on the drive when i wasn't there, if allowing dp to use it and ndn to change his tyre there..

I’m not even sure you are in a position to give authority re. the driveway seeing that you rent the property. There will be a rental contract covering the house and land and that will also cover sub letting etc. Your landlord would not be happy at all if they knew you had (potentially) agreed a neighbour could partially lease the land.

How much was she offering to pay for the parking? If nothing, then what does she think you are getting out of the arrangement that seems to only suit her?

Yanbu! It is your space and the rent you pay reflects the fact that you have dedicated off street parking and don't have to fight for an on street space. Meanwhile the amount she pays for her home reflects the fact that she doesn't have this convenience and has to take her chances with what she can find.

It would be manifestly unfair for her to take the benefit of the parking you are paying for, just because she wants it. It is yours. If she wants dedicated off street parking she can move.

YANBU, end of the day you rent the drive. If she parks there, report to your landlord.

Tell her you don't need to be fair. It's your drive.

This^^

This was posted early on and is the best reply !

If she wants a driveway to park on she can look one up on internet and arrange to rent one full time. But she can't have yours!

So let Paul know as she's being an irritant hassling you about this

@phishy go away and stop trying to cause arguments with a stranger on the internet

If she asks again, tell her she needs to give you a set of keys to her home and say you'll be letting yourself in when you feel like it, but she doesn't need to worry because you'll make sure you're not in the same room she is so it shouldn't inconvenience her.

When she said ‘maybe you could park in the street’ despite the drive being yours to use I realised she will not love if she gets the chance to use it. Do not give her permission. She’ll park there and not move for you, not answer if you try to call or lock on her door and if you say you needed the drive ‘we’ll you told me I could use it’. It’s yours, there is no fair use for her or sharing something you solely own.

[quote MintyGreenDream]@phishy go away and stop trying to cause arguments with a stranger on the internet[/quote]
What are you on about?

Well done op at standing up to the cf. She sounds bonkers.

I would get a couple of cones and a sign "Strictly no parking .private property and put in the space..

She really has a nerve.

Don't even entertain it.

We have a dropped kerb in front of our house - was here when we moved in and was an attractive reason to buy this house rather than a basically identical one a couple of streets away with no dropped kerb. Parking is a nightmare on our road, but taking into account all of the local roads and the main road a tthe top, there is always somewhere you can park, just not always nice and convenient.

Anyway, next door neighbour - as we found out after we moved in, completely paved their front garden hoping to get permission for a dropped kerb, but were refused, so they have to rely on street parking. He drives a lot as part of his job and would often get home at 10.30pm or so, knock on our door and ask if he could park across our dropped kerb (effectively blocking us in) on the assurance he would be gone by 7am. I said yes to this a couple of times as they are otherwise good neighbours. In the end, one night when he knocked at 11pm - I said - and I regret it bitterly - if you're getting home this late and there is literally nowhere local AND you are gone by 7, don't worry about knocking.

Well, since that day, he has utterly taken the piss tbh and taken that kindness and limited permission and run a marathon with it - he parks his car blocking us in whenever he feels like it. Doesn't keep an eye out and move it when he can. I often have to go and knock (and knock, and knock) next door to get him to move his car when I need to go out.

So, I know you didn't ask for my tale of self-induced woe, but please learn from it.

I'm torn. On one hand, you are completely in the right and your neighbour upstairs has been very rude about you saying no.

On the other hand you haven't included a diagram. So...

@JaniieJones

'No, she owns; the OP's first post says so, or did you miss that?'

Yes I obviously did miss it I do apologise.

I don't know, I'm all for being reasonable with neighbours and would allow her to park on the drive when i wasn't there, if allowing dp to use it and ndn to change his tyre there..

DP is her DP, not just some neighbour. And ndn used it once for a couple of hours. How are those comparable?

Do you think this woman is being 'reasonable' in suggesting that if she's parked there and the OP comes back she should park on the street? Or in asking for the OP's rota so she knows when she's not around?
Or in saying it's 'unfair' that the OP wants full access to her own, not shared, private drive?

You have an odd idea of 'being reasonable'. You might get on well with this woman, I suppose.

OP, you should agree to her request.

Then add, “It’s £1k per week, with 3 years payment in advance please, no refunds possible”

CF indeed!

Op doesn't need to include a diagram MoiraNotRuby as it's her drive

Surely @MintyGreenDream that the shared drive is two spaces, so previously the neighbour and her neighbour's DS used the spaces. Now minty has passed neighbour uses 'their' space and minty uses the other one, meaning the neighbour's DS needs to find on-street parking?