Neighbour wants to "share" my driveway. I... don't

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Parking one, buckle up.
I live in a 3 storey Victorian townhouse, my flat is at the bottom, and above me is a 2 story house owned by Snooty Neighbour. I rent, if that's relevant.

The driveway belongs to my flat and the steps up to SNs front door are about halfway up my drive.

Its a double drive and Paul-Next-Door, who owns all 3 storeys of his house, has the other half of the drive.

I bumped in to SN last week and she commented that she is struggling to find parking on the street now that I've moved in. The flat was empty for a while and she was parking on the drive. She then said she's noticed that I'm out for long stretches of time so possibly she could use my drive when I'm out. I pointed out that she wouldn't know when I'm going to be back, so she wouldn't know when to move her car. She then suggested that in that case I park on the street!

So it appears she is imaging some sort of first come first serve arrangement. It took me off guard a bit so I said I'd think about it. Obviously, I thought "no fucking chance"

Last night she caught me coming home and asked if I'd had the chance to think about it. I politely declined and explained that I don't really want to be searching for parking after a 12 hour shift so it doesn't work for me. She then suggested I message her my rota so she knows when she can use the drive, to make it "fair" and then let her know when I'm going to other places and when I'll be back.

Wtf!? I don't want to have to tell a random woman when I'm going to be home! I'm 35 years old, I don't even tell my mother that!

I probably didn't help the situation as I laughed when I said no to that. She then got huffy and started going on about me letting other cars park on the drive. Other cars being my DP, who I then park in front of and block in and Paul Next Door when he had a skip on his drive and asked me very nicely if he could park there for about 2 hours while he had a tyre changed. Neither of these things caused me any inconvenience.

The conversation ended up with her slinking off muttering about me being "unfair"

Bonkers.

I know I'm not being unreasonable really but her whole expectation that this was a great idea has me questioning myself just a tiny bit.

AIBU?

I love this grin "yes, let's swap schedules so I can have a nice soak in your bath sometimes after a shift, it'll be great as it'll save me having to clean mine!"

I read this as nice soak in her bath after a shit!

@phishy no I'm good thanks

[quote MintyGreenDream]@phishy no I'm good thanks [/quote]
Didn’t ask you to do anything!

Send her links to properties with parking included. Then stop engaging..

Ohhh I remember your other thread! Tell her to do one. I will never understand people who choose to live somewhere that doesn't have the facilities they want/need and then just assume they can use other peoples.

We have a lovely big drive, shared with 3 other neighbours and everyone is v respectful, offers up parking spaces for visitors if we can etc. The families with children only tend to let their kids play in 'their' bit of the driveway so they are not on other people's property or getting in the way. However a woman who lives somewhere nearby has decided it's a great place for her little girl to play and brings her to our driveway to ride around on her scooter like it's a fucking play park. I've had several arguments with her, and the last one culminated in a lot of shouting as despite me explaining repeatedly that it's private property and offering to show her my deeds, and telling her all the other neighbours were pissed off about it as well, she kept saying she had a right to be there as she is a neighbour and it's a safe place for her child to ride her scooter. Some people are just stupid, some are just rude, and a combination of both is deadly.

Of course it's fair, you are paying for it
You know it, she knows it, she's just trying to play on your good manners to say yes to it
Bollocks to that

Laughing and saying no was the correct response.

If she wants a house with private parking, she is free to buy or rent one of her choosing. She has opted not to do that.

[quote TheUnexpectedPickle]@Smellymoo luckily I already had an inkling that she's a bit... eccentric- I had a previous thread in which she asked me to clean out her car when she was doing mine- so at least it wasn't entirely out of the blue!

@Totalwasteofpaper yep, I used to live in London and parking was such a hassle that the driveway was a non negotiable when I was looking for this place[/quote]
I remember that thread! What happened in the end, did she stop asking about her car being washed?

I'm glad you shut it down straight away.

There's absolutely nothing in it for you...and these sort of arrangements are a recipe for disaster. Yanbu

Oh well done OP, just keep smiling & declining!

I'd have said yes but charged for the privilege. The price? My entire rent bill.

@doodleygirl

I think it’s fine for your neighbour to ask and equally fine for you to say a big fat no.

I don’t see how it makes her a CF for asking. Some of the inflammatory language of the responses is horrible.

The asking part is a bit cheeky given that the OP obviously has a car and uses her drive. But fine, it doesn’t hurt to ask.

The problem is the neighbour’s reaction to the No. Muttering about it being unfair is absurd. And inflammatory.

Well done for standing your ground.

She doesn't have a leg to stand on. All she has, to try and talk you round is.... The conversation ended up with her slinking off muttering about me being "unfair"

Laughing was absolutely the correct response. Don't be drawn in.

You know you're not being unreasonable. Next time tell her that if she wants private parking, she needs to live in a property that has it. Please don't give in to her.

"After a shift" you say. Are any of these shifts very early or late? - or in other words, do you sometimes sleep at times when most others don't?

Next time she asks you say "We can discuss that in a minute. First I wanted to ask you something - I've seen you're often up and about at around 9am which is when I like to sleep after a night shift. As you're not using it, can I get in your bed?"

if she bought when your flat was unoccupied, it might not have been spelled out to her that the space doesn't go with her home but with yours.

If she bought a flat without checking where she would legally be allowed to park her car ....

@phishy even better!!!

@JaniieJones

I don't understand, does she rent too? If there is a 3 storey property with a drive attached surely unless you own it then parking on the attached drive should he a shared/first come first served style basis.

Read the original post again. All your questions are answered there.

Yanbu. Don't even go there, it will turn into a nightmare.

@JaniieJones

I don't understand, does she rent too? If there is a 3 storey property with a drive attached surely unless you own it then parking on the attached drive should he a shared/first come first served style basis.

No, she owns; the OP's first post says so, or did you miss that?

It's not a '3 storey property' legally speaking, it's a 1 storey property with a private drive and then a 2 storey property. And the OP DOES own the drive; again, it's in her first post: 'The driveway belongs to my flat'.

Tell her no and if you did you'd be charging her an hourly rate!

Let your landlord know, I’m sure they don’t want their flat to essentially lose value by not having a defined parking space.

she's a CF.

I would email your landlord/letting agency about the exchange, and make it clear you've refused her permission too.. just to cover your ass in the event she decides to ignore you and parks there any way (which i don't think i'd put past her considering)