Neighbour wants to "share" my driveway. I... don't

[TheUnexpectedPickle]

Parking one, buckle up.
I live in a 3 storey Victorian townhouse, my flat is at the bottom, and above me is a 2 story house owned by Snooty Neighbour. I rent, if that's relevant.

The driveway belongs to my flat and the steps up to SNs front door are about halfway up my drive.

Its a double drive and Paul-Next-Door, who owns all 3 storeys of his house, has the other half of the drive.

I bumped in to SN last week and she commented that she is struggling to find parking on the street now that I've moved in. The flat was empty for a while and she was parking on the drive. She then said she's noticed that I'm out for long stretches of time so possibly she could use my drive when I'm out. I pointed out that she wouldn't know when I'm going to be back, so she wouldn't know when to move her car. She then suggested that in that case I park on the street!

So it appears she is imaging some sort of first come first serve arrangement. It took me off guard a bit so I said I'd think about it. Obviously, I thought "no fucking chance"

Last night she caught me coming home and asked if I'd had the chance to think about it. I politely declined and explained that I don't really want to be searching for parking after a 12 hour shift so it doesn't work for me. She then suggested I message her my rota so she knows when she can use the drive, to make it "fair" and then let her know when I'm going to other places and when I'll be back.

Wtf!? I don't want to have to tell a random woman when I'm going to be home! I'm 35 years old, I don't even tell my mother that!

I probably didn't help the situation as I laughed when I said no to that. She then got huffy and started going on about me letting other cars park on the drive. Other cars being my DP, who I then park in front of and block in and Paul Next Door when he had a skip on his drive and asked me very nicely if he could park there for about 2 hours while he had a tyre changed. Neither of these things caused me any inconvenience.

The conversation ended up with her slinking off muttering about me being "unfair"

Bonkers.

I know I'm not being unreasonable really but her whole expectation that this was a great idea has me questioning myself just a tiny bit.

AIBU?

God no please don't buckle and give in, you will loose your parking spot forever I guarantee it.

Just say out and out no .anything saying you will think about it just makes her think she's in with a chance! She is a cf here .

Hi OP,
If your neighbour brings it up again I would say "when I thought about it I considered my rent is higher because I pay for a private drive - so I should have parking. I shouldn't be paying for a parking space and not have use of it - that wouldn't be fair would it?" (i.e. wtf would I pay for your parking!!)

@Cheeseandlobster I've already commented up thread about this stop with the outrage.My neighbour and I actually get along,don't worry yourself.

I can't believe she actually asked for your rota and schedule, that's one cheeky fucker 😂🎉🎉

@LolaButt

I think it’s totally fine for neighbours to ask things like this in a polite way.

Not ok to act entitled and rude and not accept no for an answer. YANBU.

I think it's rude and entitled to even ask tbh. It would be one thing if OP didn't have a car, but she does, and she uses it every day for work. It's her space, that she pays for. The neighbour parking there would cause her serious inconvenience for zero gain. As others have pointed out, ground floor flats are often a bit shit and their redeeming features tend to be the driveway and garden access. If the neighbour has chosen to live on an upper floor, then she has to deal with not having those. Her choice.

I think the fact you are renting is also relevant. Your landlord might not thank you for establishing an expectation that they can park there. It could be storing up trouble for future tenants. Stick to your guns!

@MintyGreenDream

We have a legally owned shared drive and the poor young lad next door has parked on the street ever since i passed my test 6 months ago we were both sick of the messaging of can I get my car out pls ? And I think he's admitted defeat tbh. To have that nightmare when the drive isn't anything to do with SN is batshit,can't fault you.

Well that's CF behaviour

I remember your previous thread! She is bonkers and has no boundaries.

I think I’d go for a breezy “Sorry Linda, that just doesn’t work for me I’m afraid” on repeat.

Simply say. No that doesn’t work for me.

No further comment. If she says anything bout “fairness” state that you rented the property with a drive and pay for the use of it- hardly fair for you to pay for someone else to park is it?

Some car insurance companies ask where you keep your car overnight. This might apply to you?

'Ah well, life's not fair' is a great phrase.

Maybe she needs to think about buying a house with its own parking.

Oh god, I remember your previous thread about her. She's a nutter with no boundaries.

If she mentions it again, just say you're specifically paying to rent somewhere with full use of a parking space 24/7, and if she wants a space she an use at her convenience then she can find a different space to rent herself. If there is a local website where you can lease and rent parking spots, I'd point her to that.

You did the right thing in saying no. Also your landlord is unlikely to allow it so it could be breach of the tenancy and you could be slung out of the flat! The landlord probably has a mortgage and/or a long lease and both of those probably do not allow the landlord to do anything that might affect rights relating to the land or diminish its value - the neighbour might obtain some kind of right of adverse possession or licence through long use of parking there.

If I were you I would email the landlord so you have it on record you refused.

@AliasGrape

Ask her to pop a key to her place through the door with a list of when she’s going to be away/ out over the next few months - you’ve got some stuff you want to store in her house since she’s got the extra space and after all it’s only ‘fair’. Or maybe you fancy using her bath or watching the widescreen telly or having a potter round the garden and since you don’t have these things and she does you’re sure she’d want to make it ‘fair’.

You are paying to rent the drive as well as the flat. She isn't

@MintyGreenDream

We have a legally owned shared drive and the poor young lad next door has parked on the street ever since i passed my test 6 months ago we were both sick of the messaging of can I get my car out pls ? And I think he's admitted defeat tbh. To have that nightmare when the drive isn't anything to do with SN is batshit,can't fault you.

Why are you blushing? Sounds like a guilty conscience.

If I were you I would email the landlord so you have it on record you refused.
Good idea.

I don't understand, does she rent too? If there is a 3 storey property with a drive attached surely unless you own it then parking on the attached drive should he a shared/first come first served style basis.

You have done the right thing. You are not being unreasonable in the slightest.

You see, she has been thinking about it for a long time- hence the 'let me see your rota' thing whilst you have been caught off guard.

Your gut reaction and your subsequent 'no' are all right.

There is no 'fair' in this situation - there is the 'fact' that you rent a flat which owns the drive.

Be prepared for some passive aggressive huffing and puffing coming from her in the future - she is illogical and so she will behave illogically.

She's really pushing any (normal) boundaries isn't she!

The only time I let my town centre parking space to someone else, was to a close friend when we were away on holiday, so she wasn't paying £10 daily parking. And this was TEMP basis.!

Like hell I'd have all thr inconvenience and cost of 'sharing' my parking with a random other permanently! Its all gain for her and loss for you isn't it!

I remember your previous thread. You need to laugh in her face!
I also think you need the old MN favourite - a 🐧 bollard.

@JaniieJones

I don't understand, does she rent too? If there is a 3 storey property with a drive attached surely unless you own it then parking on the attached drive should he a shared/first come first served style basis.

Why?

If the drive belongs to the ground floor and not to the first/top floor, it doesn’t matter if people own or rent. The OP is renting the ground floor flat which comes with the drive.

I remember your thread about her asking you to clean her car!

She's obviously nuts and has some sort of idea she's above you!

Go Hyacinth Bucket on her...start talking in a very plummy voice and inviting her round for candlelight suppers!

I don’t see how it makes her a CF for asking.

Ah - this is what my CF neighbours always say! “No harm in asking.” Well, actually, there is! Because you put someone else in the position of having to say no. And people do this precisely because they know that some people don’t feel able to do that and they can therefore get something to their own advantage. I’m pretty adept at saying “err… no way, Mike”, but it still leaves a nasty taste.