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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour wants to "share" my driveway. I... don't

347 replies

TheUnexpectedPickle · 25/11/2021 08:04

Parking one, buckle up.
I live in a 3 storey Victorian townhouse, my flat is at the bottom, and above me is a 2 story house owned by Snooty Neighbour. I rent, if that's relevant.

The driveway belongs to my flat and the steps up to SNs front door are about halfway up my drive.

Its a double drive and Paul-Next-Door, who owns all 3 storeys of his house, has the other half of the drive.

I bumped in to SN last week and she commented that she is struggling to find parking on the street now that I've moved in. The flat was empty for a while and she was parking on the drive. She then said she's noticed that I'm out for long stretches of time so possibly she could use my drive when I'm out. I pointed out that she wouldn't know when I'm going to be back, so she wouldn't know when to move her car. She then suggested that in that case I park on the street!

So it appears she is imaging some sort of first come first serve arrangement. It took me off guard a bit so I said I'd think about it. Obviously, I thought "no fucking chance"

Last night she caught me coming home and asked if I'd had the chance to think about it. I politely declined and explained that I don't really want to be searching for parking after a 12 hour shift so it doesn't work for me. She then suggested I message her my rota so she knows when she can use the drive, to make it "fair" and then let her know when I'm going to other places and when I'll be back.

Wtf!? I don't want to have to tell a random woman when I'm going to be home! I'm 35 years old, I don't even tell my mother that!

I probably didn't help the situation as I laughed when I said no to that. She then got huffy and started going on about me letting other cars park on the drive. Other cars being my DP, who I then park in front of and block in and Paul Next Door when he had a skip on his drive and asked me very nicely if he could park there for about 2 hours while he had a tyre changed. Neither of these things caused me any inconvenience.

The conversation ended up with her slinking off muttering about me being "unfair"

Bonkers.

I know I'm not being unreasonable really but her whole expectation that this was a great idea has me questioning myself just a tiny bit.

AIBU?

OP posts:
NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 25/11/2021 08:28

@SmallPrawnEnergy
Don't be daft! Minty & neighbour were texting each other politely to ask to get in & out, it's a pain!! HE could have suggested some king of rota, but he didn't, ho chose to park on the street - that's his call. She hasn't claimed it as her own, she's parked on the shared driveway. Just as he can if he wants to!!

MrsMoastyToasty · 25/11/2021 08:29

No. You pay for a flat with parking. Why would you pass that benefit on for no financial gain to you.
If she wants driveway parking then she should get her own drive.

Chunkymenrock · 25/11/2021 08:30

She chose to buy a property without parking. You chose to rent that property because it had parking always available. The end.

Anjo2011 · 25/11/2021 08:31

Absolutely no chance. Don’t even let her do it once. Once you’ve started it will be deemed to be ok and she will be claiming it as her drive as well. Just no.

Sparklfairy · 25/11/2021 08:32

@AliasGrape

Ask her to pop a key to her place through the door with a list of when she’s going to be away/ out over the next few months - you’ve got some stuff you want to store in her house since she’s got the extra space and after all it’s only ‘fair’. Or maybe you fancy using her bath or watching the widescreen telly or having a potter round the garden and since you don’t have these things and she does you’re sure she’d want to make it ‘fair’.
I love this Grin "yes, let's swap schedules so I can have a nice soak in your bath sometimes after a shift, it'll be great as it'll save me having to clean mine!" Grin

If she kept pushing id be tempted to suggest she rent it from you for the same price as your entire rent Grin

NovemberNovemberDarkNights · 25/11/2021 08:33

@TheUnexpectedPickle

YANBU laughing was the correct response!!

You can let the entire circus park on your driveway if you want to. Or it could be empty 24/7/365. 'Fair' doesn't come into it, it's YOUR driveway, YOU decide who parks on it. If she wants a driveway, she spends the money to buy a house with one.

If she parks there, I'd hammer on her door & tell her to move her bloody car before I call the towing company, & tell her next time I won't ask first

MintyGreenDream · 25/11/2021 08:33

@SmallPrawnEnergy maybe admitted defeat was the wrong choice of words,calm yourself down.
I've noticed he doesn't park on the drive anymore that's all there is to it.

MintyGreenDream · 25/11/2021 08:34

@November NovemberDarkNights exactly! Some people just love to be outraged.

LookItsMeAgain · 25/11/2021 08:34

Is she aware that the parking space belongs with your flat? I mean if she bought when your flat was unoccupied, it might not have been spelled out to her that the space doesn't go with her home but with yours.

Not trying to excuse her madder than a box of frogs idea but perhaps she wasn't aware.

Rockdown2020 · 25/11/2021 08:35

OP I remember your previous thread!

She’s bonkers, there was no reason she couldn’t have rented your flat if the parking spot was so important to her. As you said, it was free for some time. You are completely reasonable to refuse this.

DismantledKing · 25/11/2021 08:38

I’m so glad that you set firm boundaries and are able to say ‘no’! I thought this was going to be another thread with a doormat OP, and I’m very pleased that it isn’t.

Totalwasteofpaper · 25/11/2021 08:38

[quote TheUnexpectedPickle]@Smellymoo luckily I already had an inkling that she's a bit... eccentric- I had a previous thread in which she asked me to clean out her car when she was doing mine- so at least it wasn't entirely out of the blue!

@Totalwasteofpaper yep, I used to live in London and parking was such a hassle that the driveway was a non negotiable when I was looking for this place[/quote]
Omg it’s you! And it’s her!!!!!

She is honestly nuts….
Paul next door all the way. Get him to deal with her.

If she wants to chat always says you are in a rush and can’t chat —then run away quickly—

RedWingBoots · 25/11/2021 08:44

Get a friend to randomly park their car on your drive.

Obviously ensure the friend messages you before hand, and is contactable or you have the spare keys so you can move their car.

I use to be allowed to park my car on two of my friends drives when I was shopping near their homes. (They lived on the same road.) This then stopped their neighbours doing what your CF neighbour is trying to do as they didn't know when I was turning up.

daimbarsatemydogsbone · 25/11/2021 08:45

@AliasGrape

Ask her to pop a key to her place through the door with a list of when she’s going to be away/ out over the next few months - you’ve got some stuff you want to store in her house since she’s got the extra space and after all it’s only ‘fair’. Or maybe you fancy using her bath or watching the widescreen telly or having a potter round the garden and since you don’t have these things and she does you’re sure she’d want to make it ‘fair’.
Grin
LolaButt · 25/11/2021 08:47

I think it’s totally fine for neighbours to ask things like this in a polite way.

Not ok to act entitled and rude and not accept no for an answer. YANBU.

Cheeseandlobster · 25/11/2021 08:49

@MintyGreenDream

We have a legally owned shared drive and the poor young lad next door has parked on the street ever since i passed my test 6 months ago Blush we were both sick of the messaging of can I get my car out pls ? And I think he's admitted defeat tbh. To have that nightmare when the drive isn't anything to do with SN is batshit,can't fault you.
So you passed your test and now hog the shared drive? Wow! You are the cf here. In this situation he should not have to admit defeat and you should be looking at perhaps having different days to use it. I can't believe you think this is ok
ArrrMeHearties · 25/11/2021 08:49

You've been more than reasonable and now you need to tell her to do one your drive is your drive, not hers

EdgeOfTheSky · 25/11/2021 08:50

“I specifically chose to rent a flat with my own off street parking so that it is not something to which I have to give time it headspace. Fair enough to ask, but for me the subject of sharing my drive has to be a ‘no’ and an end if the conversation.”

Cheeky entitled so and so!

userxx · 25/11/2021 08:51

Absolutely fucking not.

doodleygirl · 25/11/2021 08:51

I think it’s fine for your neighbour to ask and equally fine for you to say a big fat no.

I don’t see how it makes her a CF for asking. Some of the inflammatory language of the responses is horrible.

ApolloandDaphne · 25/11/2021 08:52

She obviously thinks you are subservient to her living in rented quarters downstairs and should do her bidding!

Clymene · 25/11/2021 08:52

@doodleygirl

I think it’s fine for your neighbour to ask and equally fine for you to say a big fat no.

I don’t see how it makes her a CF for asking. Some of the inflammatory language of the responses is horrible.

It really isn't ok to ask someone who has a car if you can share their drive
IglesiasPiggl · 25/11/2021 08:55

You're absolutely right to stand your ground on this. Maybe you could remind her of the pros and cons of ground floor flat versus upper level flat in a conversion? One of the pros of ground floor is garden and driveway access!

Cheeseandlobster · 25/11/2021 08:55

Oh and op. Good for you. I agreed years ago to let a neighbour use my drive as I didn't have a car. On the proviso that we have it back when friends or family come to stay. This then resulted in the neighbours glaring at said friends and family and then refusing to move their car when we hired one to go on holiday and needed it close to the house to pack. Dp at the time had a leg injury and ds was a baby. She will just expect it to be hers if you agree. Good for you for making it a clear no

IntermittentParps · 25/11/2021 08:55

She's a loon. Of course you laughed Grin
She asks again, you say, 'No, it's my drive' and walk away.

doodleygirl, 'Some of the inflammatory language of the responses' is probably because this cheeky individual thinks that she's entitled to a first come first serve arrangement concerning the OP's private drive; and seriously requested access to the OP's timetable. She think it is 'fair' that the OP should do this.
If you think it’s fine for her to ask for those things and to call the OP 'unfair' for not agreeing, you're as cheeky as her.