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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour wants to "share" my driveway. I... don't

347 replies

TheUnexpectedPickle · 25/11/2021 08:04

Parking one, buckle up.
I live in a 3 storey Victorian townhouse, my flat is at the bottom, and above me is a 2 story house owned by Snooty Neighbour. I rent, if that's relevant.

The driveway belongs to my flat and the steps up to SNs front door are about halfway up my drive.

Its a double drive and Paul-Next-Door, who owns all 3 storeys of his house, has the other half of the drive.

I bumped in to SN last week and she commented that she is struggling to find parking on the street now that I've moved in. The flat was empty for a while and she was parking on the drive. She then said she's noticed that I'm out for long stretches of time so possibly she could use my drive when I'm out. I pointed out that she wouldn't know when I'm going to be back, so she wouldn't know when to move her car. She then suggested that in that case I park on the street!

So it appears she is imaging some sort of first come first serve arrangement. It took me off guard a bit so I said I'd think about it. Obviously, I thought "no fucking chance"

Last night she caught me coming home and asked if I'd had the chance to think about it. I politely declined and explained that I don't really want to be searching for parking after a 12 hour shift so it doesn't work for me. She then suggested I message her my rota so she knows when she can use the drive, to make it "fair" and then let her know when I'm going to other places and when I'll be back.

Wtf!? I don't want to have to tell a random woman when I'm going to be home! I'm 35 years old, I don't even tell my mother that!

I probably didn't help the situation as I laughed when I said no to that. She then got huffy and started going on about me letting other cars park on the drive. Other cars being my DP, who I then park in front of and block in and Paul Next Door when he had a skip on his drive and asked me very nicely if he could park there for about 2 hours while he had a tyre changed. Neither of these things caused me any inconvenience.

The conversation ended up with her slinking off muttering about me being "unfair"

Bonkers.

I know I'm not being unreasonable really but her whole expectation that this was a great idea has me questioning myself just a tiny bit.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Alwaystheplusone · 26/11/2021 18:44

She can absolutely fuck the fuck off. Cheeky bastard. People like her seem to be everywhere these days. Bold as brass. Tell her to get fucked.

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 26/11/2021 19:08

I came home one day recently to find a strange car on my driveway. I was channeling all my Mumsnet righteous indignation when I realised that it belonged to someone helping the chap that was putting up our new fence. Grin

Queenbee77 · 26/11/2021 19:09

You rent....PAY.... for the property you live in and it comes with a drive. It is yours to park in without the interference from anyone! Unless of course you would like to charge her! Lol

toxic44 · 26/11/2021 19:09

Just laugh at her and say No. She's trying to make you feel guilty. Bubbles to that. She's called the CF game, so play it and refuse her.

Loreleigh · 26/11/2021 19:16

Say NO, repeat every time CF neighbour asks..it is your drive, you pay for it as part of your rent and it's up to you if you or your visitors park there. This neighbour has a lot of nerve trying to drive-share, or have access to your schedule (none of her f*ing business) - do not give her an inch or she'll take every mile she can...if your polite NO fails to register, maybe being rude and very blunt is the only language she'll understand...she is behaving like an entitled brat and needs to buy/rent a home with a private drive if that's what she wants - she can't expect to park on yours, at any time! NEVER allow her access, and if she parks there anyway, have her car towed or clamp it, and charge her! Good luck

Hugoslavia · 26/11/2021 19:18

I actually think that you were being rather unreasonable OP. I can't see why they can't use your driveway when you're not there....just as you could use their living room or garden when they're not there! You could have at least suggested a reciprocal arrangement! I would propose at the very least using their spare room for guests when they are on holiday. Grin

Loreleigh · 26/11/2021 19:18

Also, after a 12-hour shift and probably tired, your personal safety is a top priority - you don't need to be parking up the road somewhere and have to walk to your own home and up your driveway past some CF's car!

Galdos · 26/11/2021 19:21

@MintyGreenDream

We have a legally owned shared drive and the poor young lad next door has parked on the street ever since i passed my test 6 months ago Blush we were both sick of the messaging of can I get my car out pls ? And I think he's admitted defeat tbh. To have that nightmare when the drive isn't anything to do with SN is batshit,can't fault you.
Worth looking at the deeds: 'shared driveway' can mean it is really a shared access route - e.g. between houses where the garages are in the gardens (and typically too small for modern cars anyway) and the driveway is just an access road. So neither owner may have a right to use it for parking.
froggy1811 · 26/11/2021 19:23

YANBU! We have a real busy body of a neighbour who thinks she owns the entire estate and all the parking spaces too! Nobody here has a driveway, and it's 'first come, first served' so far as bagging the nearest space to your house goes. Anyway, a while ago, this neighbour stopped my DH and gave him a good telling off for parking in the space she likes best, because she believes this is inconsiderate specifically to her!! For the record, this parking space is directly facing our living room window - hence the reason we also prefer it. She then instructed him to move his car so that she could park there! Thankfully, DP said No, so she walked off using expletives and calling him dreadful names! Since then, both her and her Partner blank both of us and cross the street to avoid having to speak to/see us!

Daverl1980 · 26/11/2021 19:28

Sounds like a two for one deal, she went off like a chav and not speaking to her or her partner sounds like a bonus.

froggy1811 · 26/11/2021 19:30

@Daverl1980

Sounds like a two for one deal, she went off like a chav and not speaking to her or her partner sounds like a bonus.
It really is a bonus! 😅

She is most definitely a chav, but since her partner moved in, she's become Mrs Bucket lol

pollymere · 26/11/2021 19:48

What glorious CF! If it's a split where she gets the garden, perhaps suggest that you can use it for loud parties and BBQs? Seriously though, I hope it doesn't turn into a headache for you. I can sadly see her parking there when she thinks you won't be there. You will have to make sure it's a clear no and allude (or state outright) that you will have to tow her car at her expense if she parks there.

SummersWynter · 26/11/2021 20:00

In no way are you being unreasonable. Tell her to "scotch off" and pay for her OWN parking space...then she can find someone to "share with". See how that works out for her!!

itsallgoingpearshaped · 26/11/2021 20:01

Hilarious.

She bought a home without parking. Not your problem to solve for her.

What's unfair is her hassling you who wasn't so dim to do the same about it.

Tell her this if she brings it up again.

Daverl1980 · 26/11/2021 20:19

Other than when she doesn’t get her own way hopefully she’ll move

Daverl1980 · 26/11/2021 20:21

@SummersWynter

In no way are you being unreasonable. Tell her to "scotch off" and pay for her OWN parking space...then she can find someone to "share with". See how that works out for her!!
Completely agree give her and inch and she will literally take a mile. People like this are just deeply unpleasant to live near.
Ddot · 26/11/2021 20:56

I think if you do let her, things will get nasty as she will refuse to move and once you say yes that will give her the right to always park there ( in her head) give an inch take a mile scenario

WhereYouLeftIt · 26/11/2021 21:13

[quote TheUnexpectedPickle]@Smellymoo luckily I already had an inkling that she's a bit... eccentric- I had a previous thread in which she asked me to clean out her car when she was doing mine- so at least it wasn't entirely out of the blue!

@Totalwasteofpaper yep, I used to live in London and parking was such a hassle that the driveway was a non negotiable when I was looking for this place[/quote]
Ooh, I remember that. You can call her eccentric if you want, I'll stick to batshitGrin.

If she wanted a driveway she should have bought a place with a driveway. Made it non-negotiable, as you did. YANBU.

PrincessNutella · 26/11/2021 21:46

How thoughtless you are! And by the way, it would be really helpful if you could also share your internet password, do her grocery shopping and perhaps your husband could drop by and donate some sperm if he's not too busy doing some DIY project for her that day.

BreatheAndFocus · 26/11/2021 21:49

YADNBU! I had this once when I had a house with a wider than average parking space. NDN asked if I’d park right over to one side of my space so he could squeeze his car in too!!

Be firm and don’t be swayed at all.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 26/11/2021 21:49

Keep saying no but if you find yourself faltering and feeling pressured perhaps you could say that you asked your Letting Agent to ask your Landlord if this would be possible and the answer was a definite no and not open for discussion. Then it is not you saying no, it is completely our of your hands, it is not your decision to make and there is absolutely nothing you can do it. You shouldn't have to do this but if it works it works and then she will have no reason to have to speak to you everytime she sees you. Yes she is a CF

I really wouldn't do this. If you ever give CFs a reason why you can't do something, they see it as a challenge to 'help you' to find a way around 'your' problem, to enable them to get what they want.

If you tell her you've asked the landlord if it's possible, she will interpret this as your declaration that you truly want to be a doormat 'fair' and are being thwarted by the mean LL.

At best, she will assure you that the LL will never find out about it, so no need for you to 'worry'; at worst, she will trace the LL, browbeat tell them that you've expressed huge concern about the security aspect of your drive being empty during your long shifts on such a busy road and area and that you asked her if she would mind parking there to make the house look occupied - but you were a bit too timid to confirm that they obviously don't have any issues with her helping to secure their property.

Asamommy · 26/11/2021 22:40

Don't worry about her. It's just amazing how crazy some people are.

Lilydot · 26/11/2021 23:03

Wtf no way would I stand for that. Tell her to grow up!

munner · 26/11/2021 23:47

She is delusional. Keep strong and say bugger off.

me109f · 27/11/2021 00:36

She seems to assume she is entitled. If it is your designated drive, you take ownership of it, otherwise you will be sorry and she will always be parking there at your inconvenience.
Parking is one of the biggest causes of disputes between neighbours. She is being cheeky and you should stand your ground, perhaps she should move.