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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour wants to "share" my driveway. I... don't

347 replies

TheUnexpectedPickle · 25/11/2021 08:04

Parking one, buckle up.
I live in a 3 storey Victorian townhouse, my flat is at the bottom, and above me is a 2 story house owned by Snooty Neighbour. I rent, if that's relevant.

The driveway belongs to my flat and the steps up to SNs front door are about halfway up my drive.

Its a double drive and Paul-Next-Door, who owns all 3 storeys of his house, has the other half of the drive.

I bumped in to SN last week and she commented that she is struggling to find parking on the street now that I've moved in. The flat was empty for a while and she was parking on the drive. She then said she's noticed that I'm out for long stretches of time so possibly she could use my drive when I'm out. I pointed out that she wouldn't know when I'm going to be back, so she wouldn't know when to move her car. She then suggested that in that case I park on the street!

So it appears she is imaging some sort of first come first serve arrangement. It took me off guard a bit so I said I'd think about it. Obviously, I thought "no fucking chance"

Last night she caught me coming home and asked if I'd had the chance to think about it. I politely declined and explained that I don't really want to be searching for parking after a 12 hour shift so it doesn't work for me. She then suggested I message her my rota so she knows when she can use the drive, to make it "fair" and then let her know when I'm going to other places and when I'll be back.

Wtf!? I don't want to have to tell a random woman when I'm going to be home! I'm 35 years old, I don't even tell my mother that!

I probably didn't help the situation as I laughed when I said no to that. She then got huffy and started going on about me letting other cars park on the drive. Other cars being my DP, who I then park in front of and block in and Paul Next Door when he had a skip on his drive and asked me very nicely if he could park there for about 2 hours while he had a tyre changed. Neither of these things caused me any inconvenience.

The conversation ended up with her slinking off muttering about me being "unfair"

Bonkers.

I know I'm not being unreasonable really but her whole expectation that this was a great idea has me questioning myself just a tiny bit.

AIBU?

OP posts:
cookiemonster2468 · 25/11/2021 14:48

No.

If parking was that important to her then she should have bought a place with parking.

I would never agree to this.

CharityDingle · 25/11/2021 14:49

Some people are actually THAT self involved that they only see the world in relation to them, and what they want.

Absolutely batshit of her, to think that you would be happy to start giving her your rota/ whereabouts, so that she could use the drive. Shock
Perfect response, to laugh, imo.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/11/2021 14:52

LOL she doesn't want to 'share' the drive, she wants to have the drive. If she is always home when you're not, you'll never be able to park on it.

Oh, yes, you can tell exactly how this would play out if she were given an inch. She's on the drive, OP gets home and says she needs to use her drive and she'll look most offended and quite put out. "Oh, but there's a space out there on the road, why don't you just park there? Are you really expecting me to get my shoes and coat on, come out, start up my car and move it to that space when you're already next to it? How petty is that? Plus, what if somebody else grabs that space whilst we're doing our ridiculous car tango - and then YOU won't have any space at all."

And if there isn't a free space just outside, it'll be "Oh, there are usually a few just a few minutes up the road."

CF neighbour has a problem and she is determined to solve it by making it into OP's problem. She's like the people who sneakily try to sell broken items at the full price - but she wouldn't even be bothering to hide the fact that it's broken. She'd just be saying "I want a working one, so if you buy the broken one off me for the price of a new one, we're all grand!"

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/11/2021 14:55

No.

If parking was that important to her then she should have bought a place with parking.

Depending on how long OP's flat was empty, she may have convinced herself that that's what she'd done. She sounds like one of these 'possession is 9/10 of the law' sorts and or squared it in her own mind that, having been using the empty space, it was now 'hers' - and surely nobody would really be so unkind as to try to take her space away from her - especially as they're 'only' renting and she has two thirds of the building anyway.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/11/2021 14:58

Some people are actually THAT self involved that they only see the world in relation to them, and what they want.

She reminds me of the very first post on a classic CF thread, where OP's CF 'friend' had the bright idea of going over to her (OP's) house to smoke, to avoid making her own house stink - except neither OP nor anybody in her household actually smoked!

The self-absorption of some people is truly staggering.

LakieLady · 25/11/2021 15:10

The woman's batshit.

Of course, you could rent it out on JustPark and make a few bob out of it while you're at work. A colleague in Brighton makes a small fortune out of his driveway.

CantThinkOfaUserNameAgain · 25/11/2021 15:14

@phishy

I love this grin "yes, let's swap schedules so I can have a nice soak in your bath sometimes after a shift, it'll be great as it'll save me having to clean mine!"

I read this as nice soak in her bath after a shit!

Just spat coffee over my (work) laptop at this 😂😂😂😂
GloriaSicTransitMundi · 25/11/2021 15:48

Just read this on OPs other batshit crazy neighbour thread

  1. Neighbour already is suspicious of me, she had a bee in her bonnet about me not going round to introduce myself when I moved in and once we had spoken I heard her telling her husband she didn't believe me about my job and wanted to call my employer to confirm I worked for them! (She has also speculated that my baby nephew was my baby who didn't live with me and thought he'd been taken away from me, but that's another thread)

She does seem like a nutter - where's that mumsnetter who always suggests autism? Grin

drawacircleroundit · 25/11/2021 16:07

You're not being unreasonable at all. Your own parking space after a 12 hour shift is one of those little luxuries that makes life bearable.

Aquamarine1029 · 25/11/2021 16:11

Stand your ground and don't give an inch to this cheeky fucker. If they wanted a drive they should a bought a place with one.

hedgehogger1 · 25/11/2021 16:49

Tell her you'll rent it to her for the cost of your rent. Living for free might make up for the inconvenience

Sparklfairy · 25/11/2021 17:43

If her version of unfair is not being able to park on someone else's drive she hasn't had much unfairness in her life at all.

Probably why she's so astonished at the downright audacity of the OP Grin

TyrannosaurusRights · 25/11/2021 19:40

You need a list of batshit demands of your own. Whenever you see her don’t let her start the conversation

‘Oh Ethel, I’m so pleased we bumped into each other. I was going to pop round to see you anyway. I’ve been thinking and … insert batshit favour request here’

But they do need to be outrageous, beyond CFery requests.

I was thinking it’s not really fair that you own two floors here and I have to rent one. So I talked to my friend who works for a lawyer and she says they can draw up some paperwork for you to give me the middle floor of the building.

I saw you got a new sofa delivered and I’ve been thinking about a new one so I thought we could just move that to my flat until I decide if I like it.

I’ve ordered half a lamb from the butchers, I’ll just pop it in your freezer and you can give me your key so I don’t have to disturb you when I want to get it in and out.

Original poster
TheUnexpectedPickle · 25/11/2021 20:46

A resounding NBU then 😎

I'm also annoyed with myself for saying I'd think about it, but it was quite a lighthearted chat and sounded like it could POSSIBLY have been a joke. Or maybe I just thought it was as its so ridiculous!!

She is... an interesting person.

OP posts:
TidyOmlette · 25/11/2021 20:54

I would let her park there. It’s only neighbourly after all and I’m sure she could compensate you…. The price of your rent perhaps?😂

Bellringer · 25/11/2021 20:56

Just use the words 'it's my drive' and no. Just so she is sure.

Slippy78 · 25/11/2021 21:22

@LookItsMeAgain

Is she aware that the parking space belongs with your flat? I mean if she bought when your flat was unoccupied, it might not have been spelled out to her that the space doesn't go with her home but with yours.

Not trying to excuse her madder than a box of frogs idea but perhaps she wasn't aware.

She will have had full view of the property title and deeds before she agreed to exchange contracts and will have also had to agree to her solicitor that they were what she was expecting. Not understanding what you are signing isn't excuse, it's just laziness.
Eeyoresideyestigger · 26/11/2021 00:40

@TheUnexpectedPickle

A resounding NBU then 😎

I'm also annoyed with myself for saying I'd think about it, but it was quite a lighthearted chat and sounded like it could POSSIBLY have been a joke. Or maybe I just thought it was as its so ridiculous!!

She is... an interesting person.

Lol! You underrate as you know she is a CF just from her previous "can you hover out my car too (🤨 ) which turns out was meant jn all seriousness "

The moment she asked you ee pathing in your drive snd telling you if you give her your work schedule but you might have to park in the road if she's parked there and is busy

I mean come on!! She is a CF of the utmost

Barrequeen · 26/11/2021 17:28

Yeah I think you needed to shut her down earlier but such a cheeky request it probably caught you off guard. It’s your flats parking space, End of story!

cherish123 · 26/11/2021 17:28

YADNBU
She is extremely cheeky.
You have already made it clear to her - it's not happening. If she still doesn't listen, I'd put it in writing.

dustyparadeground · 26/11/2021 17:32

Another vote for a "no" YANBU this would be a slippery slope leading who knows where?

Piwi1625 · 26/11/2021 17:33

Tell her to bugger orf! She sounds relentless! It's your driveway end of, you can let a bus park there and she can't say boo to you!

Pearshaped20 · 26/11/2021 17:36

Don't do it. I let my neighbour park on my 2 car drive for the occasional short period of time. They had 2 big cars and bought a runaround. I didn't mind at first but then it became longer and more frequent till it was there permanently day and night. My visitors had nowhere to park and became so awkward, so I had to tell them they could no longer park there.

mumoftinyterrors · 26/11/2021 17:39

Where do these people and their sense of entitlement come from?!? 😮😮😮😮 You were more polite than I'd have been. Cheeky bitch.

takenforgrantednana · 26/11/2021 17:40

@TheUnexpectedPickle

Parking one, buckle up. I live in a 3 storey Victorian townhouse, my flat is at the bottom, and above me is a 2 story house owned by Snooty Neighbour. I rent, if that's relevant.

The driveway belongs to my flat and the steps up to SNs front door are about halfway up my drive.

Its a double drive and Paul-Next-Door, who owns all 3 storeys of his house, has the other half of the drive.

I bumped in to SN last week and she commented that she is struggling to find parking on the street now that I've moved in. The flat was empty for a while and she was parking on the drive. She then said she's noticed that I'm out for long stretches of time so possibly she could use my drive when I'm out. I pointed out that she wouldn't know when I'm going to be back, so she wouldn't know when to move her car. She then suggested that in that case I park on the street!

So it appears she is imaging some sort of first come first serve arrangement. It took me off guard a bit so I said I'd think about it. Obviously, I thought "no fucking chance"

Last night she caught me coming home and asked if I'd had the chance to think about it. I politely declined and explained that I don't really want to be searching for parking after a 12 hour shift so it doesn't work for me. She then suggested I message her my rota so she knows when she can use the drive, to make it "fair" and then let her know when I'm going to other places and when I'll be back.

Wtf!? I don't want to have to tell a random woman when I'm going to be home! I'm 35 years old, I don't even tell my mother that!

I probably didn't help the situation as I laughed when I said no to that. She then got huffy and started going on about me letting other cars park on the drive. Other cars being my DP, who I then park in front of and block in and Paul Next Door when he had a skip on his drive and asked me very nicely if he could park there for about 2 hours while he had a tyre changed. Neither of these things caused me any inconvenience.

The conversation ended up with her slinking off muttering about me being "unfair"

Bonkers.

I know I'm not being unreasonable really but her whole expectation that this was a great idea has me questioning myself just a tiny bit.

AIBU?

as your rent will include an element for the useage of the driveway, is she willing to pay you for that? i would have said £10 a day was fair wouldnt you? not that you would be allowed to charge her for using it as the land dosent belong to you, maybe is you have said something along the lines of well to keep things being "fair" i was looking into you paying for the use of the drive as your currently being charged for it within the cost of your rent, but due to not owning the land then that option is out" that would get her off the case i think shes a cf!