DH wants to be a content creator

[Wazza89]

DH and I are struggling for money. He works 5 days a week and I’m a SAHM (because childcare costs, etc). We never have enough money to go away and my mum has stepped in to lend us money for DS shoes when I can’t find anything secondhand. We BOTH have past debts and have been reckless with money pre having kids.

However, I feel there are ways to cut back. DH never brings food into work. He says he buys a Tesco meal deal which I understand isn’t exactly expensive, but still costs more than bringing food from home in. We have two cars between us and his is on finance. I’ve told him we can share mine (and I would even make him the registered keeper as he drives more than me), but he won’t consider it. We could also downsize the 3-bed house we rent, but he doesn’t really want to because the third room is his gaming room/man cave. He spends a lot of time in there streaming and making social media content. He says he wants to earn a full-time income doing what he loves (don’t we all?!) and has watched a lot of Gary V and other famous podcasters and YouTubers (self-made millionaires). He’s put a lot of money into business ventures that have never materialised and equipment for his social media stuff, etc. In the past, I’ve tried being supportive but now I’m at the end of my tether as I feel he is not being responsible or realistic. We’ve already had to borrow money this month to get his car serviced.

When I tried bringing it up the other day (very tactfully), he tried giving me a hug and telling me everything would be alright once DS is in school full-time and I go back to work. Other times it’s been when his latest project takes off, etc.

I know it’s the sunken cost fallacy but when I’ve snapped or not shown interest in his latest money making scheme, I’ve been told I’m not being supportive and he genuinely seemed gutted. His mother, on the other hand, is always incredibly supportive and tells him he can do anything he puts his mind to. Likes everything on his social media, etc! There’s nothing wrong with having ambition, but I wish he’d worry more about the now which I constantly am!

DrSbaitso ha no, of course he never wrote the book. And he never would have written a book if he had quit his job either.

Also in many supermarkets there is a significant staff discount which would help with food bills.

BUT - do not do this just to fund his nonsense. Do it to have your own agency and financial independence.

You have to borrow money for your childrens shoes and he won’t take in lunch.

Ffs, what’s the point of him?

You go back to work and he’s going to take his foot off the gas and it’s ALL going to fall to you.

He’s no father, he’s no man. Anyone who would put his fucking meal deal over a kids shoes is not someone you stay with

Do the maths, see what support you’d get from the govt/welfare and see what you’d save in rent if you left him to it.

He’s an embarrassment

All the successful content creators that I know of started off doing it alongside their full time jobs and only switched to it as their career after proving that it was viable.

The trouble is, whatever you do to increase the amount going into the bucket will just drain away with his spending.

Give him a chance to step up: open a separate account in your name only for your DC's clothing, shoes etc and ask him to commit to a regular amount. £100 a month would be good.