Partner has packed his bags "just in case"?

[cally21]

NC for this as don't want it associated with my other posts.

Partner and I been having real problems recently (some abusive stuff involved on his part - sexual and emotional). Things have come to a head and we have decided to try relationship counselling. However this morning during an argument about him being shitty toward me (yet again), he has just revealed that he has "had his bags packed for 3 weeks just in case the counselling doesn't work out".

I mean, wtf?! Is it just me or has he already got one foot out the door? What's the point in counselling if he's already pre empting it to fail?

AIBU to be v upset and pissed off?

Tell him “Off you pop then!”.

There's a real tone in some posts that feels blamey, 'why are you putting up with it' - it would be useful to remember that victims of domestic abuse feel utterly powerless to change their situation, another impact on the coercive controlling behaviour pattern of abuse, a little compassion wouldn't go amiss.

Op, you are so brave for posting here, for being open and honest about your situation. Nothing about how you feel is wrong, it is all valid and important. I recommend speaking to womens aid too - I'm sure the link has been posted. And getting proper professional support, from people who wil understand and won't judge you for not kicking him out / leaving immediately. Leaving a relationship is a process and you are allowed to take the time you need to plan it - particularly in your case where your risk of the abuse escalating will increase at the point of you leaving. Its careless to suggest 'just leaving' - its puts you and your child in danger.

Take good care OP, you will survive this and come through it. 1 step at a time.

Being abusive to their dm IS being abusive to his dc...