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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the hotel is in the wrong?

317 replies

MiddayMass · 22/11/2021 14:31

My sister and her husband had their 10 year anniversary party at a local hotel yesterday. They had a free bar on them, £1500 tab.

Dsis was suspicious over some things as tab was sucked dry very quickly and she’d seen people at the bar and yet not with a drink at the table, so she asked for a receipt of everything ordered throughout the night.

It’s turns out somebody (or several people) were buying full bottles directly from the bar. Not just wines but spirits, one cheeky fucker bought an entire bottle of Remy Martin. Others only got chance to have a lime and soda or a coke on the tab before it was sucked up. A few late-arrivals got fuck-all.

Me and Dsis both suspect who the culprits are but we can’t really prove it.

Dsis has spoken to the manager who confirmed that people were buying bottles on the tab (this amazes me, surely it breaks some kind of licensing law) and that they did not see it as a problem as Dsis and her husband never specified that they wanted it limited. Dsis feels it was a given. We’ve also heard from a family friend that one of the bar staff was telling people “You can buy the bottle if you’d like?” when they ordered the same spirit more than once. We feel it was an obvious attempt to suck the tab dry quickly to get people buying drinks again. The bar staff looked barely 18 so I imagine the manager had told them to upsell bottles.

Whilst people were cheeky fuckers, AIBU to think the hotel was in the wrong?

OP posts:
KittenCatcher · 22/11/2021 14:35

the cf who ordered bottles are to blame, did the family member who overheard the barstaff tell you at the time so you could clear it with the manager.

3scape · 22/11/2021 14:36

Who the hell did they invite that would happily take advantage like that? Perhaps they should stick to parties for their close friends only.

Tippexy · 22/11/2021 14:36

YABU

dementedpixie · 22/11/2021 14:36

I don't think the hotel should have let people put full bottles on the tab. Very unfair to the other guests

Finfintytint · 22/11/2021 14:36

I think your relatives should have stipulated what was on offer but I’d never expect my guests to be so greedy and cheeky.

NerrSnerr · 22/11/2021 14:37

It's the people who took the piss of the open bar who are to blame in my opinion. If they're their friends they should talk to them about it.

mm40 · 22/11/2021 14:37

I can understand the bottles of wine but the spirits is definitely wrong….

Unfortunately it’s one of those things that you wouldn’t think to ask when arranging the event I suppose.

HoldmecloseTonyDanza · 22/11/2021 14:37

That's awful, your poor sister & her DH trying to do something nice Sad
While I agree it was CF behaviour, and the bar staff should have checked with one of them before handing over a full bottle of spirits, your sis & DH should have set rules with the bar manager. No. 1 being no full bottles of spirits!
At our works Christmas parties we get drinks vouchers and rules are: no doubles, no cocktails.

dementedpixie · 22/11/2021 14:37

@Tippexy

YABU
In what way is the OP unreasonable?
Original poster
MiddayMass · 22/11/2021 14:37

Sister’s husbands family are massive, he’s one of 9. It was a big do.

OP posts:
DriftingBlue · 22/11/2021 14:39

I would never have expected the hotel to sell bottles. I’ve hosted bars before and that has never happened. I’d be speaking to the manager today.

KittenCatcher · 22/11/2021 14:40

If they have a list of all the people who attended I would put out a message to everyone saying they hoped everyone enjoyed themselves, it was wonderful to see everyone but you are saddened that some guests ran the free bar dry by ordering full bottles of spirits which left many guests having to pay for drinks themselves.

CheddarGorgeous · 22/11/2021 14:40

Awful behaviour from the guests. The hotel should have been more proactive but ultimately it's just terrible behaviour from people who are supposed to be family and friends. I would want to speak to the manager to tell them how disappointed they were but I don't think there's any case for e.g. compensation.

Dillydollydingdong · 22/11/2021 14:41

Its lucky they put a limit on it. £1500 is a lot of money, but dsis and her dh could have been bankrupted if no limit had been put on.

Chely · 22/11/2021 14:41

The hotel should have informed the hosts that they needed to specify by the glass only on tab orders. The CF who took advantage are more to blame than anyone though.

ElftonWednesday · 22/11/2021 14:42

The CF ordering bottles are primarily to blame, but the bar staff seem poorly trained and the hotel should have asked whether there were any conditions, and advised that having some limits as to what can be ordered is a good idea.

HelloDulling · 22/11/2021 14:43

Bloody hell. It's not the fault of the bar staff, though.

Toottooot · 22/11/2021 14:44

The guests are to blame. If you have guests who are notorious for taking the piss this should have made clear to the venue.

thenightsky · 22/11/2021 14:44

@KittenCatcher

If they have a list of all the people who attended I would put out a message to everyone saying they hoped everyone enjoyed themselves, it was wonderful to see everyone but you are saddened that some guests ran the free bar dry by ordering full bottles of spirits which left many guests having to pay for drinks themselves.
Definitely do this! Shame the cheeky fuckers.
MrsTerryPratchett · 22/11/2021 14:48

@HelloDulling

Bloody hell. It's not the fault of the bar staff, though.
It is if they were telling people to buy bottles deliberately to make more money.
Rosemaryandlemon · 22/11/2021 14:50

I think hotel was in the wrong in not having a discussion before hand. We had a free bar at our wedding. Hotel had a discussion things like “do you want only singles not doubles, what about shots, champagne etc?”

However guests were far more in the wrong if this happened. Are you sure it definitely did? I’m just surprised it wasn’t noticed by yourself or other guests on the night (who then would have mentioned it on the night). I would have definitely said something probably more in a “oh are people ordering bottles now as the bar is shutting later? Are they putting them somewhere so it is self-service later on?”

Cynical me wonders if the hotel might have not put everything through the till and then just done some rounding up (oh a bottle of cognac etc).

KittenCatcher · 22/11/2021 14:51

Buying bottles might be cheaper, maybe someone was ordering Remy Martin at £5 a shot, asked how much a bottle cost and it worked out cheaper. People take the piss.

Tippexy · 22/11/2021 14:53

@dementedpixie - this thread is in AIBU. The poster asked, “AIBU to think the hotel is in the wrong?” I replied that I thought the poster was indeed BU. This is how this section works Smile

lockdownalli · 22/11/2021 14:55

The blame really lies with those who took the piss and ordered bottles of spirits.

How many people were attending? Was £1500 a bit optimistic anyway if it was a big do?

FinallyFluid · 22/11/2021 14:56

That is the ultimate in chav behaviour.