To think the hotel is in the wrong?

[MiddayMass]

My sister and her husband had their 10 year anniversary party at a local hotel yesterday. They had a free bar on them, £1500 tab.

Dsis was suspicious over some things as tab was sucked dry very quickly and she’d seen people at the bar and yet not with a drink at the table, so she asked for a receipt of everything ordered throughout the night.

It’s turns out somebody (or several people) were buying full bottles directly from the bar. Not just wines but spirits, one cheeky fucker bought an entire bottle of Remy Martin. Others only got chance to have a lime and soda or a coke on the tab before it was sucked up. A few late-arrivals got fuck-all.

Me and Dsis both suspect who the culprits are but we can’t really prove it.

Dsis has spoken to the manager who confirmed that people were buying bottles on the tab (this amazes me, surely it breaks some kind of licensing law) and that they did not see it as a problem as Dsis and her husband never specified that they wanted it limited. Dsis feels it was a given. We’ve also heard from a family friend that one of the bar staff was telling people “You can buy the bottle if you’d like?” when they ordered the same spirit more than once. We feel it was an obvious attempt to suck the tab dry quickly to get people buying drinks again. The bar staff looked barely 18 so I imagine the manager had told them to upsell bottles.

Whilst people were cheeky fuckers, AIBU to think the hotel was in the wrong?

[quote Tippexy]@dementedpixie - this thread is in AIBU. The poster asked, “AIBU to think the hotel is in the wrong?” I replied that I thought the poster was indeed BU. This is how this section works [/quote]
Yeah and @dementedpixie asked why you thought OP was BU. I think she knows how AIBU works 😂

[quote Tippexy]@dementedpixie - this thread is in AIBU. The poster asked, “AIBU to think the hotel is in the wrong?” I replied that I thought the poster was indeed BU. This is how this section works [/quote]
I'm not an imbecile
I'm asking why you think they are unreasonable

Well, I, at least, have learnt from this.
It would never have occurred to me that some would have ordered a whole bottle of spirit!
If involved in anything like this (and I have attended more than one DGC christening, which involved some kind of tab.)
I will, know now, to ensure (advise my DC) that some kind of limit on drinks is imposed, or a voucher system, (or some of the suggestions others have given)

DrinkFeckArseBrick is right. As the consumer, spending a lot of money, I would have expected the manager to guide you. We had a similar arrangement at our wedding, and the manager specifically suggested we restrict the tab to soft drinks, beer, cider or house wine. We wouldn't have thought to do so without their recommendation.

That said, I don't think your DSis has much come back, because best practice isn't the same as contractual obligation.

I think the hotel are at fault but not in the wrong. Technically they didn't nothing wrong, but if they were decent, they would have discussed it with the couple when organising the tab or when someone ordered a bottle of spirits, the manager should have asked the couple if they were ok with that.
I'd be really annoyed but I'm not sure if there is much come back.

@HelloDulling

Bloody hell. It's not the fault of the bar staff, though.

It totally is.

It's obvious that the cost of bottles of spirits will soon run the bar dry. Anyone with half a brain cell would know not to let people at a free bar buy bottles of spirits.

@milveycrohn

Well, I, at least, have learnt from this. It would never have occurred to me that some would have ordered a whole bottle of spirit! If involved in anything like this (and I have attended more than one DGC christening, which involved some kind of tab.) I will, know now, to ensure (advise my DC) that some kind of limit on drinks is imposed, or a voucher system, (or some of the suggestions others have given)

I also knew none of this, but the hotel where I got married had the decency to suggest guidelines for our free bar.

I think every function I have been to that has a limited amount put behind the bar has a few CF - people who get there early and line up their drinks for the night before other guests get a look in.

The hotel should have set some expectations. They are the experts who will have seen these types of functions on many occassions and know how long the money usually lasts and what options you have to ensure everyone gets a drink (ie, you could have a drink tied to the invite). Also, they should have discussed things like whether people can order doubles or bottles (relevant in this case).

I would put in a complaint but not expect them to take responsibility.

@Kebabandchipsplease

just to clarify, each bar would have a sign showing what measures they sell in ie 25 or 35ml, or multiples thereof.

Therefore, if they sold a bottle of 1l so vodka say, they are only allowed to charge 1l/25ml = 40 measures. So if it were £3 a measure then they can charge £120 for the bottle. They are not allowed to make it cheaper by offering a discount on the whole bottle as this falls foul of licencing laws.

How many guests were there, and how many bottles were bought OP? Using the example above, 3 or 4 CFs can still only drink so much? Did they get in early, get 5l and leave the other 46 guests with the rest of the tab between them and pass out in half an hour?

OP, the tabloids will love this. FWIW, I think the hotel was most definitely in the wrong. At a minimum, they should have asked the hosts was it okay to be handing out bottles of spirits, on their tab.
But they should have known it wasn't okay in the first place.

As for those who were taking advantage, words fail me.

When I got married nearly 25 years ago and had a free bar the hotel staff said no doubles and no shots would be allowed, Tab lasted most of night.
Your sister is very generous (I’ve been to weddings and had to buy every single drink). It’s a shame those invited took the piss out of her generosity.

about the only time i can see this being acceptable is if people are doing a load of shots (say jaegerbomb) when i suppose you buy the bottle rather than 30 individual shots and all do them together

(yes, thats my work do!)

How do you even know people actually had bottles and the bar didn't just put them through and took them home. Surely someone in the bridal party would have seen BOTTLE TAKER? Can the party ask guests to confirm they had the bottles "as they are worried bill is wrong"

While the cheeky fucker guests should be ashamed of themselves, I think bar staff saying “You can buy the bottle if you’d like?” is a pretty blatant attempt to upsell; or, more charitably, staff thinking they were being helpful but not really thinking it through.

I would check whether it breaks the licensing laws. If it does then you can go straight in with that. If not, point out that as they are the professional side of the operation and you the customer, they should have been crystal clear when making the arrangements what the terms of the bar were.

In short: some of the guests were greedy and out of order; but the hotel should have known better. I'd pursue it further.

The hotel are not in the wrong. You simply specified a tab, not any restrictions on how it was to be used.

Take it up with the people abusing the tab.

Rude guests. Really rude & greedy guests. I don't think your sister can blame the hotel.

I'm asking why you think they are unreasonable
I think OP is unreasonable. It might have been a better service to the sister if the hotel had checked if they had any limits on it but doesn't mean they were wrong. Blame lies squarely on the shoulders of OP's DS's arsehole friends and family who are absolute pisstakers.

I don't think there will be any comeback on the hotel unless they explicitly told the bar/have in writing they were buying the first drink/two drinks only.

I would spend my energy tracking down the cf who bought the full bottles and telling them clearly they are a cf and the consequences of their selfishness meant I was very embarrassed that other guests did not enjoy a drink on us and extremely hurt they took such blatant advantage of me on my wedding day.

It is if they were telling people to buy bottles deliberately to make more money.

If they were quite young bar staff (or even if they weren't), they might just have been acting as they normally do, as if people were each paying for their own drinks. I've been places where, if you buy more than one glass from a bottle, they will offer you to buy the whole bottle at a discounted rate, which many people would choose to do.

I wonder if some people don't quite realise that a 'free' bar means that the hosts have put money behind it: maybe there are those who think you pay a set fee per guest to hire the venue including as many free drinks as your guests want, with the risk being borne by the venue and not your friends whose party it is.

Sadly, though, things like this will often make people go one of two ways: either deliberately ordering a cheaper drink than they would if paying themselves, so as not to take advantage; or going at it hammer and tongs and filling their boots like there's no tomorrow.

@DeliriaSkibbly

The hotel are not in the wrong. You simply specified a tab, not any restrictions on how it was to be used.

Take it up with the people abusing the tab.

so if guest one at the bar had said 10 bottles of champagne (£150 each) they should have just served them and then said TAB CLOSED, PAY FOR IT?

surely the hotel should not allow that, unless it was bride/groom ordering it?

the hotel is not really to blame. I have organised a lot of big events with a paid for bar. The organiser always has to assume people with take the p.... and specify conditions. We used to say no champagne or top end spirits and certainly bottle only. People can be awful. Depending on the number of guests £1,500 wouldn't go very far.

some of the guests were greedy and out of order; but the hotel should have known better

Thread closed

We had a free bar at our wedding, the manager immediately asked "what about spirits, what about doubles, what about bottles". We didn't have a clue, had he not asked us to decide those groundrules we would have had no idea. We were clueless 25 year olds who worked in offices, neither of us had any experience so were completely reliant on the manager and bar staff who did.

I think the problem is the guests that took such liberties. Legally you can buy a bottle of spirits in a pub. Lesson learned to all readers of this forum - stipulate to the hotel/restaurant/bar if you are having a free bar, singles only!

YABU. Agree with those who as saying the blame lies with those ordering such bottles.

I used to work at a wedding venue and on the (few) occasions we had an open bar there were often restrictions - no doubles, house wine only, no queuing up of drinks, no top shelf spirits... Sadly you do have to expect some people to take the mick. Perhaps the bar should have advised using some of these rules upon booking, but ultimately it isn't their fault if they 'sold' guests bottles if it wasn't prohibited.

I would have to follow up the hotel whether it's true that staff were suggesting buying full bottles as that's totally taking the piss. Mostly though the blame lies with the CF who took the free drinks themselves.

I like the suggestion above for the message to send round

They should have the details of everyone who attended. I'd frame it along the lines of asking people if anyone was ordering whole bottles (you're sure they wouldn't be taking advantage like this) as you think the hotel were being shady and putting full bottles through on the tab. Obviously you don't think anyone would do this so can they all confirm before we take it further with the hotel, request CCTV etc as you feel as though the hotel has effectively stolen via the tab.