To think the hotel is in the wrong?

[MiddayMass]

My sister and her husband had their 10 year anniversary party at a local hotel yesterday. They had a free bar on them, £1500 tab.

Dsis was suspicious over some things as tab was sucked dry very quickly and she’d seen people at the bar and yet not with a drink at the table, so she asked for a receipt of everything ordered throughout the night.

It’s turns out somebody (or several people) were buying full bottles directly from the bar. Not just wines but spirits, one cheeky fucker bought an entire bottle of Remy Martin. Others only got chance to have a lime and soda or a coke on the tab before it was sucked up. A few late-arrivals got fuck-all.

Me and Dsis both suspect who the culprits are but we can’t really prove it.

Dsis has spoken to the manager who confirmed that people were buying bottles on the tab (this amazes me, surely it breaks some kind of licensing law) and that they did not see it as a problem as Dsis and her husband never specified that they wanted it limited. Dsis feels it was a given. We’ve also heard from a family friend that one of the bar staff was telling people “You can buy the bottle if you’d like?” when they ordered the same spirit more than once. We feel it was an obvious attempt to suck the tab dry quickly to get people buying drinks again. The bar staff looked barely 18 so I imagine the manager had told them to upsell bottles.

Whilst people were cheeky fuckers, AIBU to think the hotel was in the wrong?

I'm sorry that your relations have friends who would abuse their hospitality this way, but the hotel out of order promoting whole bottles without their express consent. The hotel should have covered that all with your relations first.

Didn't stop one drunk guest coming up to us with 2 bottles of dom perignon stuffed in each pocket of his jacket and hissing to us 'get some champagne to take back with you... it's free '.

Everyone knows what a bar tab means. Everyone knows that ordering full bottles of spirits and expecting the bride/groom to pay is not on.

Most people do, but it's astonishing how many people struggle to understand what should be blindingly obvious - especially when already very 'refreshed' - and will actually boast to the person picking up the bill/urge them to 'cash in' too.

Hotel in the wrong - as a previous poster said, they are the experts - they will have seen it all before, and absolutely should have checked with hosts whether they wanted to put rules in place to avoid cheeky fuckery.

Out of interest, did the people buying bottles of spirits on the tab drink them at the hotel, or take them home?

At work rather than personal functions I have had similar. We put money behind the bar to have some people ordering twenty year old Port/vintage champagne. A good bar should have discussed with you what the conditions were. However, the blame here lies with whoever took the piss.

I think I'd round Robin the guests saying the Hotel are claiming X number of top shelf bottles were bought we just wanted to confirm this as we think they are possibly lying. If you either bought a bottle rather a drink or saw someone else do so please let us know before we take further action against the hotel. Honestly my money is on the Hitel/staf/rogue bar tender over a guest buying an entire bottle of very expensive brandy

There is also the potential of a venue seeing a maximum 'free bar' as theirs by right, and being eager to swallow it up as 'efficiently' as they can - like the many rental landlords who view a tenant's damage deposit as their bonus, and see it as up to them to 'make sure' that it is accounted for as a technicality, one way or another.

I don't know about where this party was held, but where I live the hotel has some responsibility when serving alcohol. For example, I think they must cut off customers who are clearly very intoxicated.

A party host also has responsibilities not to hand the keys for a car to a drunk person.

Employers have taken steps to make sure that drunk employees are not leaving work parties drunk and driving a car. Homeowners too. Some high profile cases have involved teens.

Surely the hotel should have been more responsible and not sold whole bottles of spirits.

And they need policies that apply to such events. A completely open bar is an invitation to disaster.

@Brainwave89

At work rather than personal functions I have had similar. We put money behind the bar to have some people ordering twenty year old Port/vintage champagne. A good bar should have discussed with you what the conditions were. However, the blame here lies with whoever took the piss.

The blame lies with both. The hotel are the professionals and they failed in a key aspect of their service.

I’ve never, ever heard of anyone ordering a bottle before. What an absolute CF.

I work in hospitality and this sounds really off. Clearly the cfs who bought said bottles were to blame, but unless it's a nightclub or something, it's really weird to sell people bottles of spirits. More so when it's a free bar.

I'd be peeved with the hotel too.

The hotel are the professionals and they failed in a key aspect of their service.

It would have been helpful for them to have suggested putting limits in place, but it isn't incumbent on a profit-making business to deliberately put themselves out in order to limit the amount of profit they end up making.

I think this is really down to Dsis & her DH. I’ve done quite a few events like this (staff dos for work + a few of our own personal events) & I ALWAYS specify what can go on the tab. People take the piss unfortunately. It’s not the hotel’s job to police the guests. That said, most places I’ve done something like this would usually ask questions about this but I don’t feel like it’s their job.

It depends on the spend per head, I guess.

If 150 guests = £10 budget each.

So a couple taking a £20 bottle of wine between them, or - less likely - a table of 10 asking for a bottle of gin for £80 & 20 split mixer tonics at a quid a go, which they proceeded to share, each having 3 G&Ts, would actually be fair enough.

It's hard to imagine it ever being reasonable to order a bottle of Remy at bar prices, unless it was for 20 or so guests & they just all took it in turns to sniff the cork...

Hosts were naive, hotel was incompetent, small number of guests were CFers I'd say, but I doubt anyone has much comeback with nothing in writing. Other than giving the hotel a fairly pointed review, I suppose.

It wouldn’t even occur to me you could buy bottles of spirits at a bar

It depends on what the agreement was with the hotel.

But as your family did not specify any limitations on the bar then I don't see how the hotel have done anything wrong.

When I have been at 'free' bars before the drinks were usually limited to wine, bottles of beer and soft drinks.

If the bar staff was really telling people to get bottles then, of course, it's the hotel's fault.

I have NEVER been to a free bar event in my life (only ones with welcome drinks or toasts and I use to go to several Galas per year for my job) but if I was at one and the bar staff was telling me to take that whole bottle instead of clogging up the bar standing in line again and again then I would assume that's what you suppose to do since the server said that's what you should do.

For the record, I personally think it's rude but I regularly see people take the entire bottle of wine meant for multiple toasts to keep to themselves using people like me as an excuse (it doesn't affect me as I don't drink wine so they argue non-drinker like me will 'make up the difference') so while it's crass and greedy its really not uncommon.

The bar staff are only following the instructions of the management
So the management should have been on the case and got a brief from the organiser to pass on to their staff.

to be fair, a free bar restricted to cheap drinks isn't really in their financial interests So they shouldn't take one on then

It would have been helpful for them to have suggested putting limits in place, but it isn't incumbent on a profit-making business to deliberately put themselves out in order to limit the amount of profit they end up making.
Not 'helpful' –part of the job.

I don't get all these people bending over backwards to excuse the hotel. They're meant to be the professionals.

To the people giving examples like 'purchasing 10 x £150 bottles of champagne' that is simply reductio ad absurdum

The hotel could have been more helpful and suggested specifying what drinks were covered and so on, that is not in doubt.

But the hotel are not in the wrong. They simply carried out the wishes of the people funding the tab.

The fact of the matter is that the people abusing the tab are in the wrong, but in a typically British way, rather than grasp the nettle people are trying to blame the hotel. Blame the people who bought whole bottles of spirits, abusing your hospitality.

But the hotel are not in the wrong. They simply carried out the wishes of the people funding the tab.
They did not KNOW – as in bother to find out – the wishes of the people funding the tab.
The obvious first question to 'can we set up a free bar please?' is 'Sure, what conditions specifically? Just beer and wine? spirits? softs?'

the people abusing the tab are in the wrong, but in a typically British way, rather than grasp the nettle people are trying to blame the hotel. Blame the people who bought whole bottles of spirits, abusing your hospitality.
The people abusing the tab took the piss, yes. But they wouldn't have been able to do so if the hotel had got their (and their client's) ducks in a row.

How many people were at the do OP?

I’ve heard f this happen to a couple of people.
CF ordering bottles of champagne and spirits as there was a bar tab.

The CF guests are to blame. No decent person would screw their friends in this way.

@KittenCatcher

If they have a list of all the people who attended I would put out a message to everyone saying they hoped everyone enjoyed themselves, it was wonderful to see everyone but you are saddened that some guests ran the free bar dry by ordering full bottles of spirits which left many guests having to pay for drinks themselves.

Def say this !!

So wrong

We did free bar at our wedding in July

And provided wine on tables

Some did doubles but otherwise all fine

Never heard of bar allowing bottle to be brought of spirits

One of my businesses is a licensed venue. We frequently hold events with tabs. Rules are single spirits only, no full bottles. The hotel although technically not in the wrong we’re a bit shady on this occasion

@IntermittentParps

But the hotel are not in the wrong. They simply carried out the wishes of the people funding the tab. They did not KNOW – as in bother to find out – the wishes of the people funding the tab. The obvious first question to 'can we set up a free bar please?' is 'Sure, what conditions specifically? Just beer and wine? spirits? softs?'

the people abusing the tab are in the wrong, but in a typically British way, rather than grasp the nettle people are trying to blame the hotel. Blame the people who bought whole bottles of spirits, abusing your hospitality.
The people abusing the tab took the piss, yes. But they wouldn't have been able to do so if the hotel had got their (and their client's) ducks in a row.

Well that's a bit like saying "The person who stabbed my friend wouldn't have been able to do so if the shop hadn't sold him the knife".

It's true, but it's a ridiculous statement.