To think the hotel is in the wrong?

[MiddayMass]

My sister and her husband had their 10 year anniversary party at a local hotel yesterday. They had a free bar on them, £1500 tab.

Dsis was suspicious over some things as tab was sucked dry very quickly and she’d seen people at the bar and yet not with a drink at the table, so she asked for a receipt of everything ordered throughout the night.

It’s turns out somebody (or several people) were buying full bottles directly from the bar. Not just wines but spirits, one cheeky fucker bought an entire bottle of Remy Martin. Others only got chance to have a lime and soda or a coke on the tab before it was sucked up. A few late-arrivals got fuck-all.

Me and Dsis both suspect who the culprits are but we can’t really prove it.

Dsis has spoken to the manager who confirmed that people were buying bottles on the tab (this amazes me, surely it breaks some kind of licensing law) and that they did not see it as a problem as Dsis and her husband never specified that they wanted it limited. Dsis feels it was a given. We’ve also heard from a family friend that one of the bar staff was telling people “You can buy the bottle if you’d like?” when they ordered the same spirit more than once. We feel it was an obvious attempt to suck the tab dry quickly to get people buying drinks again. The bar staff looked barely 18 so I imagine the manager had told them to upsell bottles.

Whilst people were cheeky fuckers, AIBU to think the hotel was in the wrong?

@DeliriaSkibbly

To the people giving examples like 'purchasing 10 x £150 bottles of champagne' that is simply reductio ad absurdum

The hotel could have been more helpful and suggested specifying what drinks were covered and so on, that is not in doubt.

But the hotel are not in the wrong. They simply carried out the wishes of the people funding the tab.

The fact of the matter is that the people abusing the tab are in the wrong, but in a typically British way, rather than grasp the nettle people are trying to blame the hotel. Blame the people who bought whole bottles of spirits, abusing your hospitality.

I'm not British.

I believe that the hotel was in the wrong.

The guests are obviously to blame, but I would hold the venue responsible as well.
I've been involved in planning numerous events and have always been asked at the planning stage what should be included in the free bar with typical exclusions being: no doubles, no cocktails, no top-shelf spirits. Now that I think of it, no venue has ever specifically excluded full bottles of spirits and I think this is because outside nightclubs this is not.a.thing. Nobody on this thread thinks it's a thing and the staff should definitely know better. I would definitely take it up with the venue on the basis that the staff were inadequately trained. At the point where someone ordered a bottle the staff member should have checked with the bar manager who should have checked with the hosts.

What a scabby family!

We had an open bar for our wedding. We had to encourage people to use it!

£1500 for a really big do though… optimistic!

@CharityDingle

Do you believe in the tooth fairy as well ?

I agree it’s cheeky fuckery from some of the guests. I also think it’s partly the bars fault. We always have open bars at our family functions and whatever venue we’re at will always ask us to specify what it is we want, beforehand. Most of the time we keep it to soft drinks, single shots, glasses of wine, no champagne. If people want more expensive things they’re free to order themselves. The last venue, for example, came and told us we were down to the last £500. They also suggested loads of different options for us.

* Dsis was suspicious over some things as tab was sucked dry very quickly and she’d seen people at the bar and yet not with a drink at the table,*

Bloody hell.
What a shit way to spend your party

Well that's a bit like saying "The person who stabbed my friend wouldn't have been able to do so if the shop hadn't sold him the knife".

It's true, but it's a ridiculous statement.
They're hardly comparable examples

I’ve never been to a party where drinks were included. Certainly wouldn’t have though bottles would be sold. Definitely not in the spirit of things. I have been at a conference where wine and beer were free but not spirits.

@IntermittentParps

Well that's a bit like saying "The person who stabbed my friend wouldn't have been able to do so if the shop hadn't sold him the knife".

It's true, but it's a ridiculous statement.
They're hardly comparable examples

No, but the logic is precisely the same.

Nobody is saying the Hotel couldn't have done better - clearly they could. But they are not responsible for the behaviour of the guests who so clearly have abused the OP's kindness and generosity.

The OP is clearly upset. I would be too. But I would be taking it up with the people ordering bottles of spirits.

Hotels do lots of weddings and events, they should know to clarify what the tab includes. Also, it's common sense that the hosts are not going to want bottles of spirits on the tab. Not saying young barstaff should know but managers should train them to say no to these kind of requests.

The logic doesn't matter a jot. The point is (as you say) that the hotel could have done better.
And I strongly suspect they did it deliberately, to make more money. Very shady indeed.

It may not be against the law but it's certainly against the spirit (sorry...) of licensing regulations, which very clearly set out to prevent excess drinking. Drinks should not be sold to drunk people for example - which obviously is NOT a rule that is observed much of the time - nor drinking games encouraged. Selling bottles to people asking for shots is encouraging excess drinking.

If I were your sister, I would say that I'd be raising this with their licensing authority as I was concerned that the staff were acting against licencing guidance - selling an individual an entire bottle of spirits is not responsible. Licence holders also have an onus to ensure that people know what the smallest measure on sale of any drink is, which is pretty much the opposite of what has happened here.

To blame the bride and groom for failing to anticipate that the bar staff would encourage their guests to buy full bottles of spirits is not fair. Any decent venue would proactively establish what would and would not be sold on tab.

Good point @Doubleraspberry. That's true re licensing laws and I'm sure when I did my training that I read that you aren't meant to sell large quantities of alcohol at once. It's in the guidelines we use... I don't often sell alcohol as I usually am on breakfast shift, so that's why I'm a bit vague!

When I was a hotel manager I saw guests do this to their own family, I even commented on it - "You know this isn't free, your uncle is paying for everything" and they usually didn't care. Fill yer boots is a lot of peoples attitudes and it is very upsetting but rarely the hotel staff - usually the guests.

selling an individual an entire bottle of spirits is not responsible

Really? I'm sure that's news to Sainsbury's. I bought a bottle of gin and two other spirits/fortified wines at once last week.

The people who ordered the drinks are the ones in the wrong and utterly awful.

However when we did a free bar for my mums 70th they asked us if we wanted a limit eg no champagne or no bottles of wine or whatever which I would have though would be usual for a venue to check. And even if they didn’t check when you set it up I’d expect them to check about a full bottle of spirits. To be actively encouraging people sounds dreadful and as you say to ramp up the takings

So I think both your greedy relatives and the hotel are out of order.

@ElftonWednesday

selling an individual an entire bottle of spirits is not responsible

Really? I'm sure that's news to Sainsbury's. I bought a bottle of gin and two other spirits/fortified wines at once last week.

And were you expected to drink that by 11pm that night? As that's what a pub is licenced to sell. An off-licence is entirely different.

why doesn't your Sis ask the person she suspects to confirm if they did have the bottle of Remy? (or groom depending on the side of family/friends) "just to check the bill is right"

As honestly, could you be friends with someone who did that? (or it could be family you had to invite). And better to know than suspect various people.

I’d ask to see the cctv and identify who the greedy pigs are

We had a free bar at our wedding and we agreed with the venue beforehand what would be served (single measures, wine, beer, soft drinks). It lasted most of the night fortunately but we did have issues with one of DH’s grabby relatives sitting at the bar the whole night asking for repeated shots of expensive whiskey and trying to get the bar staff to give him doubles and triples.

@ElftonWednesday

selling an individual an entire bottle of spirits is not responsible

Really? I'm sure that's news to Sainsbury's. I bought a bottle of gin and two other spirits/fortified wines at once last week.

The licensing laws are not the same for supermarkets and pubs/hotels/restaurants/bars etc - where there are legal requirements for the quantities/measurements that specific types of alcohol can be sold in eg: beer - pint/half pint, gin/whisky - 25ml/35ml, wine sold by the glass etc.

They're not allowed to use irresponsible promotions like all you can drink for a tenner or BOGOF.

The blame does not lie with the hotel unless the hosts said the bar staff were not to sell full bottles and they ignored the stipulation.

I've always know bars to sell bottles of spirits, they should tell the customers that it will be expensive though, as they price them by the individual drinks they would have sold, so a £10 bottle would cost £60- £100. With regard to this party, once someone does it, others will follow as they know the free tab will soon be spent.

The hotel should have clarified whether you were happy to let people buy full bottles. Ours asked us if we were happy for the money we’d put behind the bar to be spent on double spirits or if they should only allow singles.

I wouldn’t blame the hotel though, it’s your guests that chose to take the piss, knowing that they were being cheeky. It’s them I’d be angry at.

It is common sense that providing bottles of extremely expensive alcohol on tab, especially to guests who have not directly asked for it is not ok.

Legally they may be in the clear but it’s a very shoddy move by the venue and a clear attempt to run through the provided money fast and start selling again.

I’m shocked at some of the replies and am re evaluating the volume of CF’s who populate MN

A glass of expensive alcohol is acceptable, if you genuinely would have purchased that for yourself but hearing ‘free bar’ and thinking ‘wahoooo’ is utterly tacky.