To think the hotel is in the wrong?

[MiddayMass]

My sister and her husband had their 10 year anniversary party at a local hotel yesterday. They had a free bar on them, £1500 tab.

Dsis was suspicious over some things as tab was sucked dry very quickly and she’d seen people at the bar and yet not with a drink at the table, so she asked for a receipt of everything ordered throughout the night.

It’s turns out somebody (or several people) were buying full bottles directly from the bar. Not just wines but spirits, one cheeky fucker bought an entire bottle of Remy Martin. Others only got chance to have a lime and soda or a coke on the tab before it was sucked up. A few late-arrivals got fuck-all.

Me and Dsis both suspect who the culprits are but we can’t really prove it.

Dsis has spoken to the manager who confirmed that people were buying bottles on the tab (this amazes me, surely it breaks some kind of licensing law) and that they did not see it as a problem as Dsis and her husband never specified that they wanted it limited. Dsis feels it was a given. We’ve also heard from a family friend that one of the bar staff was telling people “You can buy the bottle if you’d like?” when they ordered the same spirit more than once. We feel it was an obvious attempt to suck the tab dry quickly to get people buying drinks again. The bar staff looked barely 18 so I imagine the manager had told them to upsell bottles.

Whilst people were cheeky fuckers, AIBU to think the hotel was in the wrong?

I think I'd be pretty peeved that the hotel hadn't a) flagged it up when it happened initially or ideally b) flagged this up as a limit I ought to put on. I'm not a hospitality specialist and I didn't even know hotels were allowed to sell full bottles of spirits tbh. I'd expect them to flag pitfalls like that just like I'm expected to as a specialist.

The hotel absolutely should not have been telling people to have a whole bottle, the guests may have thought it was okayed by the hosts for people to do so, I'd seriously be looking for some form of compensation after that! The staff where absolutely trying to use up the tab then make more money

CF’s are wrong but I’d expect hotel
to flag it up.

If people were requesting a full bottle of spirit, I would have fully expected the bar staff to let the tab owner know as this is taking the piss. Poor bar staff in my opinion but not sure what legal comeback you could possibly have. I would make a fuss though. As to the people taking the bottle of spirits........ beyond contempt.

I’ve paid for free bars, and bar managers have always specified what I want including and what I don’t.
So I’m surprised your Sister / BIL didn’t have a similar discussion in advance with their bar manager.

We had a generous but not unlimited tab on the bar at our wedding - the owner nipped over quite early in the evening and said that someone had asked for a glass of vintage malt whisky - he'd been served but was it OK in future because that would run the tab down very quickly? (Mate who'd ordered it was being thoughtless rather than actively cheeky) I had a quick think and said to take the menu with the posh drinks away and stick to the standard beer/wine/spirits. That's the sign of a well run venue IMO.

The main culprits were the graspy fuckers.

The hotel should also have clarified with your sis and DH what the terms entailed re the open bar but that is with the glory of hindsight. I wouldn’t dream of this sort of carry on and I know my family wouldn’t.

Me? If I thought my friends and family were this greedy, I wouldn’t be saying a word and would be very tempted to repay the favour at the next event with the finest bottle of champagne de handbagge.

In the real world? I’d be sending out a carefully worded but absolutely scathing email thanking the suspects for their attendance and their cuntery.

They should have specified no bottles. This is on the cheeky fucker guests and down to the hosts' unclear communication with the staff at the hotel. YABU.

We paid for a free bar for a party and the manager recommended that it should be restricted to glasses of wine and beer. Any spirits / weird cocktails etc requested to be paid for.

He also said don't let the band have any free drinks because they can go overboard. We did and they didn't!

The guests are arseholes but the hotel sound like they were pushing it and putting the idea in to their heads.

I didn’t know it was a thing to be able to buy a bottle and in over 23 years of going to pubs and bars, functions etc I’ve never seen anyone with a bottle of spirit.

No wonder your family member wouldn’t have thought to sat not to sell bottles….

I do think the hotel have behaved poorly and shouldn’t have been offering bottles in the first place without your permission.

Obviously it’s the fault of their so called friends or family that took advantage of their generosity. They were also totally naive. We had a semi open bar at our wedding and whilst I would never expect anyone to take the piss like that, I did talk to the bar manager and set limits like sticking to singles of house spirits and medium glasses of the house wine only. I do also think the bar staff should have said something but they’re the least to blame here. If the hosts just said £1500 behind the bar and set no other limits than that’s on them and their CF guests.

Your fault. You didn’t specify and now you want to blame someone.

Quite simply, get better friends and not users and be specific to anyone providing you a service.

I think there’s joint blame here

1. The hotel for offering (if the did) or handing out whole bottles
2. The cfs who took the bottles
3. A little bit your relatives for not stating “just serve one drink at a time”, but like them I think it would’ve been standard

80% to blame are the CFs. What a hard neck

But 20% hotel should have flagged it up with you DS

It would never ever cross my mind that people would be buying whole bottles of spirits.
The hotel when first asked should have said 'not sure, need to check with bill payer' if it hadn't been pre-discussed.
Disgraceful behaviour by the guests.

If the £1500 is used up quickly, then the hotel is in a win because people will have to start topping up the till. A total win for them.

As much as I think the culprits are the greedy fecks, they really should have told you about the bottles being handed out.

The hotel are in the wrong if they were offering bottles to guests in the first place. I'm sure the guests wouldn't just randomly ask for a bottle of spirits without a suggestion from the bar staff.

As others have said reputable places make sure there are rules in place with an open bar, no doubles etc... so I think you have grounds to complain.

Also did the guests know there was a limit on the bar? They might not of known it would run out.

It's not for the hotel to discuss the conditions for the tab but for the hosts. Its their money, they need to specify. At my wedding, with an open bar, I told the venue what was allowed, everything but doubles and bottles. I'm sorry but it's the hosts and their guests fault not the hotel.

If I was doing a free bar it wouldn't have crossed my mind to have to stipulate not to buy entire bottles or vintage champagne or anything.
I think the relatives are to blame but the hotel staff a. Shouldn't have been encouraging this and b. Should have procedures to keep an eye on this type of thing. It isn't great for anyone if the bar runs dry in the first 10 min because someone has ordered a case of champagne or something. When I've been to places with a free bar the bar has encouraged rules in place to make it fair (eg give out vouchers per person) establish rules (basic drinks only so no cocktails etc) and they have also approached the organisers when the tab has looked like it was going to run out quicker than expected (a 'just to let you know you're half way through already' type thing). If you've never organised an event like this before then I'd expect the experts that you're paying to provide the service to give you some advice on how to manage it and that means making suggestions such as vouchers or similar (I've been to one where you had to tick off drinks against your name as got 3 each etc)

Actually, I think the hotel is in the wrong if they were upselling and suggesting that people could buy an entire bottle of spirits. It's not normal practice to sell spirits by the bottle, apart from in nightclubs, so I wouldn't think to tell the hotel not to allow it at a party. I wonder what would happen if you went to the hotel and ordered 5 double gin and tonics? Would they normally offer to sell you the entire bottle? Does their usual drinks menu have spirits listed for sale by the bottle?

It is also seems incredibly irresponsible to sell an entire bottle of spirits to one person for personal consumption. That's about 30 units of alcohol. I guess it depends whether they were making the suggestion to people who were ordering a second vodka and coke or only if someone was buying a round of 10 tequila shots. If they were upselling bottles of spirits to individuals buying single drinks, they were either selling them a dangerous amount of alcohol if they drank it at the party or expecting them to take the half drunk bottle home. I wonder if they are licensed to allow that?

That doesn't excuse the CFs who took then up on the offer, although it depends on the circumstances. Often it is cheaper to buy a bottle than single drinks. There are about 16 shots in a bottle of spirits so if a large group ordered a bottle to share so it works out as 1 or 2 drinks per person, maybe it wasn't cheeky after all. They might have thought they were saving money by doing it that way.

@Chely

The hotel should have informed the hosts that they needed to specify by the glass only on tab orders. The CF who took advantage are more to blame than anyone though.

Other way round, it's on the hosts to let the hotel know what they can serve on the tab

If you've never organised an event like this before then I'd expect the experts that you're paying to provide the service to give you some advice on how to manage it and that means making suggestions such as vouchers or similar (I've been to one where you had to tick off drinks against your name as got 3 each etc)

That. ^ might have been helpful.

@Figgyboa

It's not for the hotel to discuss the conditions for the tab but for the hosts. Its their money, they need to specify. At my wedding, with an open bar, I told the venue what was allowed, everything but doubles and bottles. I'm sorry but it's the hosts and their guests fault not the hotel.

See, I completely disagree with this wrt the hosts/hotel.

The hotel are the 'experts' in running events and bar tabs.
They are therefore the ones that know the different options and the pitfalls of these options.
It is therefore the job of the hotel to inform the hosts so they can make an informed decision, not just keep quiet and sell bottles of spirits.