To be a bit wtf at this home bargains christmas jumper?

[Effinell]

I seen this when I was in store today and it just didn't sit right with me. I do have a neurodiverse DD so that might be colouring my view slightly.

I totally agree with you - I don’t think the jumper is deliberately making fun of autistic meltdowns. But the fact that there is a thread about it means it’s upsetting to some people who are either affected by autistic meltdowns or feel empathetic to their upset. The jumper slogan has made light of something that some people feel is really debilitating. That’s why we’re all talking about it, surely.

However, just because some people find something offensive or triggering, Doesn't mean its offensive.

I find the 'be kind' slogan offensive. For many reasons. Including that people who are ND often get the shitty end of that stick. But also because it's incredibly sexist. It's only ever said to women. Men aren't expected or told to be kind.

Its also something my abusive ech would say to me if I stood up for myself. I wasn't 'kind' to him.

Again, that doesn't mean it can't be used. It doesn't mean some people can't like it. It doesn't mean that some people won't get why I dislike it. Some people love the message.

Just because someone finds something offensive or triggering, it doesn't mean they are right and that it should disappear.

Imo, if ypu know someone who is upset by it, you should be trying to explain that that word is not exclusive to the ND community and it is nor aimed at them. As people have done here.

This thread shows that quite a lot of people believe, incorrectly, that it is a medical term and/or exclusive to the ND community. Thata where the problem is, imo.

One poster even said its been appropriated by people who are NT, which is factually incorrect.

[quote Moulesvinrouge1]@Innocenta thanks for your response, and apologies for confusion caused. My ‘them’ was intended to describe the people who thought this was a ridiculous thing to make a fuss about, rather than their status as ND or disabled, but I can see how it would read both ways.[/quote]
No worries, I'm sorry for my snappish reply! Hope you're doing okay

Really? ridiculous

@Innocenta

Also, if you experience 'daily' ableism, I'm very surprised that your response to me presumed I wasn't disabled.

I’m very sorry if it came across that way, I was in no way assuming you were not disabled, but I was assuming (apologies) that because it wasn’t deemed offensive by some disabled people that that made it ok. What I was trying to get across is that people will find it upsetting or not but that doesn’t necessarily relate to their own level of disability, just their own attitude towards the distress of an autistic meltdown. We’ve had ND people on here saying they love it. Other ND people saying they don’t. Not trying to summarise, was just trying to say some people find it upsetting, which I tend to think makes it a bit of a shit Christmas jumper is all.

@Innocenta thank you, and not at all! Hope you are doing ok too and sorry you are suffering ableism

@GodIsAVegan

ok Hun, you do you, lol.

Why is it that you have an issue with OP trying to police peoples language but you think it’s ok to try to police mine? I’m not going to use the word again, that’s my choice. It’s weird that you’re so bothered by my choice. 🤡

@GodIsAVegan - what part of my last post made you think I was in the slightest bit bothered by your choice?! Read it again 🤓

RumpoleoftheBaileys If you shake a tree it rustles,

I work with autistic children and we are not allowed to use the term meltdown in relation to their behaviour. So this jumper wouldn't offend me or any of my young people in the slightest.

I didn't know meltdown was linked to autism either, but with that fact in mind I'd be more concerned if the image on the jumper was an upset or angry child.

It's a fucking snowman. They melt.

I understand where you're coming from but if you Google the definition of meltdown then nothing about ASD is mentioned in the first result anyway. So maybe it's not widely known.

Can't people take it for what it is. The snowman is melting down. Why has there always got to be more to it!!

what part of my last post made you think I was in the slightest bit bothered by your choice?! Read it again

You picked up on my earlier post saying I was choosing to not use the word again and took issue with me saying it. It was my choice, I didn’t say others shouldn’t.
Then you replied to my explantation with ‘hun’. Yeah, you’re really not bothered or triggered by this at all. 🙄

If you act like this in real life, I don’t think people will want to be around you.

If you act like this in real life, I don’t think people will want to be around you.
She could certainly say the same about you with more justification

She could certainly say the same about you

I said I wouldn’t use the word from now on. She felt the need to question that even though I hadn’t said anyone else needed to change their language, just that I was going to. I explained my reasoning and got called ‘hun’ and ‘loled’ at. But yeah, I’m the difficult one. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Ivchangedmynameforthis

I work with autistic children and we are not allowed to use the term meltdown in relation to their behaviour. So this jumper wouldn't offend me or any of my young people in the slightest.

I'm recently retired from a long career teaching severely autistic children so a bit out of date on things already. I'd be really interested to know what the reason for that decision is. Not that I disagree with it at all, I'm just curious.

@TyphooMary

Ableist folks like those on this thread are why I have to specify 'autistic meltdown' instead of just saying meltdown.

Even then, folks who aren't neurodivergent still don't understand.

I am 39. I experience both autistic meltdown and autistic shutdown.

Neither are funny. Both involve a distressing lack of control. Frightening, distressing, embarrassing, shaming, soul destroying - these are all things other neurodivergent folk like myself feel about actual meltdowns.

A toddler tantrum might seem the perfect behaviour to describe with the term meltdown, but it very much is not the same. Similarities in places like reasons for, and processes, but they still are not the same.

The jumper would be something my two autistic children and my autistic self could laugh about between us, but I very much would not wish to encourage NT friends or strangers to join in on that because it's not appropriate.

I'm ND but not with autism. So am I ableist for saying autistic meltdown to differentiate from my ND meltdown that presumably presents very differently, and requires a different response, to yours? Or do you accept that actually, the word meltdown has different meanings, and that could maybe include non-medical ones?

FWIW I'd love this jumper, because when I'm not in the midst of a meltdown I like to try to make light of my meltdowns so they're not as scary - the whole taking-away-power thing. My therapist would very much approve of me finding something silly to focus on to help with that. I'd very much use this to prompt discussion about my condition with others.

It's a fucking snowman. They melt.
Can I get a jumper with this slogan?

@GodIsAVegan

what part of my last post made you think I was in the slightest bit bothered by your choice?! Read it again

You picked up on my earlier post saying I was choosing to not use the word again and took issue with me saying it. It was my choice, I didn’t say others shouldn’t.
Then you replied to my explantation with ‘hun’. Yeah, you’re really not bothered or triggered by this at all. 🙄

If you act like this in real life, I don’t think people will want to be around you.

@GodIsAVegan - ok, I see you are still carrying this on and now getting nasty and personal about it. I wonder who is the triggered one here 🤔

My ‘hun’ was in response to your sarcastic ‘HTH’ at the end of your previous comment. Luckily irl I have plenty of friends and family who like to be around me, thanks for caring.

Ok, I completely disagree with you. I think when your a mother you get very protective over your children (my mom is and I, her youngest, am 38). When you have a child with any condition that makes them vulnerable to others I can only imagine that makes it worse. I do have ND people in my immediate family and suspect that I am also ADHD.

Let’s look at the term meltdown: it actually means to melt metal. To use it in a human context is to use it as a metaphor. Since the 70s, it has been used in this context to describe a loss of self control -this wasn’t exclusive to ND people (and I doubt even connected to ND people at all at this stage) but to describe anyone who experiences a loss of self control for whatever reason. Though many use it today to describe the loss of self control experienced by ND people, I would still argue that this is not exclusively the case. I doubt liquid metal is offended by the misappropriation :) I honestly wouldn’t worry.

Crikey! I wondered who it was who’s wandering around being offended at everything, here you are! A life without humour must really suck! I am sorry for you.

I imagine because of its metaphorical nature and that when it was coined in this way, it was a bit of a catch all for many other things - toddler tantrums, mental/nervous breakdowns, even just feeling flustered. I don’t much care for it being used for ND to be honest, it’s a colloquial term banded around as medical diagnosis.

I imagine because of its metaphorical nature and that when it was coined in this way, it was a bit of a catch all for many other things - toddler tantrums, mental/nervous breakdowns, even just feeling flustered. I don’t much care for it being used for ND to be honest, it’s a colloquial term banded around as medical diagnosis. Sorry - didn’t make sense without the original post.

Because, I would argue, it isn’t

Not every autistic person does. Because it was identified in the 30s doesn’t mean it was accepted or recognised by the masses and equally we know it’s on a spectrum these days. Severe autism, I imagine, would certainly be recognised, but what about all those autistic children who were just called “naughty”?- there were plenty of them when I was a child in the 80s and 90s. I agree with the poster who called it flippant - it’s a metaphorical colloquialism and I personally don’t like the term being connected to autism but to each his own.

I think you might be ignorant of the word’s etymology