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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit wtf at this home bargains christmas jumper?

341 replies

Effinell · 21/11/2021 18:33

I seen this when I was in store today and it just didn't sit right with me. I do have a neurodiverse DD so that might be colouring my view slightly.

To be a bit wtf at this home bargains christmas jumper?
OP posts:
Sargass0 · 22/11/2021 05:55

Reminds me of when I was in a psyche unit and the lift had a sign saying "in case of breakdown, call..." I thought it was amusing.

This was years ago and when the term "nervous breakdown" was used to describe lots of mental health issues .

Although people still use that term to describe anthing from feeling a bit off to a MH crisis, it is not really an accepted term these days but it's a familiar term so it still gets used.

DontTellThemYourNamePike · 22/11/2021 06:27

To be fair @DunderMifflinSalesRep I think it's primarily neuro typical people who appear to be attributing the word exclusively to those with autism and taking offence on their behalf at its application elsewhere.

Tabbacus · 22/11/2021 07:20

@DontTellThemYourNamePike

To be fair *@DunderMifflinSalesRep* I think it's primarily neuro typical people who appear to be attributing the word exclusively to those with autism and taking offence on their behalf at its application elsewhere.
It seems to be the opposite if this thread is indicative of things.
SpilltheTea · 22/11/2021 08:02

The lowercase 'i' is the only thing that's offensive here.

TrampolineForMrKite · 22/11/2021 08:04

Not as grim as the one with bells on that said “well hung” that I saw the other day.

Bluesheep8 · 22/11/2021 08:38

Is the expression "having a meltdown" particularly related to autism? I had no idea. I thought it was a widely used expression.

Me too.

msbevvy · 22/11/2021 08:38

@PinkyU

The issue is that the language has been appropriated by the NT community to mean a tantrum, and so now, the neurodiverse community have no language that expresses the biological phenomena that they actually experience during a “meltdown”.

And worse, when a ND person does experience a “meltdown” it’s conflated with tantrum and the ND person is not only not offered the correct support they are often judged and treated appallingly for “misbehaving”.

Is this really the case?

People used to use the expression in days gone by before autism was widely known and talked about.

BertramLacey · 22/11/2021 08:38

There's more to it but that's the basics. So yeah. The ableistic attitude towards ND/Disabled people daring to appropriate a word is ableistic.

It would be if the only reason for dismissing the exclusive use of the word was because of the group using it, but that's not the case. Anyone taking a word and trying to impose a meaning on it that it didn't previously have and then in addition claiming that it couldn't be used in commonly accepted ways would have a battle. Even powerful groups cannot manage that. I get that 'meltdown' has quite a specific definition for some people. What I don't get is any group claiming exclusive rights over the use of a word.

I have depression. It affects my everyday life. It's affected the course my life has taken. I don't get my arse in my hand when people use it to refer to the economy or to mean they're feeling a bit down. It has longer roots and multiple meanings.

Darkpheonix · 22/11/2021 09:37

Is the expression "having a meltdown" particularly related to autism? I had no idea. I thought it was a widely used expression.

It is a widely used term and not exclusive or mainly used in relation to autism.

AngelicaElizaAndPeggy · 22/11/2021 09:42

Meh. You could choose to expend energy being offended about it if you really wanted, I guess. But it doesn't personally bother me.

MsAgnesDiPesto · 22/11/2021 09:54

@EdgeOfTheSky

Didn’t the phrase originate as a term for a disaster in a nuclear reactor when it overheats and melts itself?

I have always understood it to be a metaphor for any out of control collapsing sort of situation, and seen it used to refer to everything from financial collapse to human behaviour.

I am aware that it is used to describe a major crisis or overload for an autistic person but never thought it exclusive to autism or a replacement for any technical term for a neuro-diverse incident.

I’m 50 and I’d never seen in in any context other than the earlier ones until a couple of years ago.

I loathe the misappropriation of medical terms - this forum is littered with horrible examples, the ‘bit OCD’ being the classic example - but to me, it’s clear that ‘meltdown’ isn’t a medical term that’s been appropriated, but in fact the complete opposite.

fournonblondes · 22/11/2021 09:58

Nothing wrong with it. Just do not buy and let others enjoy the humour if they can see it.

Twillow · 22/11/2021 10:00

Neurotypical people have meltdowns too!

HonestwithHope1 · 22/11/2021 11:34

This reply has been deleted

This post has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

Cocomarine · 22/11/2021 11:59

@GodIsAVegan

I didn’t realise meltdown wasn’t an acceptable term. But happy to not use it again now, there’s other words which won’t offend anyone so seems an easy change to make.
Why though? Some random on the Internet says you shouldn’t use the word meltdown?

Can I tell you that the word “change” is unacceptable to me, so in future could you make an “easy alteration”?

Chely · 22/11/2021 12:05

Hmmm
As I get the "your son has had a meltdown" often I wouldn't buy one, I wouldn't be bothered by someone wearing it though.

GodIsAVegan · 22/11/2021 12:36

Can I tell you that the word “change” is unacceptable to me, so in future could you make an “easy alteration”?

Because it’s not a word I need to use. For where I use it, other words would make more sense anyway. It’s an easy change for me.

There are words and terms I wouldn’t give up because using because them are based on fact or biology. Wink

Inastatus · 22/11/2021 18:59

@GodIsAVegan

I didn’t realise meltdown wasn’t an acceptable term. But happy to not use it again now, there’s other words which won’t offend anyone so seems an easy change to make.
It isn’t an unacceptable term - 85% have voted that the OP is being unreasonable.
NeverForgetYourDreams · 22/11/2021 19:05

The dictionary definition relating to behaviour is "a sudden loss of control over one’s feelings or behavior"

It isn't exclusive to ND people.

Moulesvinrouge1 · 22/11/2021 19:05

@yourestandingonmyneck

I'm surprised by so many posters on here claiming meltdown as purely relating to autism.

Firstly, it just isn't. It's been around since before autism was recognised.

Secondly, it's not really a very good word. It's quite flippant.

I can see that you need a word to differentiate between a tantrum and an episode caused by autism. But I really wouldn't have thought meltdown was the best option.

This is not true. Meltdown was used in the literal sense in the 1930’s to describe what happened in a reactor, but not used in the vernacular you describe until the early 1980s. Autism was recognised in the 1930s. Meltdown is the word the autistic community prefers. Or are you going to decide for them how they should describe themselves?
Moulesvinrouge1 · 22/11/2021 19:16

@Welshiefluff

1. Its nice
  1. WTF is neurodiverse? Sounds like another bullshit term
Are you joking? Neurodiverse is the term for people with neurological differences such as autism, ADHD etc. It’s not complicated.
saraclara · 22/11/2021 19:18

Meltdown is the word the autistic community prefers. Or are you going to decide for them how they should describe themselves?

They can prefer it, but they can't own it.

FrownedUpon · 22/11/2021 19:18

It’s called humour 🙄

PinkiOcelot · 22/11/2021 19:19

OMG. I fail to see how it’s taking the piss out of autistic people. That’s bloody ridiculous.

GreyhoundG1rl · 22/11/2021 19:22

Meltdown is the word the autistic community prefers. Or are you going to decide for them how they should describe themselves?
They don't get to call dibs on a word in common usage and claim it for their exclusive use. Nobody does.