Am I being selfish for not wanting to drive my mum?

[amibeingselfishorwhat]

My mum moved to be nearer to me and the DC's which is an hour away from our hometown where my grandma lives. Anyway my grandma is very old and in her last days and my auntie who is her full time carer needs some
Help.

My mum is saying she wants to go down for a few days and help out and asked if I can take her, this would be an ongoing thing until grandma passes.

I said to my mum you need to learn to get the train I can't keep driving down and up and I'm 6 months pregnant and it's exhausting. She is saying she is too scared to use the train.

AIBU to not want to keep on doing it? Or do I just suck it up as my grandma probably doesn't have that long.

My mother (with whom I didn't have the best relationship) came out to visit me when I lived abroad on two occasions. On her own - and she was registered blind. And in her 70s.

@NoPaintedPony In response to your comment.

Not every daughter is kind loving and caring to parent(s).

I quite agree that we take a lot more from family than we would from a partner. We are physically related to family and they can not be replaced as a partner can be.

It is when situations get very difficult like the impending death of DGM that we find out which members of family are family minded and who are not. This is a very emotionally stressful situation and everyone has to think about that including OP's DP.

Oh, she's ungrateful flat mum? Definitely not being selfish!!!

@WhatAHexIGotInto

I’m a very good driver usually but I was a fucking liability when 6m pg!

Why? Assuming you were fit and healthy of course?

Honestly if you feel this, and you've put in writing in public, I'd advise to just not drive or if you do hurt someone you've put here you were being knowingly reckless.

@Cavementality

Please do take your mum. What if this were your daughter not wanting to take you to see your mum!

When my mum was in the same position she drove herself!

[quote User57327259]@NoPaintedPony In response to your comment.

Not every daughter is kind loving and caring to parent(s).

I quite agree that we take a lot more from family than we would from a partner. We are physically related to family and they can not be replaced as a partner can be.

It is when situations get very difficult like the impending death of DGM that we find out which members of family are family minded and who are not. This is a very emotionally stressful situation and everyone has to think about that including OP's DP.[/quote]
Erm, no. Just no.

Honestly your Mum is acting like a petulant child, take a huge step back and leave her to it. Stop pandering to her.

@Vivi0 What do you disagree with or are you saying no in general to another viewpoint being a possiblity

@BlueCupOrangeCup

It's only an hour there and hour back. I would do anything for my mum. So yes I would do it. She would do it for me.

I'd do anything for my Mum. She wouldn't ask me to so this. 100%.

She's not that self centred.

This thread is nearly 4 months old - why has it been resurrected now?

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

This thread is nearly 4 months old - why has it been resurrected now?

The resurrecting post has been deleted.

Probably a spammer.

@Platax

A two hour drive every so often doesn't seem too terrible to me. It's not that tiring sitting in a car, after all.

Let me guess, you don't drive?

No-one who drives, especially on top of working full time and being pregnant and ill, would describe the extra driving being asked of the OP as just 'sitting in a car'. There's quite a lot of concentration and alertness required to avoid causing accidents, which can be tiring.

OP, unless there's a really good reason why your DM cannot go on the train, then that's what she should do.

That makes sense, thank you @Parpophone.