Could you be separated from your Dc

[Frostythesnowperson]

For four or so days?

Dd is only 3 years old, I’m pregnant with our second.
We live abroad and having been back to the U.K. since before she was born. We were due to, but then covid hit and now pregnancy.
My parents have been over a fair amount to see Dd, but dps family hasn’t met her. His mum hasn’t been abroad and feels too ill too, his sister etc could have visited but haven’t.
It feels wrong that Dd hasn’t met them and the onus seems to be on us to get over there, do you think that’s right firstly?
Secondly, I’ve suffered many pregnancy losses and am a high risk pregnancy so won’t risk flying. This would mean dp would have to take our 3 year old alone for a few days.
I really don’t think I can do this, we’ve never been apart and I also think it will be really overwhelming for her?
After baby comes along, I don’t know when the next chance would be to get over. With a new baby, toddler/young child, covid etc, it seems a big stress.

What’s the solution here, what would you do?

The onus was definitely on them to visit you especially as you say they never came even when mil was well and not using a wheelchair.
If your DD was used to spending nights away from you then this idea of her going with dad without you might have sounded s little bit sensible. But to dump everything on her at once: first night away from mum, first trip abroad, first time meeting lots of adult strangers is just too much.

She's 3yrs old, not a baby. Flying on a plane or travelling really isn't a big deal, and surely she's met people before? My 3yr old has done several trips abroad and that's with Covid in the middle.
Unless there's red flags about your partner of course it's fine for him to take his own child to meet family. I wouldn't be impressed if my husband tried to stop me.
I left DS at 5mths to go to Spain for 4 days. I haven't left DD yet (9mths) but that's mostly due to the Pandemic.

We left DD with MIL for 4 nights when she was 3, it was the limit I think, she was very glad to see us, and us her, and we'd built up to it over about a year.

In your situation I'd miss her (and worry irrationally about airports and things) but she's with her dad, who is also her parent, and you obviously think he's a decent one or you wouldn't be having another, so I think you need to let them go.