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Original poster

We can't mention positives of Breastfeeding for fear of offending

707 replies

Silverclasp · 18/11/2021 17:00

Recently there was an interesting thread about a husband not wanting his wife to Breastfeed (he wanted to give formula) posters were highlighting the positives of Breastfeeding (since this was the topic) but there was a response essentially saying that by pointing out the benefits that we are shaming non bf mothers.
It got me thinking that I actively don't speak about bf for this very reason, I feel like if the person I'm talking to doesn't bf it can be seen as "shaming" like I never post anything pro Breastfeeding on SM in case I offend someone. It's kind of ridiculous.
Interested in both sides of the argument.

So say I reposted an article on SM which stated that studies have indicated that breastfed babies have a larger thymus gland than formula fed babies and more tcells as a result. Would this be unreasonable and cause offence to non bf mothers?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 18/11/2021 17:03

To be honest if you posted that, I'd wonder why you bothered?

The majority of people really don't give a shit how others feed their kids. Only a small amount of people tend to get offended by these things IME, and they're generally easy to offend anyway.

But no-one likes a preacher, especially on social media. It's just boring.

MrsSchrute · 18/11/2021 17:04

I would think about who was going to read the article. If I had friends who I knew had struggled and hadn't been able to breastfeed then no, I wouldn't post it, because I wouldn't want to upset them.
I tried desperately hard to bf, took all the meds, pumped etc, and ended up back in hospital. If a friend had posted that on SM during that period I wouldn't have felt guilty, but it would definitely reinforced my opinion of myself as a failure as a mother.
So I'd say it's all about the audience, and your motive for posting.

minipie · 18/11/2021 17:06

I think if someone asks about the benefits of BF then fine to give them the info

And fine for midwives to give the info as part of pre natal care

And fine to point out the benefits to a man who doesn’t want his wife to BF (although the answer “it’s her choice not yours” should be sufficient)

But otherwise… like in your SM example… what are you doing it for?

Franklin12 · 18/11/2021 17:08

Honestly bf or dont. Its your choice. I dont really need to know one way or the other. However if someone started telling me what I SHOULD do and why I was wrong in my decision - well that is a different matter.

BF wasnt for me , I didnt try it but I would fight for the best level of care/support for someone who did want to try it!

MollieMaeve · 18/11/2021 17:08

What would be your motivation for doing so?

I had vaginal births with no pain relief. I wouldn’t share an article on SM about research studies showing the benefits of either of those things.

Firstly as I wouldn’t want to make anyone feel bad about their own experience and secondly because there are research studies that can prove or disprove pretty much anything.

Original poster
Silverclasp · 18/11/2021 17:09

@MrsSchrute I saw the article and thought it was interesting and sent it to my friends who are bf but didn't post it on sm for the reason that you outlined.
Just with the Breastfeeding rates as low as they are maybe if there was more discussions about the positives then maybe more people might choose to feed? I lived in Sweden for a while and there bf rates are really high. They have lots of TV campaigns about the positives of bf. I feel like that wouldn't happen here in case it offended ppl

OP posts:
MollieMaeve · 18/11/2021 17:09

(Also because it is Hmm to assume that your experience/choices are the best experience/choices)

JadeTrinket · 18/11/2021 17:10

So say I reposted an article on SM which stated that studies have indicated that breastfed babies have a larger thymus gland than formula fed babies and more tcells as a result. Would this be unreasonable and cause offence to non bf mothers?

Why would you do post that, though? I mean, it's not as if the benefits of BF aren't widely acknowledged. My milk supply never established, despite extreme efforts for two months and advice from everyone from La Leche league peer supporters to a specialist lactation consultant, and I was desperately upset about it, but I think if I saw your post on FB, I'd probably just wonder why you were posting it, or why you saw how you were feeding your baby as a topic you were likely to be talking about much in rl or online...?

Original poster
Silverclasp · 18/11/2021 17:11

@MollieMaeve maybe if ppl knew the benefits it could help them with their decision?

OP posts:
MollieMaeve · 18/11/2021 17:11

With breastfeeding, the number one biggest thing that would improve rates is increased, easily accessible support.

Channeling energy into campaigning for that would be more useful than posting on social media about the benefits.

MorrisZapp · 18/11/2021 17:12

Well you know your friends. Would they be interested to hear a study about babies thymus glands?

iheartredsquirrels · 18/11/2021 17:12

I didn't bf as I didn't have a very good experience, I was slated abit at the time but generally told peeps to jog off [in a nice way] and carried on with formula. Dc all happy as was I = calm and contented dc with very few colds etc as they grew up.

WorraLiberty · 18/11/2021 17:12

[quote Silverclasp]@MrsSchrute I saw the article and thought it was interesting and sent it to my friends who are bf but didn't post it on sm for the reason that you outlined.
Just with the Breastfeeding rates as low as they are maybe if there was more discussions about the positives then maybe more people might choose to feed? I lived in Sweden for a while and there bf rates are really high. They have lots of TV campaigns about the positives of bf. I feel like that wouldn't happen here in case it offended ppl[/quote]
But again, why are you interested in what other women choose to do with their breasts and their babies?

We're not living in the 3rd world where clean water and sterilising equipment is unavailable.

I think what offends women is being told what to do with their bodies when both feeding options are perfectly sufficient.

Original poster
Silverclasp · 18/11/2021 17:12

@MollieMaeve very true!

OP posts:
MollieMaeve · 18/11/2021 17:12

People do know the benefits of breastfeeding. They are widely known, widely available and widely circulated during pregnancy.

CloudPop · 18/11/2021 17:13

Unless things have changed in the last 10 years or so, I was absolutely bombarded with advice /!research etc on the benefits of breast feeding. I'm not sure any more is needed - people either absorb or ignore the information, and either breastfeed or don't.

WorraLiberty · 18/11/2021 17:13

[quote Silverclasp]@MollieMaeve maybe if ppl knew the benefits it could help them with their decision?[/quote]
What on earth makes you think they don't?

There's shit tonnes of information available for women to read.

hangrylady · 18/11/2021 17:14

Posting about the benefits of breastfeeding will make you look smug and self important IMO. There are women who can't breastfeed who want to and are aware of the benefits and this sort of shit isn't helpful. If you breastfeed then great, look after your own baby the way you want and keep your opinions and articles to yourself.

Original poster
Silverclasp · 18/11/2021 17:14

@WorraLiberty if women are making informed decisions then that's 100% fine everyone should feed their baby the way the want to, but I didn't know that information about the tcells so I assume many others don't either?

OP posts:
3cats4poniesandababy · 18/11/2021 17:16

But in the UK most mothers want to breastfeed so telling them the benefits is pointless they already know them.

Usually the reason for stopping comes down to poor support. The NHS and other places are excellent at prompting the benefits but when it actually comes down to doing actions they are poor.

1997again · 18/11/2021 17:17

Everyone knows breastfeeding is the best nutrition for babies. I’ve seen loads of info about it . The positive facts are exactly that - scientifically proven facts that breastmilk is superior to formula.

BUT formula comes such a close second, that’s the issue . The message given sadly a lot of the time is that breastfeeding is superior and formula inferior and that’s where the problem lies.

Breastfeeding is best, formula is a very very close second

TulipsGarden · 18/11/2021 17:18

But everyone knows the benefits of breastfeeding. It's not a secret, it's rammed down your throat the minute you start engaging with anything related to babies and motherhood.

People don't breastfeed for two reasons - 1) they don't want to OR 2) they can't. They are free to make that choice, and if they can't they probably feel a bit shit about it, even if they know it's for the best. Posting stuff about breastfed babies being healthier is very unlikely to influence anyone's previously made decision, and reasonably likely to make someone feel shit about themselves.

AvocadoOrange · 18/11/2021 17:18

I think the issue is a lot of mothers want to breastfeed but then don't succeed because we live in a society that is really unfriendly and unsupportive of breastfeeding (and mothers in general) - so those who fail to breastfeed feel guilty/shamed/attacked because they are told it's the best option, but don't manage.

I don't think there is anything wrong in sharing the benefits of breastfeeding though- I would do it, but it does depend on audience and reason for posting... for example I wouldn't post that article on my Facebook unless there was a particular reason to share it. I am conscious I have a couple of friends who wanted to breastfeed, but it didn't work out.

gogohm · 18/11/2021 17:18

I think it's important to highlight the tangible benefits eg it's easier, free, less issues with allergies, rather than academic studies with caveats that make it hard to judge the merit. I breastfed mine - it was easier and saved me thousands of pounds. Helping lower income women (who statistically are less likely to breastfeed and don't have the financial means to pay for support services) to get started will help the family tangibly through the financial savings and/or the state who provide coupons for the lowest income families.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 18/11/2021 17:19

We’ll always offend someone with raising children- like not having a caection, if you talk about a vaginal birth someone will get their back up. Facts are facts- and the most important fact, is what is best on paper and what’s best in everyone’s individual circumstances aren’t always the same thing. People are way too easily offended