We can't mention positives of Breastfeeding for fear of offending

[Silverclasp]

Recently there was an interesting thread about a husband not wanting his wife to Breastfeed (he wanted to give formula) posters were highlighting the positives of Breastfeeding (since this was the topic) but there was a response essentially saying that by pointing out the benefits that we are shaming non bf mothers.
It got me thinking that I actively don't speak about bf for this very reason, I feel like if the person I'm talking to doesn't bf it can be seen as "shaming" like I never post anything pro Breastfeeding on SM in case I offend someone. It's kind of ridiculous.
Interested in both sides of the argument.

So say I reposted an article on SM which stated that studies have indicated that breastfed babies have a larger thymus gland than formula fed babies and more tcells as a result. Would this be unreasonable and cause offence to non bf mothers?

@3cats4poniesandababy

But in the UK most mothers want to breastfeed so telling them the benefits is pointless they already know them.

Usually the reason for stopping comes down to poor support. The NHS and other places are excellent at prompting the benefits but when it actually comes down to doing actions they are poor.

This from the rooftops! I so nearly quit attempting a day 3, but fortunately had an incredibly supportive person who helped..and from then on it was so much better.

Especially if the baby is zonked on opioids from the mothers painkillers, it can be very tricky initially.
I'd definitely not have had the confidence to carry on had it not been for the woman who kindly offered advice in person.

@Magicalwoodlands

Post on here that you are struggling with breastfeeding and you will be inundated with warm, kindly meant advice that formula feeding is fine and it doesn’t matter.

Post that you don’t want to formula feed, you really want to breastfeed, and the responses are not quite so warm.

YANBU, op.

100% this!

@ineedsun I didn't share it that's the whole point of this post.

You just shouldn't make comment on how other mums are feeding. Also the only people who care about the thymus gland are the type of mums who post on those breastfeeding support groups to congratulate themselves on 'golden boobies' etc.

The point is that lots of non bf mothers feel inadequate because bf mothers keep stating bf is best

What’s best is that the child is fed, it’s as simple as that

Some case bf, good for them, some can’t, feel guilty and dont need extra pressure put on them by anyone. It’s simply wrong to ram bf is best down everyone’s throat, making those you can’t ( not won’t) feel even worse

It’s time that all advertising stated feeding your child is best, these are the two options and pros and cons for both and let mothers make up their minds

No one needs to be told the pros and cons, think we all know it, its no ones business whether a mum breast or formul a feeds

I think if the ante natal classes were a bit more realistic about BF it would help. If they covered all the things that could happen as you try to master it.
BF was touted as this wonderful bonding experience and best for baby with no mention of the reality for lots of women.

One of my friends found it a breeze with no problems and couldn't understand my struggles with it at all.

TBH with you I think a large part of being a mother is that most of society thinks you're doing it wrong, MN is a perfect example of that. As long as you and your child are happy and healthy thats the best you can strive for.

@Avarua

I think unless you'd be prepared to post articles on the importance of folates in pregnancy, or the benefits of fresh vegetables and liver for 6 month olds, or how bad sugary drinks are for children or why fast food is bad for growing teens then don't post about breastfeeding. Giving nutrition advice is preachy.

Yes, what is the obsession about breastfeeding over those other things?

@CeeceeBloomingdale well that is different as I guess (or I’m hoping) you wouldn’t be saying to someone who IS struggling, ‘well I found it easy’ as that’s obviously v unhelpful. Truthfully I think it depends on what you’re saying if you’re one of those ‘try co sleeping’ or ‘it’s normal Hun/ feed feed feed’ or the dangers of formula sorts then often that advice isn’t helpful either.

But if you’re commenting on a thread signposting support and some tips and tricks that worked for you in your hard moments (of which I’m sure there were some) then some haters gonna hate and sometimes people on MN could fall out with themselves in a phone box, I’ve never seen that on a thread personally BUT that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

But either way I fundamentally believe the reason so many women or people get ‘triggered’ by pro breastfeeding posts and the reason many breastfeeders feel the need to sort of stealth brag or as in OPs case ‘educate others on the benefits’ is due to lack of support. Those who weren’t able to breastfeed feel a sense of failure and those who were feel like they were one of the rare few and sometimes feel superior due to it.

Just to clarify there have been many studies on the link between formula feeding and decreased Thymus Development the 1996 study was just the first.

Some others are;

"T-lymphocyte subsets, thymic size and breastfeeding in infancy.”
Pediatric Allergy and Immunology 15(2):127 April 2004

Breast-feeding influences thymic
size in late infancy." Eur J Pediatr 1999 Dec;158(12):964-7

Thymus size evaluated by sonography. A longitudinal study on infants during
the first year of life. Acta Radiol 1997 Mar;38(2):222-7

All studies concluded that there was decreased thymus size in formula fed babies. It's not disputed in the scientific community or at least not that I can see.

I wanted to bf my first child. Got zero support to do so in hospital and made to feel bad that my baby wasn’t eating. That coupled with recovering from a traumatic birth just made me admit defeat and let the NHS staff on that day talk me out of persevering. If only we’d all read the thymus article maybe I wouldn’t have had to suffer with after effects of post partum anxiety until my kid was 3!

@Chloemol

"The point is that lots of non bf mothers feel inadequate because bf mothers keep stating bf is best

What’s best is that the child is fed, it’s as simple as that

Some case bf, good for them, some can’t, feel guilty and dont need extra pressure put on them by anyone. It’s simply wrong to ram bf is best down everyone’s throat, making those you can’t ( not won’t) feel even worse

It’s time that all advertising stated feeding your child is best, these are the two options and pros and cons for both and let mothers make up their minds"

But if this post is anything to go by that's not true at all, most BF mothers on here have stated that they WOULDN'T talk about the benefits of Breastfeeding because they wouldn't want to offend those who choose not to feed, or those that cannot feed.

YANBU, I joined a Facebook group for babies born around the same time as my youngest. It was a very supportive, evidence-based group that accepted all types of feeding (and those who gave anyone abuse were removed). So I was a bit surprised that on World Breastfeeding Week, someone posted something about it, saying well done to all the mums who were breastfeeding or had for any length of time, etc. It then seemed like there was an influx of "Why isn't there a formula feeding week? 🙁" posts of people complaining that there shouldn't be one week of celebrating breastfeeding without simultaneously celebrating formula feeding. 🤦‍♀️
I don't think anyone should feel bad about how they feed their baby, but breastfeeding rates are so low in the UK, it has its own struggles, and it sometimes feels like you can't celebrate it without having to tag on "formula feeding is great too!".

Everyone who cares either way already knows the benefits of breastfeeding. Going on about the benefits just makes mums who struggled and ultimately gave up feel guilty. We just need more help with it - I had to pay privately for tongue tie divisions for my children in order to breastfeed. I researched it myself and organised it abd was lucky I could easily afford it. Then nhs was several weeks long which wouldn’t have been possible. One of mine was readmitted due to poor weight gain and even then I didn’t manage to see a feeding specialist to help me!

Shaming and guilt tripping won’t increase rates of breastfeeding. Support with breastfeeding will increase rates. And normalising it as well.

@WorraLiberty

With the soaring rates of child obesity in the UK, I'm surprised the preachers don't concentrate more on what/how much shit kids are often fed from weaning onwards.

Why is it always about the milk? 🥱

There's a lot of evidence that exclusive breastfeeding reduces the risk of obesity- and I think a lot of the people concerned with breastfeeding are also concerned with baby food marketing.

Hey OP, not what you asked but I would be interested to read the article if you have a link please?

Just share what you like on social media. Obviously if you have a good friend who you think would be hurt by it, perhaps think twice but otherwise share what you like, I think.

The evidence around breastfeeding v formula feeding and obesity is pretty poor actually from an academic stand point, at best it proves correlation not causation and then correlation can be linked towards a whole host of social factors rather than directly traced to formula feeding.

This argument also kind of eradicates the ethos that any and all breast milk is beneficial.

[quote Silverclasp]@ineedsun I didn't share it that's the whole point of this post.[/quote]
Apologies I thought you sent it to some friends?

Some of the answers to this thread show that people are ignorant of the benefits of breastfeeding...the evidence it's healthier is overwhelming. Stating that as a fact isn't shaming- it's what science shows.

I think mothers are the wrong primary audience for the benefits though. We should be shouting about the benefits of breastfeeding and better postnatal support to government, health boards etc, employees and everyone else about making society a friendly place for all mothers of newborns, most of whom want to breastfeed.

The doctor shared the original study I posted earlier and subsequently this article which speaks about other studies.

www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2011/07/why-size-matters-when-it-comes-to-your.html?m=1

@ineedsun sorry you are right I shared it privately with 2 of my friends who are currently breastfeeding thought it might give them a lift if they'd had a tough night of cluster feeding.

@AvocadoOrange

Don't quote me on this because it might not be right

But I don't think that this is because of the milk itself, or at least not entirely. I think it is because if a baby is fed from the boob they can control how much milk they have. Bottle fed and baby can be easy to overfed causing the little ones stomach to stretch.

This is why pace feeding or feeding responsively can combat those issues. Holding baby sat up with their bottle so they can control the flow, not encouraging baby to finish the bottle but let them stop when they want to stop etc.

Majority of people who are having a baby know the benefits of breastfeeding, midwife shoves it down your throat at every opportunity along with everyone else

The reason the uk has such low BF rates is because there is a massive lack of support and such poor post natal care and it is a horrific so many women experience this.

@ThreeFeetTall

*Avarua
I think unless you'd be prepared to post articles on the importance of folates in pregnancy, or the benefits of fresh vegetables and liver for 6 month olds, or how bad sugary drinks are for children or why fast food is bad for growing teens then don't post about breastfeeding. Giving nutrition advice is preachy.

Yes, what is the obsession about breastfeeding over those other things?*

Yup… Basically this.