We can't mention positives of Breastfeeding for fear of offending

[Silverclasp]

Recently there was an interesting thread about a husband not wanting his wife to Breastfeed (he wanted to give formula) posters were highlighting the positives of Breastfeeding (since this was the topic) but there was a response essentially saying that by pointing out the benefits that we are shaming non bf mothers.
It got me thinking that I actively don't speak about bf for this very reason, I feel like if the person I'm talking to doesn't bf it can be seen as "shaming" like I never post anything pro Breastfeeding on SM in case I offend someone. It's kind of ridiculous.
Interested in both sides of the argument.

So say I reposted an article on SM which stated that studies have indicated that breastfed babies have a larger thymus gland than formula fed babies and more tcells as a result. Would this be unreasonable and cause offence to non bf mothers?

It’s not about offending anyone, but you will look like a bit of a plonker…and probably feel it once your kids are older. social media or other preachy mums is not the place to get breastfeeding advice, unless asked.

Honestly if you ever want to feel like all anyone talks about is the positives of breastfeeding then ‘fail’ at it and have to use formula. That whole first year of feeling guilty and awful culminating in PND I felt the world was on a one man mission to tell me how wonderful breastfeeding was and make me feel shit. I wouldn’t post anything on social media that I know others could find hurtful even if I agreed with it so I would swerve that and share the article with friends who would appreciate it.

Yanbu. More people should be aware that breastfeeding doesn't bring benefits, formula risks health. But the language around that upsets people.

Formula fed children are more likely to have allergies, contract some cancers and of fed using plastic bottles could be consuming a lot of microplastics.

But the narrative is always around supporting women's choice and implies that if you don't say dross shite "like fed is best" or "mum knows best" then you are shaming women because they couldn't/didnt breastfeed.

I don't speak up about it but i agree that when a mum says she is struggling youll get pounced on for mentioning any of these things because youre shaming or not being supportive. When really those posters should be being advised to speak to healthcare professionals who actually know this stuff.

Its just not a palatable truth.

There are significant social issues and lack of support but on sone parts of the world rates are 85% plus, which demonstrates most women can with the right support.

I also fucking hate formula companies who have exploited the third world and caused infant deaths to sell their products.

Links before anyone pounces on me

www.unicef.org/press-releases/why-family-friendly-policies-are-critical-increasing-breastfeeding-rates-worldwide

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/

www.nature.com/articles/s43016-020-00171-y

www.theguardian.com/sustainable-business/nestle-baby-milk-scandal-food-industry-standards

@Beautifulday345 yes this did occur to me too. I wouldn't post a photo on World Breastfeeding Week either for the same reason. Was just interested if other ppl feel the same about not posting and apparently they do.

I breastfed for 2.5 years, at times it was really really fucking difficult and I was only able to continue because we had the money for a lactation consultant, travel to the tongue tie clinic, extra paid time off work for DP so he was there to support, etc, etc.

And I still don’t know or care what a thymus gland is or why it’s important. The thing that kept me breastfeeding was support, which I had to pay for – not to mention the HV support was laughably bad – and also a stubborn baby who didn’t give me a chance to breathe between feeds, let alone stop.

A social media study on something random isn’t going to improve rates, if that’s your goal. A massive funding overhaul might, along with creating a society that doesn’t obsessed over flopping them out or want to throw muslins over the heads of feeding babies and all the other nonsense that comes up in feeding bunfights.

Why do you care how othe mums feed their babies though OP? As someone said above - are you also posting stuff on other health related aspects of childcare? Arguably there are things you could post about that would have far more beneficial effects than bf vs ff - SIDS risk factors for eg.

However i think the focus should be on shifiting the societal problems preventing breastfeeeding.

Once someone has made a (hopefully informed by a professional) decision to switch to formula there is no point in upsetting someone.

Upsetting one individual doesnt change the world.

I have no problem with people sharing articles on the benefits of breastfeeding (providing they’re actually scientifically robust - e.g. reduction in breast cancers for mothers as opposed to bollocks - e.g. increases IQ). But I would also like women to be presented with the full facts by the NHS, like how to safely prepare formula and how little fucking difference it actually makes to anything in both the short and long term. Because at the moment they’re not, the focus is on breastfeeding to a really detrimental extent that’s not even doing well to boost rates.

I agree with lots of posters on here. I feel completely informed on the benefits of breast feeding. It’s everywhere when you are pregnant and a new mother. What was massively in short demand was any support to actually be able to do it. That’s what needs to change. I don’t count the midwife who squeezed my breast so hard I screamed and then told me of course it hurts as helpful or supportive. So no I don’t think sharing on social media would be helpful.

I don’t think he biggest reason women don’t bf is not
understanding the health benefits. It’s the lack of support for new mothers that are struggling.

In all honesty, I get annoyed at mothers who feel the need to share how proud they are of how they feed/fed their babies on social media. No parent mentions how their teenager is fed or they’re adult child when visiting for dinner. it just feels a bit boastful.

I find ff mothers can be offended because in my experience, in most cases they feel sadness at not being able to do it. When bf wasn’t working for me I was very bitter. I’ve ff and am bf a one year old so don’t feel I have a ‘side’ I’ve just done what’s right for me at the time and thats all any mother should be worrying about- doing what’s right for them and their child.

@Throckmorton I don't post about breastfeeding or anything related to childcare for fear of offending that's the point of this thread.

But if I saw an interesting study that said "exercising for 30 mins a day decreases your chance of cancer by 80%" (this study doesn't exist obvs just an example) then I prob would share it because I'd be like Wow everyone should know this.... I prob wouldn't worry about offending those who chose not to exercise or those who can't for medical reasons. I was just interested in whether others consciously don't post for the same reason

I failed to BF long-term and feel crap because of it, still, but you should not be chastised for highlighting the benefits of it.

As long as it's not done in a really holier-than-thou style... It is undoubtedly beneficial for both parties (if it works, that is) and should at least be tried - if it doesn't work out for physical or mental health reasons then formula is perfectly good (and no one should be criticising that choice).

I think most people know there are benefits to breastfeeding however (this is totally my issue...) It repulses me, I hate it and made me feel angry so the negative outweighed the positives completely and no amount of articles would have changed my mind, they just make me feel a little guilt. So you can say positive things but you've got to ask yourself why you feel the need

What I do think is there should be more support post birth for those that WANT to feed but have reservations...these are the ones that you could encourage to breastfeed.

You could offer me a million quid and eternal life and it would still be a firm no... Tried with my first, was adamant I wouldn't again.

@WhateverIdo your body your choice and whatever choice a woman makes is the right decision for her and her family.

Just with the Breastfeeding rates as low as they are maybe if there was more discussions about the positives then maybe more people might choose to feed?

Sorry OP, but for someone so invested in breastfeeding, and passionate about people making informed decisions... You don't seem that informed yourself of the actual reasons why breastfeeding rates are so low in the UK?

Did you know that:

• information about the benefits of breastfeeding get constantly rammed down your throat by all health professionals (so clearly the problem is not lack of information about benefits)
• the majority of women intend and attempt to breast feed at the time of giving birth (so the problem is not lack of willingness)
• yet by 3 months most babies are not exclusively breastfed (so clearly breastfeeding proved difficult in practice)

What's needed to improve breastfeeding rates is not information on benefits (which costs nothing, so gets happily handed out by everyone and their dogs), but often concrete practical support (targeted, personalised advice and guidance when hitting specific issues, early medical interventions e.g. for tongue tie, a VERY supportive partner doing all the other jobs around the house, including preparing meals, so the mum can focus exclusively on breastfeeding... And decent paternity leave certainly wouldn't hurt for that last one!)
That last one is probably the single biggest reason why Sweden does lots better than the UK re: breastfeeding rates. But it costs serious money, so no political will to fix it... Easier to blame lazy ignorant mums for not trying hard enough.

I just found the article really interesting and was like "wow everyone should know this" but then stopped myself from sharing because I didn't want anyone to get hurt or think I was a preachy twat.... which clearly given the responses on this post I would have

@RobotValkyrie good points thanks for sharing.

Shit @RealBecca then isn’t the real issue the consumption of micro plastics, which by the way foetuses are exposed to in utero due to our horrendous plastic consumption.

Would this issue not by largely mitigated by the use of glass bottles?

A lot of exclusive breastfeeding mums use the odd bottle here and there, myself being one. I don’t think how you’ve phrased your post is particularly kind.

@3cats4poniesandababy

But in the UK most mothers want to breastfeed so telling them the benefits is pointless they already know them.

Usually the reason for stopping comes down to poor support. The NHS and other places are excellent at prompting the benefits but when it actually comes down to doing actions they are poor.

This is so true, no amount of glossy leaflets or suppression of advertising will negate the fact that mothers who feel that they are struggling to feed their baby generally have no access to practical and effective support. Postpartum mothers rarely have the energy to push (yet again) to get the support they deserve and nor should they be expected to. The problem goes far deeper than the 'interested' lobbies would have us believe.

I find it interesting that actually the majority of posters on this thread have said that everyone knows that bf is better basically, because most threads on mumsnet about breastfeeding end up in a bun fight with people denying there are any benefits to breastfeeding whatsoever.

It’s an emotive subject obviously and there is a lot of negativity directed towards breastfeeding, as well as obviously the positive public health messages around it, which is such a shame. Women who want to breastfeed should all be supported to do so, and we shouldn’t as a society let a fear of upsetting some people stand in the way of truth, but we should respect every woman’s choices regarding their own bodies and their own babies.

I started a thread about this under a different name months ago.

I think the problem is that as soon as you run into BFing difficulties, you are told to use formula.

DS lost 12% of his birth weight in the first three days and so immediately was put on formula, despite me saying over and over that I wanted to breastfeed.

That shouldn’t be the default answer.

I'm not breastfeeding my 1st. I've done all the research how positive it is blah blah but I've made the best decision for me and my baby by bottlefeeding( for reasons I'm not going into here)
I don't mind discussing bf of and when I ask questions but I've found ppl are so interested in how I'm feeding my baby, and tell me why u should breast feed or bottle feed without me asking.
That is the part I hate. Unasked for opinions or questions.

Of course breast is best, are you suggesting bottle feeding mothers didn't know that? Op , did you think people don't breast feed because they don't know the benefits? Very strange post

I ended up bottle feeding for my own reasons, my son was well nourished and thrived, but I didn't stop breast feeding over any confusion about the benefits.

There are plenty of breastfeeding groups on fb who would be interested to read articles like the one mentioned, or your local b/f group. Everyone knows breastfeeding is better, which is why so many women struggle with guilt and trauma when they can’t breastfeed, which is the majority because not that many mothers choose to ff from the start, about 20% isn’t it?

Thing is though - that article it not news. If a study came out now about the link between exercise and cancer then share away as it's news. The fact that breast feeding is good for immune development is literally decades old, so sharing it looks preachy rather than informative.