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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that schools do too many "pay a pound to..." days?

302 replies

NewSwimmingMum · 18/11/2021 07:09

It isn't an issue for us to pay £1 here and there for mufti, odd socks, Christmas jumper etc, although remembering is a different matter!

Am I wrong to think it might add unnecessary pressure to families who are struggling? There will have been 2 in October, 2 in November and then at least 1 in December.

I guess one good thing is that it is a little more anonymous now school asks us to donate via the online payment system-at least a parent can imply to child they have paid. But not sure they should have to.

OP posts:
FortunesFave · 18/11/2021 07:13

YANBU. Some families just don't have a pound...or two or three depending how many kids they've got!

It's quite thoughtless.

JazzHandsYeah · 18/11/2021 07:16

YANBU - when my DD started reception, they wanted a pound a week from every child for supplies. As well as all the other fund raising days.

Spiceup · 18/11/2021 07:18

I agree and I work in a school that does a lot of it. I have a position where I should be able to influence this but I'm not winning so far!

One of the Ofsted boxes to tick is something to do with social involvement and shools use these days for that. To me it's lazy and doesn't actually teach children anything. There's no lesson in wearing a special outfit and getting parents to donate £1.

The environmental aspect bothers me a lot too. I know you don't have to buy something specially, but we know very many families will.

There's also pressure on staff to donate "voluntarily" but it doesn't always feel voluntary and lots of people in school are on not much more than minimum wage. I have recently reminded the head that 50% of the staff earn less than a third of what she does. She loves a charity initiative!

DraigFach · 18/11/2021 07:18

Raise it with your school. Ours is mindful of the impact it has on families so it's rare we have more than 2 "pay £1 to wear your own clothes" day in each half term.

The school council vote on which days to fundraise for so it's down to the children ultimately which is quite nice.

moita · 18/11/2021 07:19

YANBU. My daughter's pre school is the same

AuntieStella · 18/11/2021 07:19

That's a lot.

Our school would have no more that one a term, plus selling poppies (which have no minimum donation)

user1471464218 · 18/11/2021 07:20

If the children who don't pay the charity donation aren't treated less favourably then I don't see it as a big problem. It used to annoy me though! I can afford it but there's the odd charity I just can't support so I don't donate on those days.

Our school has more expensive (over a pound) fund raisers for the parents' association and again you can pay or not pay.

beatrice82 · 18/11/2021 07:20

Disagree - we have 300 families at my school. If everyone donated a quid then we'd have £300 which can make a huge difference. It's only a quid.

jgw1 · 18/11/2021 07:21

One of the Ofsted boxes to tick is something to do with social involvement and shools use these days for that. To me it's lazy and doesn't actually teach children anything. There's no lesson in wearing a special outfit and getting parents to donate £1.

How many of the dear darlings actually know what the £1 is for.
(And don't get me started on the colossal waste that is Comic Relief, where little more than 50p in that pound actually goes to good causes).

PingedPotato · 18/11/2021 07:21

That's a lot, I think one a term is OK but any more than that and it's getting silly.

BigYellowHat · 18/11/2021 07:21

@DraigFach

Raise it with your school. Ours is mindful of the impact it has on families so it's rare we have more than 2 "pay £1 to wear your own clothes" day in each half term.

The school council vote on which days to fundraise for so it's down to the children ultimately which is quite nice.

Two per half term? That’s quite a lot isn’t it? 🤷‍♀️
PingedPotato · 18/11/2021 07:22

@beatrice82

Disagree - we have 300 families at my school. If everyone donated a quid then we'd have £300 which can make a huge difference. It's only a quid.
It's not only a quid when there are 5 within the space of 3 months. Thats £5.
PingedPotato · 18/11/2021 07:24

Two per half term? That’s quite a lot isn’t it? 🤷‍♀️ I agree. It also means the novelty of dressing down or whatever it is soon wears off.

MysteriousMonkey · 18/11/2021 07:24

YANBU this week I've had to send in £7 for various school charity things. It's a lot when only one of you is working and for what amounts to minimum wage! Sometimes in the past I've refused but my children find it really awkward and embarrassing if they are the only ones without a donation so now I mutter a lot under my breath and hand over the money.

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 18/11/2021 07:24

At my school the donation is suggested and buckets left out for them so that no one knows if you donate or not. My school is very sensitive about these kind of money issues.

MysteriousMonkey · 18/11/2021 07:25

PS I wold vote for none a term, or one per school year to benefit the PTA. I'd be happy with that, I do donate to other charities of my choosing when I can.

EvilPea · 18/11/2021 07:26

Yes it’s the volume of them. One year between the dress up for Halloween day, the history day, the book day, children in need. The school had 25% of my income between October- November.
My income is small, hence it reading badly! But my income is small so it’s a significant amount.

SweeneyPlodd · 18/11/2021 07:26

This reply has been deleted

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PermanentTemporary · 18/11/2021 07:26

Four dressing up days per TERM?? Jesus! I think ds's school did this sort of thing once a year and I complained about that Blush

Comedycook · 18/11/2021 07:28

Don't send them in with the money...or send them in with 20p. The teachers won't say anything I reckon. One year my DC's school requested a pound for a charity I do not support. I gave my DD 10p so she'd at least have something to chuck in the bucket. Nothing was said.

Sirzy · 18/11/2021 07:28

I think as long as it’s only a suggested donation and no fuss is made about who has and hasn’t paid them it’s fine. People can Chuck in as much or as little as they want.

WickedWitchOfTheTrent · 18/11/2021 07:29

It's better now my dc are in secondary school, when they were both in primary I used to weep at this time of year. Especially as I was in a strict budget, used to cost a bloody fortune

SpiderinaWingMirror · 18/11/2021 07:29

One of the changes at dd3 school when new head started was she knocked most of it on the head. I think it was down to 3 a year. Book day was wear pjs and bring a book to school.

Frogsareflyinginfromthewest · 18/11/2021 07:31

Are you in a town beginning with K, op?! Sounds exactly like DD school.... so many £1 here and there, and shes only in Rsception!

GrandmasCat · 18/11/2021 07:33

I hated the £1 days, you send them with £1 to spend and then spend another £20 in costumes or baking to send in.

I hated the cupcakes days with a passion, people send cupcakes that cost about £1 each to make to be sold for 20p.

DS’ secondary school PTA did nothing more than two quiz days a year, but asked parents to set up a DD with a monthly amount to donate (whatever they wanted and could afford), I loved it and honestly, it was more time and cost effective to donate £1-5 to school a month than spending so much time baking or sorting costumes. They also raised far more money that way than with the stupid baking sales.