To think that schools do too many "pay a pound to..." days?

[NewSwimmingMum]

It isn't an issue for us to pay £1 here and there for mufti, odd socks, Christmas jumper etc, although remembering is a different matter!

Am I wrong to think it might add unnecessary pressure to families who are struggling? There will have been 2 in October, 2 in November and then at least 1 in December.

I guess one good thing is that it is a little more anonymous now school asks us to donate via the online payment system-at least a parent can imply to child they have paid. But not sure they should have to.

Our school does these things all the sodding time. We have had 4 sodding mufti days in these past 2 weeks, each one was pay a pound or bring in food/drink item for Xmas events. There was one last week and 3 this week. Honestly I'm sick to the back teeth of it. Last half term we had a particular mufti day and we didn't have any change that day, the lady taking the money at the school gate was so rude about it all. Decided to send the kids in nob uniform today buy refused to pay on the gate and I said I couldn't afford it, cheeky cow tells me I can always donate on the psa website!

My primary school has only had one non-uniform day this term. No requirement to wear anything with a particular theme. They asked for a voluntary donation of any silver coin and no-one was checking to see who had brought anything in.

The school has so many families who are struggling that there is a regular food bank that is offered to any parent who needs help. It would be madness to expect those same families to cough up lots of money for charity.

My DD is in year 1 and there have been so many dress up days, raffles, school quizzes, fundraisers and requests for costumes that its hard to keep track of them all. And the non school uniform days are never just plain clothes it's always themed/costume events.

YANBU. I've got my son in reception and receive emails one or two weeks in advance, and usually forget by the day that actually happens (I also have two younger sons so my head it's pretty full). Last year I completely forgot about it and dress him as usual in uniform, there was quite a few of other children in uniform in school but feel bad for him. Also the nearest shop is quite far and I am not driving so it usually happens that I don't have the £1 coin. At the beginning of the year they requested £20 via parent pay account "to cover events that usually take place in school" so I assumed it will cover those £1 they constantly ask for. We already have 2 days they asked for and it's not finished yet! I'm thinking of those parent who really can't afford to 'donate' . It shouldn't be mandatory

I you can’t afford it, don’t pay. No one needs to know now payments are generally online. However if you can afford it (and lots can where I live... ) set up a direct debit of £10 a month to school. It will massively take the pressure of the PTA who, let’s face it are just parents trying to raise funds for school.

@Spiceup

I agree and I work in a school that does a lot of it. I have a position where I should be able to influence this but I'm not winning so far!

One of the Ofsted boxes to tick is something to do with social involvement and shools use these days for that. To me it's lazy and doesn't actually teach children anything. There's no lesson in wearing a special outfit and getting parents to donate £1.

The environmental aspect bothers me a lot too. I know you don't have to buy something specially, but we know very many families will.

There's also pressure on staff to donate "voluntarily" but it doesn't always feel voluntary and lots of people in school are on not much more than minimum wage. I have recently reminded the head that 50% of the staff earn less than a third of what she does. She loves a charity initiative!

@Spiceup

Do you find a lot of kids stay off on those days? The same ones I mean.

"As a single mother working three jobs I could spit on the teacher every time I got another dress up day notification"

Charming. You do know teachers have very little influence over school decisions and 99% of it is decided by management?

@heyheymamaway

"As a single mother working three jobs I could spit on the teacher every time I got another dress up day notification"

Charming. You do know teachers have very little influence over school decisions and 99% of it is decided by management?

IME all these days come from teachers, not management. That's why there's so many of them and so little co oridination. Lots of teachers wanting an easy way to show they've had whole school impact (which affects their performance review and pay progression).

Obviously no one should be spitting at teachers and ultimately it is the leadership's responsibility to get a grip of it if a school is doing too many, but does come from teachers.

Its yet another thing for mothers to factor in- an outfit suitable for the theme, a child stressed about whether the outfit is 'right', the cost, the ethics of whether you actually agree with the charity, the practicalities of paying with a coin/online, and its very rarely the fathers who seem to deal with it.

Plus, I really resent donations via schools that would be £1.25 if I paid £1 direct and gift aided it, but giving it to the school to pass on means the charity only gets £1, its so wasteful .

I don't mind when it's to raise funding for the school because I know how underfunded they are (and yes I do donate directly to the PTA every month as well). I don't really like it when it's for a random charity though as I prefer to choose for myself which charities I want to support.

Plus, I really resent donations via schools that would be £1.25 if I paid £1 direct and gift aided it, but giving it to the school to pass on means the charity only gets £1, its so wasteful .

Is it? If you don't give the gift aid, your 25p goes to education, the NHS etc. If it's a charity you're not particularly bothered about maybe your tax is better where it is?

@RecentYears

Plus, I really resent donations via schools that would be £1.25 if I paid £1 direct and gift aided it, but giving it to the school to pass on means the charity only gets £1, its so wasteful .

Is it? If you don't give the gift aid, your 25p goes to education, the NHS etc. If it's a charity you're not particularly bothered about maybe your tax is better where it is?

That's a very good point, thank you.

Ultimately I would rather pay tax than things be funded via charity so you have really made me think.

The only trouble is our dreadful government. I trust the average charity to spend money more wisely than the current government.

@yellowflowersintherain

I don't mind when it's to raise funding for the school because I know how underfunded they are (and yes I do donate directly to the PTA every month as well). I don't really like it when it's for a random charity though as I prefer to choose for myself which charities I want to support.

Yes I agree. I much prefer any donated money to be used for the school

My kids school just has a donation, doesn't say it has to be a pound.

Yanbu. £30 for ‘enrichment’ activities (no option to decline enrichment, aggressive email demanding payment), nativity costume, CIN collection, poppy collection, costume for fairy day, school charity day donation, harvest festival donation, donation to the Christmas fair tombola, tickets for the nativity, presents for the teachers at Christmas. Nearly £100 in one term for one child in reception ffs. It’s very ostracising for struggling families.

My question to the school would be how much of the £1 goes to the charity . If it’s a local charity (run by volunteers) or paying for school equipment then it’s great .

Maybe if education had more government investment then schools wouldn’t need to keep asking for money constantly.

When I was at school we had one own clothes day a year and we didn’t have to pay as far as I can remember. In any case, schools asking for money was far less frequent. Education is another area that’s being chronically underfunded and it’s a shame when many families are struggling as it is.

None of the non-uniform days go to school funds at ours. It's all charities,

One a term, plus harvest festival. And they sell poppies (following the RBL's policy of no minimum for a donation to that)

(I do remember constant fundraising when I was at school for my school. I don't think there was ever a time when it didn't happen at all)

There is separate PTA stuff - Christmas and Summer fairs, but you can avoid those pretty easily if you want, but they have thriving second hand toy and book stalls. Ditto the termly second hand uniform sale. PTA doesn't find the basic running of the school, but will pay for the 'nice to haves' and does great work in discreetly funding school trips for families unable to pay.

@MoiraNotRuby What about fathers? Do they not have to factor this in? 🤣

[quote Fangsalot89]@MoiraNotRuby What about fathers? Do they not have to factor this in? 🤣[/quote]
As I said, its very rarely the fathers who seem to deal with it.

Based on my observations over 16 years of parenting two children - I'm not defending the patriarchy but it's a horrible and annoying fact of current life.

It irritates me. The PTA seem to be all about making money from parents; constant non uniform days (bring a pound), festive dress up (bring a pound), spotty day (bring a pound), French Day (bring a pound), PJ Day (bring a pound), odd sock day (bring a pound). It’s annoying trying to find last minute change.

Then the discos (£5 a ticket and so badly organised it takes 30mins to get the kids inside, nowhere is labelled for pick up, nowhere to put coats, most of year one missed out on a drink and snack because their class wasn’t called). And parents are expected to be grateful!

Then the cake sales; bit silly in covid times, to have homemade cakes brought in by different households; but it’s ok because it raises money!

Yet they cancel the Xmas Carol concert, Nativity, Xmas Fayre etc (all the things the kids and families actually enjoy and get some meaning from)! It makes me think the PTA just can’t be bothered and take the easy options, using covid as an excuse!

Oh and the endless PTA run ‘colouring competitions’ (pay for a colouring sheet), drawing competitions (pay to enter), raffles, over-priced pub quizzes for parents, pressure to buy a mug, tea towel and set of Xmas cards because your child scribbled a drawing on it (yet they can’t run the Xmas Fayre due to covid?) I don’t get it. I know they raise funds for the school but it’s a mystery where the money actually goes!

@FateHasRedesignedMost

It irritates me. The PTA seem to be all about making money from parents; constant non uniform days (bring a pound), festive dress up (bring a pound), spotty day (bring a pound), French Day (bring a pound), PJ Day (bring a pound), odd sock day (bring a pound). It’s annoying trying to find last minute change.

Then the discos (£5 a ticket and so badly organised it takes 30mins to get the kids inside, nowhere is labelled for pick up, nowhere to put coats, most of year one missed out on a drink and snack because their class wasn’t called). And parents are expected to be grateful!

Then the cake sales; bit silly in covid times, to have homemade cakes brought in by different households; but it’s ok because it raises money!

Yet they cancel the Xmas Carol concert, Nativity, Xmas Fayre etc (all the things the kids and families actually enjoy and get some meaning from)! It makes me think the PTA just can’t be bothered and take the easy options, using covid as an excuse!

Are you on the PTA?

Fatehasresigned - sounds like you need to get on the pta and sort them out! I'm sure they could do with some more volunteers

Yanbu. I understand the PTA events to get funding for school, but I don’t see why schools should be used as a vehicle to force donations to other charities and the whole thing feels uncomfortable to me.