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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that schools do too many "pay a pound to..." days?

302 replies

NewSwimmingMum · 18/11/2021 07:09

It isn't an issue for us to pay £1 here and there for mufti, odd socks, Christmas jumper etc, although remembering is a different matter!

Am I wrong to think it might add unnecessary pressure to families who are struggling? There will have been 2 in October, 2 in November and then at least 1 in December.

I guess one good thing is that it is a little more anonymous now school asks us to donate via the online payment system-at least a parent can imply to child they have paid. But not sure they should have to.

OP posts:
PingedPotato · 18/11/2021 08:27

@Ragwort that is well dodgy! Who is running these schools!

INeedNewShoes · 18/11/2021 08:28

I’ve been relieved to find that DD’s school don’t make habit of this. She has her first non-uniform day of the term tomorrow with a donation (amount not specified).

I’m crap at making costumes etc so have been dreading that element of school, but it hasn’t arisen yet.

Spiceup · 18/11/2021 08:29

This is so shocking to me. The schools accounts must look odd. Someone just needs to take it to the bank. It's not hard. It doesn't have to be in their job description.

So who goes? Or do you think someone should do it in their own time?

The money never goes through the school accounts. Why would it?

womaninatightspot · 18/11/2021 08:30

Our school seems to have quit the £1 days. So this Friday we're having a dress down/ in spots or yellow if you want for children in need. The choice to donate to charity is for individual families to make.

womaninatightspot · 18/11/2021 08:31

Our school is also cashless now.

Robloxdiamonds · 18/11/2021 08:33

@beatrice82

Disagree - we have 300 families at my school. If everyone donated a quid then we'd have £300 which can make a huge difference. It's only a quid.
Its not "only a quid" though and that's the OP's point. There can be one a week. That's four quid a month. Two kids in school makes eight quid. Work insisting on the same nonsense. That's ten quid a month. Every month is over a grand across the year.

We live in a low income/low employment area and I know lots of parents cannot afford it all. Our DC school are quite good and have really cut back on it all since Covid. The main charity they encourage donations to is the local foodbank, which they have admitted that a lot of the parents themselves utilise. Last Christmas they insisted that instead of buying teachers presents, a donation be made to the local foodbank. Which I thought was an excellent idea.

StripyHorse · 18/11/2021 08:34

In the past through supply teaching I have seen different attitudes from the schools and I think that is key.

Some make a big deal about children that don't bring the £1 or whatever they are asked.

Others, my daughters' former primary school included, take the attitude that not everyone can afford and it isn't the childrens' choice.

DD's former school ask for items OR £1 before the school fair, e.g. chocolate- it means it's often possible to spend less but still take (or more if you choose).

Xmasprrssiehelp · 18/11/2021 08:37

I haven’t used cash in years! So it is a faff as I have to go withdraw £10 each time. However since covid school have put all donations on the payment app - much easier

PineappleWilson · 18/11/2021 08:37

Yes, I wrote to DS' school about the pay £1 and go non-uniform days, which by that point were one a month. I pointed out that the same kids every month, turned up in their uniform on these days and it really made them stand out. Young children don't get to choose whether they participate, it's a decision only their parents can make and by holding these days repeatedly, the school are making such kids conspicuous, which is hugely unfair. The PTA were obviously told, as they then put out a Fb message asking parents to please let their children [articipate if they could Hmm and the number of them then tailed off.

Inastatus · 18/11/2021 08:39

This is grating on me too OP. I’ve had one too many requests to pay for things for school lately. I was a bit confused when I was asked to pay £3 for non-uniform days for DD who is in sixth form and doesn’t even wear a uniform any more!

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 18/11/2021 08:39

Back in 2013 my daughters school managed to get £40 out of me in 2 months. This came under bring in food for party, xmas jumper, nativity tickets £5 each, jeans for genes day! 2 months! My heart sunk every time she came out excitedly waving a letter.

This year my youngest has a trip in which she will be there an hour! £15 with 2 weeks notice. It isn't loads of money, but I am lucky enough to afford it now. So many families just can't afford that added extra, especially just before Christmas!

Longdistance · 18/11/2021 08:39

Yanbu. It’s a pain as it’s also, dress up this that and the other. It lays on pressure to those who can barely put food on the table, let alone £1 for a charity built for those exact people.

MadinMarch · 18/11/2021 08:40

@Spiceup
The worst part is half the time all the change stays in the school safe forever because with cashless schools no one goes to the bank anymore. We've got out of date pound coins that were collected "for charity" in our safe.

It's not part of anyone's job to take it and no one wants to do it.

Well, that's really rather pathetic.
I would have thought that someone in the school could be proactive enough to ask teachers for their 'wish lists' or come up with other ways that the money could be spent usefully.

Hoptoit1 · 18/11/2021 08:40

@beatrice82

Disagree - we have 300 families at my school. If everyone donated a quid then we'd have £300 which can make a huge difference. It's only a quid.
Only a pound, but what happens if you have more than 1 child/can't afford a £1? In the op example that's £5, I have 3 children that would be £15. My universal credit has been cut like many others at a time when utilities and food prices are increasing £15 (even a pound) is a lot of money to many. And before someone says you shouldn't have children if you can't afford them I was working in a professional job before I became disabled and unable to work people's circumstances change. We should be thinking of other ways to teach the children about giving /social participation. My dcs last school got all the children to make cards for the local nursing home then the older children visit, sing Christmas carols and then talk to the residents over mince pies, it doesn't cost the parents anything but the children learn about the community, the people and giving time. Schools have a lot of pressure on them to tick boxes and giving a £1 is an easy way to tick a box, so I can understand why they do it but maybe schools need to become more aware of the effects this has on families.
TurnUpTurnip · 18/11/2021 08:41

Some kids do chose those my kids school is doing a PJ day tomorrow but my son is getting older now and is too embarrassed to wear them to school, he doesn’t want to go outside and get on the bus in PJs, I don’t blame him tbh but then you end up being the only one not wearing them then standing out for that reason

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 18/11/2021 08:41

Oh and another thing!
Things like children in need! Where something with Pudsey on, even just a head band or socks! Great! But pay a £1 to school to donate!
I never thought about this but if you buy something with Pudsey on, you are already making a donation as the money from thay goes to CIN! Why am I being asked to donate again...I have already donated £5 buying a headband!

saveourtrees · 18/11/2021 08:44

@AuntieStella

That's a lot.

Our school would have no more that one a term, plus selling poppies (which have no minimum donation)

Thats funny, my children wanted a poppy each so I gave them 30p each. They came home angry at me because a paper poppy costs a pound. Well I don't have a pound each so they have nothing now.
FrDamo · 18/11/2021 08:44

Our primary school had a once per term limit on these things and it was in a well to do area.

I was never party to the rationale of the termly limit but I doubt it was financial concerns on behalf of the affordability for the parents. More likely the powers that be had decided on the frequency in years gone by and it just stuck.

Chely · 18/11/2021 08:48

We've got 5 kids at school and these donation days add up fast. I don't mind them if not too often but then they add the charity shop stuff and I get hounded by the kids to buy all that tat too, ugh!

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 18/11/2021 08:48

YANBU, absolutely - it seems like we get emails every 5 minutes about donating a pound here and there.

I usually don't have a pound to spare, let alone the £200 the school wants for a 2 night residential trip right now.

MarmitesMyMate · 18/11/2021 08:49

My ds senior school do £1 for non uniform for various reasons. If they forget the £1 they get sent home to change into uniform.
Disgusting!
My son lost his once on way to school didn't realise he had hole in coat pocket. By time they sent him home I was out. He also lost key out of said pocket!
So he was Locked out, so couldn't even change. I got back at 11.45 and rang the school and said he wouldnt be be in the rest of day!

4amstarts · 18/11/2021 08:49

Next non uniform for a £1 day I'm sending my daughter in with a bag of 100 pennies from an old money box because that's literally the only cash we have in the house now 😂

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/11/2021 08:50

@beatrice82

Disagree - we have 300 families at my school. If everyone donated a quid then we'd have £300 which can make a huge difference. It's only a quid.
That will depend on how many children you have in school and how often the events happen.
Petergains78 · 18/11/2021 08:51

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SickAndTiredAgain · 18/11/2021 08:51

Its not "only a quid" though and that's the OP's point. There can be one a week. That's four quid a month. Two kids in school makes eight quid. Work insisting on the same nonsense. That's ten quid a month. Every month is over a grand across the year.

It is not over a grand Confused