To think that schools do too many "pay a pound to..." days?

[NewSwimmingMum]

It isn't an issue for us to pay £1 here and there for mufti, odd socks, Christmas jumper etc, although remembering is a different matter!

Am I wrong to think it might add unnecessary pressure to families who are struggling? There will have been 2 in October, 2 in November and then at least 1 in December.

I guess one good thing is that it is a little more anonymous now school asks us to donate via the online payment system-at least a parent can imply to child they have paid. But not sure they should have to.

At one of my kids schools in addition to the £1 there is always something like wear yellow, wear multicolour, wear spots! It ends up being expensive if your child is lacking the correct colour! It is also usually mentioned last minute that's it's not just non uniform but there some kind of theme!

My ds school used to ask for £1 but since covid, they’ve increased it to £2! And to piss me off even more, it’s normally on a Friday which is his PE day so he’s in his sports clothes anyway. I either send nothing, or £1 if I feel particularly generous or really support the charity.

@Frogsareflyinginfromthewest - our town begins with a K too, wonder if it’s the same one?!

I do feel like saying something the next time they send a newsletter about recycling and waste etc when a week or two later it's wear it green day or something and many parents feel pressured to go out and buy a specific item of clothing for it

We have a pupil contribution (about 400EUR for both my kids - I think it's about 300 for 1 child), which the school greatly appreciates (but will also happily talk to families who are struggling). We provide our own supplies (exercise books, pencils, text books etc.). The school is non-school uniform, so there's perhaps 2 special days a term (I think we've had a PJ day, and Halloween) with a 1 or 2 euro donation, and the PTA have done Christmas cards and a recipe book this year, since we haven't been able to have the May fair or Christmas fair this year.

I think they have got it about right collection-wise, and I use a service to get all the books at the beginning of the year so the only overhead is sitting naming everything (I would previously have said it would be easier if the school got it all, but since covid, it was actually bloody lucky that we all had our individual stuff)

The fact of the matter is that if a school wants nice things, the money has to come from somewhere, and it's not the government :S

It’s not just the £1 though, it’s often the cost of a Christmas jumper as well, or a green top on green day when they never wear that colour, a team jersey etc.

It’s a lot easier to blow off these things when you’re financially secure and refuse to spend money on silly things that won’t be worn again but it must be harder if you’re struggling and trying to hide it.

I have a vulnerable ds because of asd so fitting in on these days is important. I resent them so much.

YANBU
I don't mind PTA fundraisers that it's easy to opt into/out of and will happily donate to them.
What I really don't like is the sheer number of 'wear something ...' for assorted charities. As a family we already donate to causes we care about and often we don't have the required colour/item so it's money on a donation and time/money to source an item that we wouldn't have used otherwise.

I just don’t always pay. Sometimes because I forget. Sometime because I don’t like the charity. If it’s a cause I like I pay more.never felt pressured one way or the other.

Our school would say we didn’t have to buy costumes we could make them missing the point that most families are also time poor as well as money poor.

I’m so fed up of the moaning about this. If you don’t want to or can’t afford it then don’t pay.
Do you know that being involved in charity fundraising is something that schools are expected to do when inspected?
The money isn’t going into the teachers party fund! It’s for charity or buying stuff for the school to better the experience of all your children.

Also our nursery this week has been ridiculous for children in need. Every day there has been a different outfit. I’ve not bothered because I don’t have the time to be frank. I’ll put a fiver in the pot but I’m not sodding about finding yellow outfits or spotty outfits for a potty training 2 year old.

The money isn’t going into the teachers party fund! It’s for charity or buying stuff for the school to better the experience of all your children.

In one poster's experience it's sitting in a safe doing nothing.

In another it's being divided up between charities at the end of the year so not even going towards the charity they thought it would.

With this level of corruption I will be opting out and donating direct to a charity of my choosing.

YANBU at all. If you're in a position to help change this a bit then have a look at the Cost of the School Day toolkit developed by Child Poverty Action Group and share it with others in the school. cpag.org.uk/scotland/CoSD/toolkit

The schools round us are using it to understand the issues and look at alternatives.

I agree it's a lot of money when every penny counts. I think/hope my DC's school (in deprived area) is quite relaxed about the donations (it's all online now which I guess means children don't need to know), but it's certainly an additional pressure. Children in Need is a particularly one for me - these are 'children in need'! Seems bizarre that the school is simultaneously running a well-used food bank and asking for cash donations.

We just had poppy day, which had to be a pound. Not a donation. Then yesterday a pound for a Pudsey badge. I didn't know about it so my youngest was in tears. Hopefully they do it again today. Then another pound tomorrow for mufty day. Its not a lot but times that by 4 kids... that's £12 in 2 weeks. That and the schools communication is poor. Some get told about these things and other not!

It’s not even just the £1.

Then you have mufti theme days with very little notice (we usually get an email at 3pm the day before). so wear a bright colour. Christmas PJs / jumper whatever. And no you don’t have to do it… but I don’t know about anyone else but I felt very guilty and like they would stick out like a sore thumb if I didn’t!

The issue comes from the fact that schools are hugely underfunded, hence they need to ask parents who are using them to top up the difference. It would be better all round to put up taxes to fund education properly so that all schools in all areas got adequate funding and do not have to rely on asking parents for money every few weeks.

I’m so fed up of the moaning about this. If you don’t want to or can’t afford it then don’t pay.
Do you know that being involved in charity fundraising is something that schools are expected to do when inspected?
The money isn’t going into the teachers party fund! It’s for charity or buying stuff for the school to better the experience of all your children.

The Ofsted inspection framework doesn't say schools have to do regular charity fundraising days. It's certainly not expected.

There's also an argument that schools should take into account the range of backgrounds that their pupils come from and be mindful of initiatives that either single out children or create a barrier to education.

The problem is that it isn't just about the £1 that has to be paid. It's the time and effort to find the required item as well. Some families have multiple children in a school so that adds up too.

Then add in that many of these days involve something that signals whether a child is taking part or not, so a parent is put in a position where they either have to make it work or their child is the only one not in their pyjamas/not wearing odd socks/not wearing polka dots.

Plenty of schools manage to meet the requirements of the Ofsted framework without dozens of charity days a term.

Totally agree. If someone has 3 kids and there are 2 'pay a pound' days in a month, that's six quid they might not have. That's not a lot of money to most people, but for someone who is struggling, six quid is a week's worth of packed lunch ingredients.

@DraigFach

Raise it with your school. Ours is mindful of the impact it has on families so it's rare we have more than 2 "pay £1 to wear your own clothes" day in each half term.

The school council vote on which days to fundraise for so it's down to the children ultimately which is quite nice.

Wow. Two in each half term seems a lot to me. I can understand that a family on a tight budget would struggle with that. At DC's schools it was more like two a year and no one was excluded from whatever activity it was if the family didn't contribute (i know because I forgot a couple of times).

That was 10/15 years ago though so maybe things have changed since then.

For tomorrow's own clothes day in aid of Children in need my ds's school sent a message that the £1 had to be paid today otherwise they're not allowed to be in own clothes.
DD of course forgot his pound on the seat of the car! And I'm not making a special trip in to go and give it.
If he wants he'll be in own clothes and will take it tomorrow, they're not going to refuse are they?
This is the 3 one since September, he always takes the money in, sometimes a day late because he forgets but before the holidays we'll have atleast another two just for his school then two at dds primary.

Like many families, we find it’s often tough to get by, but we are not a ‘low-income’ family so can’t ask for help. (Which is fair enough). We have sometimes been unable to afford dress up days, charity donations, and school trips. If the school asks for charitable donations and the kids just throw it in a bucket at the school gate, I think that’s generally ok. But if the child is asked for it directly, that’s wrong. It’s really unfair to make kids feel socially excluded at school because of thoughtlessness about the reality of their lives.

On another note, I have personal concerns about the integrity of some of the charities that schools raise money for eg Oxfam, Mermaids, Samaritan’s purse. And I resent schools trying to groom children into supporting these organisations. I would much prefer schools only raise money for themselves or local charities such as food banks.

This is so shocking to me. The schools accounts must look odd. Someone just needs to take it to the bank. It's not hard. It doesn't have to be in their job description.

So who goes? Or do you think someone should do it in their own time?

Well, it seems very silly to go to the effort of raising/asking for the money in the first place if you have no intention of paying it in to the charity. In fact, not so much silly as fraud/theft.

If you don't have time or the desire to do all of the necessary basic parts of an event, most people with reasonable intelligence would realise that you don't do the event at all; or if it's just handling the money that you can't be bothered to do, don't charge a fee (or ask people to donate somewhere themselves). It's very simple indeed.

Our school will take donations of old Nativity/school play outfits and you can borrow them rather than going and getting new. If the school has the storage space this is a win win financially and environmentally!

I'm lucky enough not to worry about the money for donations, but remembering which day you need to have odd socks/spots/red item/yellow item/Christmas jumper/£1/donation for hamper/donation for Chocolate Bingo/items for Christmas party/permission letters etc etc is lot sometimes. Secondary school seems to be much easier in that regard so far (Y8).

Oh what a lot of moaning!

Schools don't do charity fundraising to piss parents off- they do it because it's expected of them. They try to keep it as simple as possible in most cases- after all they are under so much pressure with the curriculum as it is. If you choose to go out and buy a yellow t-shirt or whatever for one of these days, then 'more fool you'!

If you're so short of time and money how do you manage to be on here moaning about donating £1 or finding a simple dress-up item. I wonder why people have kids really when they have no time or money for them? I have no sympathy for people with multiple kids who then complain about paying for multiple kids! Some people fall on hard times, but most must have known before they had kids that they would struggle to support them.