To think that schools do too many "pay a pound to..." days?

[NewSwimmingMum]

It isn't an issue for us to pay £1 here and there for mufti, odd socks, Christmas jumper etc, although remembering is a different matter!

Am I wrong to think it might add unnecessary pressure to families who are struggling? There will have been 2 in October, 2 in November and then at least 1 in December.

I guess one good thing is that it is a little more anonymous now school asks us to donate via the online payment system-at least a parent can imply to child they have paid. But not sure they should have to.

Yanbu. I have been very vocal in governor meetings since covid that the school need to minimise asking for money full stop. I've verbally smacked down some objections to this as well.

This children in need will be the first pay a quid day this year.

It's sad to think that so many of these schools will have sat down and specifically drawn up policies aimed at boosting inclusion in the school and reduce bullying - and then they go and deliberately reverse all that good work (or if it isn't deliberate, I'm not sure how happy I am about people with those limited reasoning powers teaching children).

Jack Whitehall once told a joke about desperately wanting to have one of those anti-bullying wristbands, to show his support for a great cause, but he had no money to buy one himself, so he mugged a 'fat, spotty, ginger kid' and stole his. Sometimes, comedy can skate uncomfortably close to reality, though, when you look at the upshot of a lot of these 'special' school days.

@FortunesFave “thoughtless.”
Yes it’s unbelievably thoughtless that the under funded schools have to rely on parental donations to pay for things like books and new laptops just to complete the simplest tasks dictated by the upper echelons of society 🤣
I imagine nearly every single thing the schools or PTAs ask children to be involved in are voluntary. If you cannot afford £1, speak with the school and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind the child coming in on own clothes day and not paying.

I find this time of year there are more, we have one in November then one in December. But it is donation and not a set amount.
My children have the option to take in old toys or books as a donation tomorrow and I am more than happy to do this as I can declutter!
The donations of money are put in a bucket so no one can see if you donate pence or pounds.

@EdenFlower the absolute voice of reason.
It’s as if the schools have nothing better to do than go begging for funds. 🤣

If you cannot afford £1, speak with the school and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind the child coming in on own clothes day and not paying.

Because poor parents don't care about dignity, eh? Especially when they simply cannot spare £1 to give and know they will have to explain that to somebody who might well be like some of people on here, reacting open-mouthed with "But it's only £1!"

And to add its not just a pound.. A pound to some is a loaf of bread or a net of clementines, bunch bananas.! This is huge for some people

And for things like children in need. Ans being made to participate (as previously said at ds school don't pay then not allowed participate)
Parents should choose if they want to doknate to large fundraisers.

Maybe if it was the odd one like raise money for new play equipment etc that is FOR THE SCHOOL! then people wouldn't mind as much we would be less frequent and the pupils would see the benefits and outcomes.

I had to buy dd spotty pj's for school tomorrow. We didn't have anything we could draw spots on as all her pj's are new.
So that was £8 plus £2 for the donation

Ds £1 non uniform.
So £11 so my kids don't feel left out.

There is no expectation that schools do lots of these charity days. I wish people would stop saying it.

The last few schools I've worked in haven't done close to what some posters on here are experiencing and all have considered the impact on families and inclusion when planning any events.

No school has to have regular wear odd socks/wear something yellow/dress up day/wear polka dots days for assorted charities.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll
There’s nothing undignified about being poor and assuming they would feel this way is part of the problem. If it’s such a huge issue for them to take part, then an honest, Frank and confidential discussion is what’s needed.
The school doesn’t want to be in the position to make people feel like this and quite frankly, I reckon those that do are very few and far between. It’s usually an issue for those that can afford but don’t want to and dress it up under a banner of highlighting it for a good cause.

Both my DD’s school state “£1 optional donation”, you don’t have to pay it if you don’t have it, it’s a donation?

Dd1 has had 2 this week but has opted to only do one of them (tomorrow for CIN).

I had to buy dd spotty pj's for school tomorrow. We didn't have anything we could draw spots on as all her pj's are new.
So that was £8 plus £2 for the donation

Did the school really say wear spotty PJs? I can understand something spotty or wear your PJs, but spotty PJs is very specific for a dress up day.

@EdenFlower Shhhhh!

Some schools don't get the government funding so they need the £1 here and there. I live in an affluent area and the local school is an academy. They need the money. I'm happy to donate it but it can be overwhelming receiving constant messages for donations!

@MarmitesMyMate Can you afford £11?

I don't mind the £1 donations (because I'm in a position to be able to afford them) but I do get fed up of the 'wear this colour' and dress up costume days. Again I can afford them but 1) it's not very environmentally friendly and 2) it's the faff!

It's all very well saying don't take part but when your child is in a school where literally every child has a decent costume (I am not exaggerating, I have yet to see a child who is not in a bought costume) then she'd be really upset to be sent in the 'wrong' stuff. She's only 5, these things a matter when you're little and kids are mean when peers stand out!

At least I'm building a stash ready for when the younger one starts school and needs them too. And they can be donated to the school when we're finished with them I suppose, the Reception Teacher would be grateful for them in the dressing up box.

They don't think about the effect these days have on neurodiverse children either. There are two little boys in my child's class with ASD and their mums who I'm friendly with have told me they both have to spend ages, like a week or two in advance planning, talking the children through the change to routine, finding clothes that don't irritate them. Again, school would excuse the boys no problem but then they'd be upset to be excluded from the fun and likely end up in meltdown from that anyway. No win situation!

Difficult one. If you don’t pay it they have a go at the child. I had to move my daughter to another school because of it.

others have made the same point - £1 isn't a huge deal imo, provided it's only say once or twice per term, but dressing up say once a term [not unusual in primaries] is a huge deal, loads of expense and faff, discriminates against parents who don't have the time and/or budget to do it and against kids whose parents can't or won't make the effort. in my kids' classes it's always been the same poor children who always turn up in their regular uniform on a 'dressing up day', i've occasionally toyed with the idea of sending in one of mine with a spare for this reason.

Our school always makes it very clear that it's a voluntary contribution- everyone comes unto school in home clothes, and they suggest a voluntary contribution of £1 or 50p. We still do a bucket on the gates, so you can chuck in a £2 or a handful of coppers and no one will know the difference.

It's important to have a choice about the charities you donate to. I don't want to contribute a penny to Oxfam, for example, after finding out about the various antics they got up to in the Caribbean. Many charities employs expensive PR-driven execs with huge salaries, whose pockets we unquestioningly line with these "bring a pound" events. All it's teaching pupils is to accept that anything with a "charity" label is a good thing. That's not always the case.

Dressing up days are also presented as home clothes with the option of a costume if you want. So "pirate" day will have some kids in full on costumes, some with just an eye patch, loads of kids just come in pjs/onesies (this seems to be quite specific to our school! No one ever spelled out this option, but my kids picked it up from the older ones. I love completely unacknowledged school traditions like this)

Agree with you. Two quid tomorrow for Pudsey and four quids of t-shirt ruined by painting spots on them - so six quid - when the irony is, as a single mum on UC; my kids are children in sodding need (but as I earn the princely sum of 10k per year, they do not qualify for free school meals). They don't even want to do it. Don't get me started on the panto - no you cannot opt out, even though we aren't legally allowed to call it mandatory (ds does not want to go, it cost 12.50 per child, I asked what alternative arrangements for those not going to be told it was a 'whole school trip' and there were no alternative arrangements. They relied on me not refusing to pay by saying that if parents didn't pay, the trip would be cancelled. Boo fucking hoo).

My DS (senior) school is having a non-uniform day next week to raise funds for a charity. We have been sent a letter asking for £1, to be paid via the online system. As a pp mentioned, this online payment COULD mean that everything is anonymous and those who's parents can't or won't pay are not singled out. But the letter states (rather threateningly in my opinion) that there will be a payment check carried out at registration on the day. So basically if parents don't pay the child will be singled out either by having to wear uniform or being questioned about this in registration.

Yes, parents who are struggling could contact the school and ask for special consideration. But should they need to do this for something that has bugger all to do with the child's actual education. Aren't things difficult enough already for families who are struggling financially. I'm sure those that plan these events think it's only £1 so what's the problem- but if you can't afford to pay for food and heating every £ is spoken for

I think £1 is ok, it's just a bit annoying as we never have any change lying around these days, I pay everything by card

I think it is a joke at our school seriously.

School Disco, £1 entry plus extra for food, drinks, toys. Suggested amount £5. Anti bullying day £1. Bring cakes to school to be sold, bring money to buy them. Dress as an Elf day £1 plus the cost of the outfit. Xmas fair see Santa £1.50, various stalls to buy presents. £1 for school funds. School play £2.50 a ticket. Bring a gift set/box chocs for hamper. Tickets to try and win the hamper (which we also have to sell).

The list goes on and on. I have twins so it’s the above x2. Also have to pay for school trip next June that is £300 EACH!! Yes I could say no to it but all their friends are going.

Yes I agree- DD starting in an early years setting attached to a primary school this year has been an eye opener. An example of how extra I am finding the activities involving money is Children in Need. School messaged too say CIN day- students may wear official CIN merchandise only on the Friday (so that involves a trip to Asda to spend £4 minimum on cheapest item- the pudsey bear ear headband) and parents should then ALSO make a donation on the school's JustGiving page for the child to wear specially purchased official merchandise to school for that day. I was quite gobsmacked that parents are being expected to essentially fork out twice- I know it's for charity but at this time of year, with the type of year many have had due to Covid (job losses etc) I think it's completely unreasonable of the school to be asking this. Also on Justgiving page it seems parents are putting their child's name as donor name (presumably so school knows who has paid) and the amount they're contributing is also visible. Which again, for families suffering financial hardship is awkward because they are unlikely to be able to afford £4 on a headband AND then a £5 contribution on the justgiving page. I haven't said anything because I don't want to be 'that' parent but the whole thing just feels so wrong. What happened to just sending the kid in in own clothes/mufti for the day with £1 to shove in a bucket on the gate??

@puffyisgood

others have made the same point - £1 isn't a huge deal imo, provided it's only say once or twice per term, but dressing up say once a term [not unusual in primaries] is a huge deal, loads of expense and faff, discriminates against parents who don't have the time and/or budget to do it and against kids whose parents can't or won't make the effort. in my kids' classes it's always been the same poor children who always turn up in their regular uniform on a 'dressing up day', i've occasionally toyed with the idea of sending in one of mine with a spare for this reason.

My DH is a primary teacher and keeps a box of spare dressing up clothes (mainly outgrown by our DC) in his cupboard for this reason. Perhaps you could see if your school do the same and offer them outfits your DC have outgrown?