To wonder if the majority of women might be happier without men

[Mummylookatmex1000]

I like men and always have, however, ever since I became a mum I’ve noticed the complete unfairness in life for females.
I think back to my mum and although my father’s a good man and was a good dad in his own way, it was my mum who was often in the background and busted her ass more.
In my group of friends, even the ones in happy relationships, they seem happier in the home or things run more smoothly when their dh’s/dp’s aren’t around.
In the less happy relationships, the women prefer when their partners aren’t around or weekends are filled with moodiness/stresses etc.
I remember in my own childhood, having to work around my dads moods or it affecting the family if he was stressed etc

Would we be happier if we were just a large community of women, with our friends and family?

No. I adore the men in my life. My partner is an equal partner and I wishing accept anything less.

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I wouldn’t be. I love women but my husband, son, dad, and BIL are some of my most favourite people in the world.

I think if your friends find themselves dodging their partner’s moods when they are around then they’re not in good relationships.

I’m sorry you had to work around your dads moods as a child. No one should have to walk on eggshells in their own home .

No, my dad was as hands on as my mum. Both worked full time and shared childcare duties. My husband and I are equal partners too. All the men in my life are as important as the women.

Oh 🤣ok then

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I think work environments & politics & crime rates would benefit but I like them men in my life.

I think you'll get hundreds on NAMALT posts, but judging by the number of posters who seem to be in shit relationships, I'd say you're probably right

It is true, we grow using our mums as a standard and most mums put themselves second to the needs to the husband so it is not difficult to fall in the same role.

I have found that, in general, my divorced friends are much happier than my married friends, but that is not because they no longer have men in their lives but because they have learned to say “fuck that! do it yourself” or walk out when a man unfairly expects them to do everything for them.

I think yes. A lot of women would but they don't know it because they are trapped on a treadmill within a patriarchal society and socialised to have very very low expectations. Most women haven't had the chance to try it out and think a guy that cooks and cleans is somehow a wonder.

What! No! I'd hate this. I love the men in my life. They're supportive and pull their weight at home.

I think Mumsnet can easily be a very anti male place (for good reason sometimes). But I think there are lots of reasonable and good men out there. Its also easy to be affected by confirmation bias if you read through the posts here as most users are female and most come with a male/partner issue to be solved.
Most men I know are decent and there are lots of men that also put up with women who are not pleasant either but you dont hear about it. You will get lots of interesting replies in this thread.

@Mummylookatmex1000 I know what you're saying and you have some good valuable points. However, whilst some men are useless with the grunt work, and domestic shit and childcare, they are still valuable to many women, and in many relationships. And some men ARE hands-on, and not all women are perfect.

My DH gets on my nerves sometimes as he has days when he won't stop talking and narrates what he is watching on TV, and gets a bit moany some days, but I would hate to be without him. He was away a few days a little while back, and I was alone.

What little extended family I have live 30-40+ miles away, and DD left home a few years back and lives 20 miles away, and has a busy life - so I didn't see her for those few days, (or anyone else,) and I really missed DH's company. The house was quiet and there was no life or atmosphere in it.

I'm not saying ALL women have a sad, cold, quiet home with no man in it, but that's how I felt without my DH.

So, it really does depend. Also, remember women only post on here usually if they have trouble with their man, not when things are OK/great.

There's nothing more supportive than an all-women environment.
The spanner in the works is if you are a heterosexual woman not prepared for celibacy.

Nope, I’m a Lone parent and my ex isn’t involved at all, life is very very hard, I never get a break. Not sure how it’s easier maybe if your partner is abusive or useless I guess but no all men are so....

🤔 As I say, I adored my dad (still do) he worked hard outside of the home and probably had a lot of stress supporting the family. But, looking back, it was he who had time with his friends, he who had his sports and hobbies..I don’t remember my mum having any of that. I realise this may just be my mum or the time we were in-80’s/90’s, but I just always saw her doing the majority of everything (aside from bringing in the money, she did later on though) she was almost forgotten and I wonder how things must have felt for her. I see it in many other women too, they look so happy chatting with friends or on a girls night etc, a different sort of happy to with their partner.

What if some of our children are young men? Do we stop seeing them at some point? I get what you mean tho - I can't BA with men most of the time. Sooner or later, sexism rears its ugly head again and I'm too old to be bothered fighting the same fights over and over again.

Yes, I think than in general, men are nice and reasonable. It is just that again, we grow up with multiple examples of men not pulling his weight at home, WE ruin them.

When I met my exH he was an independent men who dressed well, kept the house immaculate and cooked like a dream. By the time we split, he was unable to pack a bag, combine his clothes or eve pair a pair of socks.

One of my friends has a very equalitarian relationship with her husband. She says on the morning after the wedding, she made him pancakes for breakfast which he said were horrible and binned. She never cooked again

… he now cooks like a dream though.

@FindingMeno Quite

🙋‍♀️ I see now why my mum was always going on about communes 🤣🤣

Tbh, I wouldn't be happier without any men at all, but I am happier with more women.

@KittyBurritov That’s the thing though, bits and young men are great on the whole, I always remember one of my good friends saying that lots of men seem to change and become arseholes after around age 25

I like men a lot. Most of my colleagues are men and I really enjoy being around them. I have a couple of fairly close male friends who I love seeing. But the fact that I don't live with a man makes my life so much easier. I was in one of those eggshells relationships and know a lot of other women who are too - it's just awful! I love the lack of conflict in my home and the fact that I don't have to put up with moods. Heaven! I know there are men who are not like that, and who are great supportive partners to live with, but around here they are fairly thin on the ground.

*Boys and young men

I'm being very unfair really- my own dad did absolutely everything at home, all the "mental load" shit as well as the cooking, laundry etc. The sad thing is though, as I've got older I've realised he wasn't a superhero, he's actually got very low self esteem, and he's struggled with his mental health for years. People who "do it all" always seem to pay the price, men and women.

I love my partner but we live in separate houses