To wonder if the majority of women might be happier without men

[Mummylookatmex1000]

I like men and always have, however, ever since I became a mum I’ve noticed the complete unfairness in life for females.
I think back to my mum and although my father’s a good man and was a good dad in his own way, it was my mum who was often in the background and busted her ass more.
In my group of friends, even the ones in happy relationships, they seem happier in the home or things run more smoothly when their dh’s/dp’s aren’t around.
In the less happy relationships, the women prefer when their partners aren’t around or weekends are filled with moodiness/stresses etc.
I remember in my own childhood, having to work around my dads moods or it affecting the family if he was stressed etc

Would we be happier if we were just a large community of women, with our friends and family?

@Ledition Did he only become/did you only realise he was a sub standard male after pro creating?

Things run more smoothly when you don't have an additional person to consider, that goes for men and women.

I prefer living with my DH to any of the women I've ever lived with.

I spent most of my thirties single. I love being alone, and I love how supportive and brilliant my friends are. They’re mostly female too, and I feel like I’m in a ‘community’ of women a lot of the time.

It means that when I did meet my BF, I wasn’t desperate for a relationship. My attitude was: unless you can offer me something amazing that I can’t get out of my life as it is now, then I’m not interested.

He did, and I am

But I feel really lucky to have had both experiences and to know that whatever happens with my relationship, I’ll always have that ‘community of women’ around me.

Just to add, I've lived with many useless and lazy women who do all the things men are criticised for on here. The idea that women are all wonderful and helpful and capable is just rubbish.

Yep I think you're right, or at least part time.

At work sure but not at home.

Yes, I think many women as they get older look back on life raising children with a man and think, actually, if I'd legitimately been on my own it would have only been slightly harder and I would have experienced a lot less suppressed rage.

No; I'd hate to live without men. I have a lovely husband and adult sons, a gorgeous grandson, and a number of lomgterm close friends who are men.

"There's nothing more supportive than an all-women environment."

I happen to work in one and I strongly beg to differ...

No I love being with my DH. I'm always happier in his company and love when he's off work. I've been a single mum and though I wasn't miserable, I'm a lot happier and content that I'm married. Plus I love sex.

Which is to say - I think lots of you are still in the denial stage. It's awful, being trapped, either by guilt or economics (and fundamentally, by a patriarchal world) and we find ways to justify it to make it less painful.

@LitCrit Yes, I can completely see that

@LitCrit

Yes, I think many women as they get older look back on life raising children with a man and think, actually, if I'd legitimately been on my own it would have only been slightly harder and I would have experienced a lot less suppressed rage.

Lol at suppressed rage

Ikwym. I’m happy but if dh died I’d be perfectly happy to be single and just have the odd FWB. And we’re happy!

I like the idea of the simplicity of being alone and not having to answer to anyone, ever, about anything (not that I am answerable but dh, kids always want me for something)

Im also not financially dependent on dh and never have been

I’m answer to you’re question - Yes 🥴

There is a really interesting film called “No Men Beyond This Point” about men going extinct. A bit off topic but worth a watch

Your - apologies

@Ledition Did he only become/did you only realise he was a sub standard male after pro creating?

After! Goodness me I wouldn't have countenanced it otherwise. This has been the biggest disappointment of my life. I was utterly convinced he would be a brilliant father. He wanted it so badly. More than me in fact. I laugh about it now but one of my fears when I was pregnant was that our baby would love him more than me.

We had lived happily for a number of years in a major city at the other end of the world. He was smart, seemingly progressive, we lived the highlife and shared the domestic labour, although admittedly there was little of that as we worked insane hours and ate out a lot. The problems only began when we moved to his home"town" (rural backwater) when I was pregnant and it was like a switch flipped. He morphed into his father overnight (think of all the unflattering country bumpkin stereotypes imaginable - sexist, old fashioned etc.) I was honestly reeling from the shock! Still am 5years later. I've never been naïve when it comes to men so I can't compute what happened? I truly thought I'd picked a good one.

Nope, my husband works a lot and it’s not easy. So nice when he’s around as everything is a lot more shared and less pressured. My Dad is also absolutely lovely.

No. We're all fortunate to live in a time where we can have as much or as little interaction with men as we choose. There are all kinds of ways of having a child without a male partner remaining involved. Some women have chosen to do that, and may well be happier for it. But I don't think most women would be, and that's probably why most haven't chosen to live that way.

There's nothing more supportive than an all-women environment

I take it you have never worked in an HR department then.

@3scape

I think yes. A lot of women would but they don't know it because they are trapped on a treadmill within a patriarchal society and socialised to have very very low expectations. Most women haven't had the chance to try it out and think a guy that cooks and cleans is somehow a wonder.

This.

@DillonPanthersTexas

There's nothing more supportive than an all-women environment

I take it you have never worked in an HR department then.

In my experience, all-women environments are terrible. Very passive-aggressive. Men are more likely to just tell me to my face if they have a problem with me. I prefer that approach.

Would we be happier if we were just a large community of women, with our friends and family?

One of my worst nightmares. Been there, done that.

I'm much happier without shitty people - men and women - in general. Very much happy with the select-few wonderful people - men and women - in my life.

I take it you have never worked in an HR department then.

Oooh really? I just started in a female-heavy HR department and I'm really enjoying it so far - what should I look out for?!