To want my children to attend our Christmas meal?

[Worryingmama]

Going to in-laws this year for Christmas Day. We have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. It’s long been in-law tradition to do Christmas dinner as a supper in the evening rather than at lunch. This was fine for the pre-grandchildren years but since we’ve had kids it has bothered me. This year with our eldest being 4 years old, it just seems to mean to have it at a time they will be in bed! In laws claim children don’t enjoy long sit down meals and it’s better to do in adult-only time. For me, even if kids need a bit of persuading to sit down for it, the Christmas meal should be a whole-family celebration.

AIBU to feel quite pissed off about this?

Fuck that, I wouldn’t be eating Christmas dinner without my kids. Politely decline.

To be honest, when we have a long Christmas dinner with extended family the children are allowed to get down when they’ve finished. They come back again for pudding & then go off again to play with toys or watch a film while the adults talk & drink!

Christmas meal after the children’s bedtime?

That would be enough reason to have Christmas at home and travel to them the following day!

Can't the DC stay up late?

I don’t understand why everyone is acting like children at Christmas dinner is such a shitshow; I have 2 boys with constant ants in their pants but if you’re at home or with family they can obviously get down from the table and play with toys near the table or at the table when done. What’s the issue? It’s not like being at a restaurant which would be a clusterfuck.

Since they had lunch at lunchtime when their children were little they clearly understand how much easier and nicer that would be and I wouldn’t bother going!

@MrsFin

Can't the DC stay up late?

You don't reckon they will be quite tired in the evening?

Sorry to clarify I mean Christmas dinner at a reasonable time like 3pm not some insane late evening affair

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

I don’t understand why everyone is acting like children at Christmas dinner is such a shitshow; I have 2 boys with constant ants in their pants but if you’re at home or with family they can obviously get down from the table and play with toys near the table or at the table when done. What’s the issue? It’s not like being at a restaurant which would be a clusterfuck.

Since they had lunch at lunchtime when their children were little they clearly understand how much easier and nicer that would be and I wouldn’t bother going!

In my circumstances it was 15 people crammed tightly around a table with no extra room and all eyes on us/them.

@BiLuminous

Doesn’t sound like a set up to recreate!

I totally see your point. However on the rare occasion we have had Christmas dinner with my parents it has been horrible as my dad just moans about the DC. Mostly it is just us and I couldn't care less if the DC just pull a cracker and have a few bites of dinner before getting back to their presents!

Could you have Christmas day at yours and then you can do as you like. If someone else hosts and you agree to go then ultimately you have to follow their plans. But you can decline the invite if it doesn't suit you.