To think that going out drinking at 35+ isn't pathetic?

[CecilieRose]

I've seen quite a few posts on here lately basically implying that 'real grown ups' don't go out drinking/clubbing/to the pub/out late and I find it really irritating and patronising. What's with this idea that there's something immature about going out and having a good time?

I totally understand that people shouldn't be going out and getting smashed if they have young children to look after but what about childfree adults, and especially single ones? Are they just supposed to sit at home with a cup of tea because they're over some arbitrary cut-off age for having fun?

Before anyone implies it, no, I don't have a booze problem, but I do enjoy going out every other weekend or so, out for dinner and then onto a pub or bar, and often stay until closing. It hadn't occurred to me that being mid thirties, this would make me a tragic figure for some. There are plenty of people my age and older doing the same here in London so it's a bit baffling to think some people seem to consider it pathetic or immature. Why? If a grown adult has a good job and their life together, what on earth is wrong with going out at the weekend?

Because your attitude is weird. What's the difference between having a drink at the pub with the kids present and having a drink at home with the kids present?

I don’t think it’s weird; I wouldn’t have a drink at home either with my children there. I don’t think it’s responsible! And let’s be honest, people in this country don’t have just one, they have several!!! It’s unpopular as an opinion on here where everyone is “cool” and drinks like a fish but I think it’s not appropriate when in charge of children 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Coffeepants

Maybe. I think it’s just such a big part of British “culture” that it’s normal. Not sure it’s the case elsewhere.

My ex was Spanish and it wasn't uncommon to see young children out in restaurants on an evening while people were drinking.

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Because your attitude is weird. What's the difference between having a drink at the pub with the kids present and having a drink at home with the kids present?

I don’t think it’s weird; I wouldn’t have a drink at home either with my children there. I don’t think it’s responsible! And let’s be honest, people in this country don’t have just one, they have several!!! It’s unpopular as an opinion on here where everyone is “cool” and drinks like a fish but I think it’s not appropriate when in charge of children 🤷🏻‍♀️

You are projecting. Not everyone drinks to excess but you're assuming they do, which is clouding your judgement.

Probably 2 nights a week I'll have either 1 large or 2 small glasses of wine after DC go to bed. DH will have a couple of bottles of beer. I fail to see why this should be classed as irresponsible. Seems very over the top and all a bit Helen Lovejoy...

NRTFT

I think it fully depends on the people involved and their lives. I had a very fulfilling youth, lots of travelling and partying. I was over it by the time I settled down and had children. Where’s a lot of my school friends and relatives all had children in their teens early 20s so never had the same kind of carefree social life I had. So they only started having the freedom to go out and enjoy themselves as their children got older.

Family background is also important. I’m from a huge Irish family where going out drinking and socialising is a big part of our culture.

@SpinsForGin I used to live in Spain and it wasn't uncommon to see even very tiny babies out until midnight! One of my favourite bars had people of all ages on the terrace - 70+, young families with kids, groups of 40-something women, university students. At the time one of my best friends was a single 38-year-old woman and she loved joining me at the grungy basement rock bar until 3am. This idea that drinking has some kind of age limit or that it's sad after a certain age seems to be quite a British thing.

Going for a drink in a pub/bar is very different to going clubbing. People at any age go for a drink at the pub.

I know someone who is 40 with primary school age kids that goes clubbing/to raves any chance they get. I'm 30 and I have no inclination to do that and cant imagine why a 40 year old would

Er I have a 6 year old and I go out clubbing prob once a month and get a bit tipsy -recently went on a Butlins adult weekend. Brilliant. Got pretty smashed 😂 and can’t wait for all the Xmas parties coming up woooo. Always loved dancing and a good night out. My Nan was the same her whole life too.
My 6 year old already adores dancing and discos so will likely end up a similar sort of disgrace

@Rapunzel91

Going for a drink in a pub/bar is very different to going clubbing. People at any age go for a drink at the pub.

I know someone who is 40 with primary school age kids that goes clubbing/to raves any chance they get. I'm 30 and I have no inclination to do that and cant imagine why a 40 year old would

Why? What's wrong with clubbing and raves? Why do you think they have an age limit? It's so weird. People go to them because they enjoy music, dancing and socialising. Does everyone have to just stop liking those things the minute they hit 30?

I’m mid 40s I should say and I plan to continue

@Rapunzel91

Going for a drink in a pub/bar is very different to going clubbing. People at any age go for a drink at the pub.

I know someone who is 40 with primary school age kids that goes clubbing/to raves any chance they get. I'm 30 and I have no inclination to do that and cant imagine why a 40 year old would

I'm not really following your logic here - just because you don't want to do something, you can't understand why other people might want to do it?

And do you think that all people of the same age are the same and enjoy the same things, and if so, why?

It reminds me of a girl I worked with way back saying she was going to give her miniskirts to Oxfam because 25 was too old to be wearing them. In my head I just thought "wow, how pathetic'. Another girl took out her helix piercing (top of ear) because she thought 23 was too old for it. Some people really are old before their time!!

@Rapunzel91

Going for a drink in a pub/bar is very different to going clubbing. People at any age go for a drink at the pub.

I know someone who is 40 with primary school age kids that goes clubbing/to raves any chance they get. I'm 30 and I have no inclination to do that and cant imagine why a 40 year old would

Why? Why is clubbing different and why shouldn't you do it at 40 and beyond? Why must we put age limits on things?

[quote CecilieRose]@SpinsForGin I used to live in Spain and it wasn't uncommon to see even very tiny babies out until midnight! One of my favourite bars had people of all ages on the terrace - 70+, young families with kids, groups of 40-something women, university students. At the time one of my best friends was a single 38-year-old woman and she loved joining me at the grungy basement rock bar until 3am. This idea that drinking has some kind of age limit or that it's sad after a certain age seems to be quite a British thing.[/quote]
That was my experience of Spain too.

I've learnt the hard way that life is too short. I love going out and don't plan on stopping anytime soon!

I've enjoyed many nights and early mornings in the best clubs around the world but I hung up my heels when I hit my 40's.
I don't drink that much anymore as I prefer to look after my body now, but I still enjoy the odd glass of wine out and about in London.
Each to their own.

@Rapunzel91

Going for a drink in a pub/bar is very different to going clubbing. People at any age go for a drink at the pub.

I know someone who is 40 with primary school age kids that goes clubbing/to raves any chance they get. I'm 30 and I have no inclination to do that and cant imagine why a 40 year old would

So because you don't like clubbing, you think that anyone who does is odd? Is it really difficult to understand that different people enjoy different things?

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Because your attitude is weird. What's the difference between having a drink at the pub with the kids present and having a drink at home with the kids present?

I don’t think it’s weird; I wouldn’t have a drink at home either with my children there. I don’t think it’s responsible! And let’s be honest, people in this country don’t have just one, they have several!!! It’s unpopular as an opinion on here where everyone is “cool” and drinks like a fish but I think it’s not appropriate when in charge of children 🤷🏻‍♀️

Plenty of people have a glass of wine every night with dinner. Perfectly capable to have one drink without getting smashed.

I believe you said your father was an alcoholic? So your judgment is probably skewed by that. Not everyone drinks to excess that way.

The people calling those getting drunk "pathetic" are the "pathetic" ones to me. Imagine being so judgey, it must be soooo tiring

Imagine being so desperate to seek validation for your habits that you need to justify what you do to strangers on the internet. Live and let live but don’t expect everyone to agree with your opinion. There will be some who think it’s great and others who think it’s pathetic, each for their own reasons. The OP asked, people gave their opinions.

@Coffeepants

Well said.

I agree my father being an alcoholic has made me biased but I have actually seen a lot of other people behaving this way - I’m just more aware of it than most. And people on here may well be unaware of the amount they drink, thinking it’s just one or two but in reality it’s more/thinking your children are fine with being stuck in a pub because you’re having a good time and drinking impairs judgement!

@Coffeepants

Imagine being so desperate to seek validation for your habits that you need to justify what you do to strangers on the internet. Live and let live but don’t expect everyone to agree with your opinion. There will be some who think it’s great and others who think it’s pathetic, each for their own reasons. The OP asked, people gave their opinions.

And here's another one. Why, just why do you think you're so superior? Why do you see someone who enjoys going out needing to 'justify' doing so? What an incredibly messed up point of view. I don't need 'validation' from anyone, I'm just genuinely curious as to why so many people are so incredibly narrow minded and judgemental about grown adults enjoying a drink.

You are honestly talking as if going out for drinks - a perfectly normal, social, legal activity - were a literal crime. It's incredibly weird.

@lololololollll

The people calling those getting drunk "pathetic" are the "pathetic" ones to me. Imagine being so judgey, it must be soooo tiring

I agree. I can't understand for the life of me why they care what people do in their free time. I'm not talking about people who go to the pub and completely ignore/neglect their kids or drink to the point they become a problem and a nuisance for others. I'm talking about people who would judge a 40-something who simply loves clubbing and dancing, simply because they think people should 'grow out of' those things.

It's ageism. It really is.

And people on here may well be unaware of the amount they drink, thinking it’s just one or two but in reality it’s more/thinking your children are fine with being stuck in a pub because you’re having a good time and drinking impairs judgement!

You're making an awful lot of assumptions about people you've never met. You sound very patronising and judgemental. I'm perfectly capable of knowing how much I have drunk and whether the situation is suitable for children or not.

It's absolutely fine if you don't ever want to drink alcohol around children and nobody is forcing you to take them to the pub. I would never judge anyone for holding those opinions or tell them they don't really know what they're doing .....

@Coffeepants

Imagine being so desperate to seek validation for your habits that you need to justify what you do to strangers on the internet. Live and let live but don’t expect everyone to agree with your opinion. There will be some who think it’s great and others who think it’s pathetic, each for their own reasons. The OP asked, people gave their opinions.

You should take your own advice .....

@CecilieRose your OP asked for opinions but anyone who has not agreed with your opinion is a problem here and narrow minded. Could it be that you are narrow minded for not considering there is a life beyond alcohol and some of us can have a perfectly enjoyable outing without it?

Like I said live and let live but you do seem very focused on getting others to see your viewpoint. If you are happy and content with your life, why do you care what others think?

It’s not a crime, but doesn’t come across well when people in their 30s are absolutely plastered. If you can enjoy responsibly then good for you, but this country has a huge drinking problem and it’s very normalized to drink at every opportunity. You don’t actually need a drink to have fun. But sadly in this country it seems most people do.