To think that going out drinking at 35+ isn't pathetic?

[CecilieRose]

I've seen quite a few posts on here lately basically implying that 'real grown ups' don't go out drinking/clubbing/to the pub/out late and I find it really irritating and patronising. What's with this idea that there's something immature about going out and having a good time?

I totally understand that people shouldn't be going out and getting smashed if they have young children to look after but what about childfree adults, and especially single ones? Are they just supposed to sit at home with a cup of tea because they're over some arbitrary cut-off age for having fun?

Before anyone implies it, no, I don't have a booze problem, but I do enjoy going out every other weekend or so, out for dinner and then onto a pub or bar, and often stay until closing. It hadn't occurred to me that being mid thirties, this would make me a tragic figure for some. There are plenty of people my age and older doing the same here in London so it's a bit baffling to think some people seem to consider it pathetic or immature. Why? If a grown adult has a good job and their life together, what on earth is wrong with going out at the weekend?

Each to their own. I love getting pissed with my friends. We have a lot of fun.

Not sure why you care but I do think there is a difference between going out for a few drinks with friends - maybe having a dance and listening to live music and going out with the intention of getting drunk and clubbing. The reason the second is immature compared to the first is the intentional loss of mental faculties, the position this puts you in and the position it puts others in around you. At 19 you are probably still figuring out your cut off point (where you’re relaxed but not incapacitated) but by 35 there is an expectation that you have figured this out. Not to mention the health impacts and dependency issues. I do have friends who still do this in their 40’s. they’re free to do it and seem happy at the time but when we’ve spoken it seems more habit than it actually brings them joy. I wouldn’t do it with them. Interestingly there is a shift in how drinking culture is viewed by the you g, which I think is great and a much more healthy approach.

I think people should just do what they want to do!

Personally, it sounds like hell to me, but I like nothing better than being in my home. Would I judge someone else for enjoying something different? Hell, no!!

[quote authenticforgery]@SagittariusDwarf that's nice... from my experience when I did go clubbing it was all young people. So I would feel silly in a club now.[/quote]
In my experience you just need to find the right club night! Something like Clockwork Orange maybe where most of the people who go are 35+

I was at Ministry Of Sound's 30th Anniversary party at the O2 last Saturday and I'm going to see Pete Tong in Brighton in a few weeks. I'm 48 and dancing is my cardio .

I don't drink alcohol though, to be fair. But nor do I judge people who do.

@Sittingonabench

Not sure why you care but I do think there is a difference between going out for a few drinks with friends - maybe having a dance and listening to live music and going out with the intention of getting drunk and clubbing. The reason the second is immature compared to the first is the intentional loss of mental faculties, the position this puts you in and the position it puts others in around you. At 19 you are probably still figuring out your cut off point (where you’re relaxed but not incapacitated) but by 35 there is an expectation that you have figured this out. Not to mention the health impacts and dependency issues. I do have friends who still do this in their 40’s. they’re free to do it and seem happy at the time but when we’ve spoken it seems more habit than it actually brings them joy. I wouldn’t do it with them. Interestingly there is a shift in how drinking culture is viewed by the you g, which I think is great and a much more healthy approach.

I agree with this.

Of course there’s nothing wrong with going out and having a few drinks at any age.

But going out of your way routinely to render yourself incapacitated, annoying, potentially ill and unable to remember any of it afterwards is very different to using alcohol to supplement something you are doing. The former is something I do think has a shelf life.

If that makes me ageist or a snob then so be it.

Why can't people with children go out drinking?

Asking this is part of why there’s a disgusting drinking problem in this country. Pissed parents looking after children. Bored children sitting in pubs for hours. Lovely.

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Why can't people with children go out drinking?

Asking this is part of why there’s a disgusting drinking problem in this country. Pissed parents looking after children. Bored children sitting in pubs for hours. Lovely.

Firstly, I was responding to the OPs post which seemed to suggest people with young people shouldn't be going out at all. I wasn't actually talking about going out with children.

However, taking children to the pub doesn't necessarily mean pissed parents and bored kids. The pubs in the village where I live are the hub of the community and its normal to take your kids there. In fact, the specifically cater for families. A couple of drinks in a pub and possibly some food doesn't automatically mean parents with alcohol problems 🙄

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

Why can't people with children go out drinking?

Asking this is part of why there’s a disgusting drinking problem in this country. Pissed parents looking after children. Bored children sitting in pubs for hours. Lovely.

I don’t think anyone is suggesting getting hammered with the kids in tow. I think we’re talking about having a night off occasionally, when the other parent or relative does the childcare.

Of course it doesn't have an age limit.

*I was actually talking about going out without children..... not with children

When mine are a bit older I might be going out with them. Even though of course I was mostly out with my mates, I loved it when I turned 18 and could go and have a glass of wine with my mum in a pub before we went to watch a film or something.

I’m 40 this week and I’ve got a hangover at the mere thought of going clubbing.

That’s all me though. I’m such a lightweight.

I think it is pretty regular to go out for a drink around here with friends even with children as someone else might have them or we have children's friend 's parents come over or visa versa. However, not to get drunk, apart from anything i think it is too much to cope with in my early 40s!

Yes, some of our local pubs prefer the family customers as they are part of the community and host stuff from a parents WhatsApp group I'm on etc. They have so many customers who are a parent of the kids at the local primary school but there are lots of pubs around here and some you just wouldn't take your children to. Equally, they sell pizza and vegan food aimed at family audience and clientele of the locals i would imagine!

Late 40s here. Was at a dance event at the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam a couple of weeks ago, with friends in 40s and 50s. It was most excellent. We got chatting with a group of 20 somethings who were also great company, though we did dispense some career and life advice..🤦🏻‍♀️ Age has no limit, and alker seltzer before bed helps hangovers. An occasional blow out is great fun and life is for living

Dyralite is magic

I live in a city which some years back had a notorious binge drinking culture on Friday and Saturday nights. Some of the cctv footage that got into the local paper was shocking. It’s not so bad now but I still feel the city centre is not somewhere I want to be on weekend nights.

We have amazing nights out... I'm 44 and dh is 52. We go for dinner and then out for drinks afterwards usually in a group. We have parties at our house quite a lot that often go on til the early hours...
You're a long time dead life is for living and having fun!
But if it's not your thing that's fine too.

Asking this is part of why there’s a disgusting drinking problem in this country. Pissed parents looking after children. Bored children sitting in pubs for hours. Lovely.

Our local pub has soft play and a fab kids menu. Adults get bored and want to leave long before the kids do!

People on here might not be referring to that but any time I’ve been near a pub (and I had to spend a lot of time in them growing up as my father was an alcoholic) that’s been my experience. Even to go to a nice one for lunch there are parents 3/4 bottles deep rowdy and ignoring bored children on iPads.

Not saying it’s everyone, but this country has a harmful alcohol culture where people can’t stop at one or two and there’s emphasis on getting blasted.

Who gives a flying feck! I like going to gigs, I take my teenage kids to gigs, we drink and jump about and have a good time. I'm 50. So what. I even told my uni son about Rock City in Nottingham. I bloody love the place and now so does he!

As someone who doesn’t drink alcohol, my observation is that this country has an unhealthy obsession with drinking. Work dos, social invitations, meeting up with mums, watching sports all seem to revolve around getting smashed. It’s almost as if there’s no enjoyment to be had without drinking and drinking to the point of excess. I can’t understand it, not my scene but I think if you need alcohol to enjoy yourself that’s probably not the healthiest regardless of age

The mind boggles. Is a pub really an appropriate place for soft play or young children at all?

@Coffeepants

This is undeniably true. We do have a very fucked up attitude to booze in Britain. It’s not so much that we drink more unit for unit - I don’t think we do. It’s the way we do it.

And I speak as someone who likes a drink.