Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

746 replies

Allsortsofroses · 15/11/2021 12:58

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get Hmm).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 15/11/2021 19:49

Oh come on its only a birthday party. Your DC will have one each year. Its really not worth all this fuss.

Your MIL sounds rough, I feel sorry for the Christening lady.

Original poster
Allsortsofroses · 15/11/2021 19:50

The two of you aren't so different after all.

I would not do what she's done

I'm taken aback at the posters on this thread who've said they'd so the same.

Bad mannered and inconsiderate at the v least.

What a poor reflection of our society.

OP posts:
tearinghairout · 15/11/2021 19:50

The birthday child won't care, and that's what matters, isn't it? You are attaching way too much importance to the party. They miss the cake-cutting? So cut it earlier, if it matters that much.

Notonthestairs · 15/11/2021 19:52

You are deliberately missing the point. Posters aren't saying they'd double book - they are saying they'd react a bit more calmly.

Original poster
Allsortsofroses · 15/11/2021 19:53

Your MIL sounds rough

She's not my MIL.

The double booker is not my sil, and double booker's mil is not my mil (or we would be sils).

I can't even .....

OP posts:
NoOtherShadeOfBlue · 15/11/2021 19:55

@Allsortsofroses

The two of you aren't so different after all.

I would not do what she's done

I'm taken aback at the posters on this thread who've said they'd so the same.

Bad mannered and inconsiderate at the v least.

What a poor reflection of our society.

I think the bad manners, inconsiderate behaviour and poor reflection on society is exemplified by the family that bitch at length openly about one woman who’s married in to be honest! Rather than someone who books a christening that clashes with a birthday party. The former comes across considerably worse, whatever she’s done.
Original poster
Allsortsofroses · 15/11/2021 19:55

If the cousin is leaving early to take the other woman's child to the christening, she surely mustn't be too bothered about staying for all of the party, otherwise she would have refused?

She feels she has to attend her only niece's christening.

OP posts:
EerieSilence · 15/11/2021 19:56

What a poor reflection of our society.

This made me snort. So, you post a thread on AIBU. So, the majority of posters don't agree with you.
You refuse to say how old your child is as it happens to be relevant for the situation as it's a child's birthday party, not yours.
You say a compromise was found, yet you are unhappy with the compromise.
You get bitchier with any answer because clearly, when you said Hop Mumsnet, Mumsnet didn't ask why, instead it told you that jumping isn't happening.

I suggest you stop responding (as you wanted to do few posts ago), collect the toys you threw out of a pram and make sure your child has the best possible birthday party ever. It's about them, not you.

Original poster
Allsortsofroses · 15/11/2021 19:57

Posters aren't saying they'd double book

Several posters have said they'd double book /absndjn the birthday invite they'd accepted
without a second thought.

Have a look through the thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
Allsortsofroses · 15/11/2021 20:00

@tearinghairout

The birthday child won't care, and that's what matters, isn't it? You are attaching way too much importance to the party. They miss the cake-cutting? So cut it earlier, if it matters that much.
And eat dessert before savoury food?! Wink

How bout I don't have to change my whole party around cause my relatives spouse is a bad mannered, inconsiderate pillock.

OP posts:
Rainbowshit · 15/11/2021 20:01

Wow you are a charmer aren't you? 🤔

Original poster
Allsortsofroses · 15/11/2021 20:02

@Herewegoagain84

Your kid’s party just isn’t that important… and it never will be to anyone except very close family/friends. Even then, if someone could only drop in for a bit of it I really wouldn’t be remotely fussed. Before the “cake cutting” sounds like the party is completely OTT - who puts a time on that? And who tf cares if someone isn’t there for the cake?! Come on OP…
True.

There's a shit tonne of stuff to do and the party "room" is time limited, so i had to have a loose ish plan.

OP posts:
Original poster
Allsortsofroses · 15/11/2021 20:03

@Rainbowshit

Wow you are a charmer aren't you? 🤔
Aibu tends to do that to people.

Haven't you noticed.

Or they just disappear.

OP posts:
Original poster
Allsortsofroses · 15/11/2021 20:05

@DroopyClematis

OP. I'm so sorry that you've had a hard time on here. Please don't take it to heart.

Your relative was insensitive to not have realised that her child's christening was on the same day. I get the " oh I totally forgot" routine but it's crass.
If the christening date was totally immovable ( doubt it) then your relative should have contacted you immediately, prior to booking.

You're very kind, thank you.

I know what aibu is like.

It's given some interesting perspectives anyway.

OP posts:
Rainbowshit · 15/11/2021 20:09

Rainbowshit
Wow you are a charmer aren't you? 🤔
"Aibu tends to do that to people.

Haven't you noticed.

Or they just disappear."

This is a classic of the type of post where the OP just will not accept that they are being the unreasonable one. Despite the overwhelming majority of the posts saying YABU, the OP refuses to see sense and their tantrum intensifies.

LanaDelBoy · 15/11/2021 20:10

I also want to know about this relaxing, excited-kid-filled, fun, day out that is also egregiously affected if 2 kids and a 'bitch' leave early and don't get to experience the chill-out zones for one-year-olds .

TheChiefJo · 15/11/2021 20:11

"How bout I don't have to change my whole party around cause my relatives spouse is a bad mannered, inconsiderate pillock."

Why is the christening date her fault? Doesn't her spouse, your relative, have any responsibility for that date?

LanaDelBoy · 15/11/2021 20:13

How bout I don't have to change my whole party around cause my relatives spouse is a bad mannered, inconsiderate pillock.

Come on then - list specifically what exactly you are now having to change.

flowerbombVR · 15/11/2021 20:13

Not great but the decent thing would be to accomodate her child/ren to actually help her sort the christening! No? She told you she couldn't get another date. Your reaction is not proportionate.

TheChiefJo · 15/11/2021 20:17

@Allsortsofroses

If the cousin is leaving early to take the other woman's child to the christening, she surely mustn't be too bothered about staying for all of the party, otherwise she would have refused?

She feels she has to attend her only niece's christening.

Has she said that to you? Did she clearly state that she'd prefer to attend the party but cannot be excused from the christening? Does she also think the choice of date is deliberate/selfish?
lisaandalan · 15/11/2021 20:18

I would not be bothered at all x

TheChiefJo · 15/11/2021 20:18

*whole party

TastesLikeFeet · 15/11/2021 20:22

LanaDelBoy

You’ve clearly not read the thread. You’ve got the woman attending the party mixed up with the other woman. Never mind though. You just wanted to come on and be a nasty cow like so many other posters on here so you’ve achieved that at least. 🙄

Lulu1919 · 15/11/2021 20:23

How old is your child
And what relation is the woman and child to you ?

Yummymummy2020 · 15/11/2021 20:24

Would you not see it as she is being considerate in still making an effort to let the child attend the party even though the christening is on the same day 🤷🏼‍♀️ She could easily not bother because to most their child’s christening would be more important. I couldn’t be angry over this given it’s so hard to get a christening date now.