To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

@SpottyBumPony

OP "AIBU?" Everyone else "Yes" OP "No I'm not"

Classic

Absolutely this.

OP honestly, get over it, this is NOT a big deal 🙄

How bout I don't have to change my whole party around cause my relatives spouse is a bad mannered, inconsiderate pillock

That made me laugh out loud, OP. Thank you. I've had a crap day and this thread has cheered me up no end.

I am another one who'd like to know why none of your wrath is aimed at your relative and all of it is aimed at his spoilt bitch spouse.

Well there we are then OP. Everyone in your life IRL agrees with you. This woman is an ill-mannered bitch. Anyone disagreeing with you on this is also an ill-mannered bitch. AIBU is just a cesspit of ill-mannered fckng bitches.

I mean I can't help but think you're acting here as you do IRL - you struggle to get your head around the idea of other people acting in a way that you do not approve of. I'm also wondering why you came on here if everyone IRL agrees with you and you're just going to dismiss any opinions on here. Still, there we are. Have fun at the party.

I just had to go back and check something to check I was right in how I remembered what you posted and I was.

Not a fkg chance.

It's her sibling's child.

She's stuck in this position because double booker has put her in it.

(We're relatives but also longterm mates).

Someone asked why your relative/mate couldn’t tell the double Booker she was staying at the party, and ^ that was your response. Now you’re saying that the relative/mate is your cousin. So surely the double Booker is your cousin, too, if they’re siblings—unless there’s bullshit going on—?

YABU. This really isn't an issue. If it's causing you so much stress just tell christening mum that her kid can't come as what you have planned won't work with her leaving early.

You are making this a much bigger deal than it is.

@Allsortsofroses

If the cousin is leaving early to take the other woman's child to the christening, she surely mustn't be too bothered about staying for all of the party, otherwise she would have refused?

She feels she has to attend her only niece's christening.

Why are her feelings your problem?

Ahh, sorry I get it now, the relative is the poor husband of the ill mannered bitch? I’ll go back to my Jelly Babies and a ring side seat!

It's her cousins wife. Cousin's child is getting christened.

Assuming a theme park ?
Zoo
Walking with Llamas ????

@TheFairyCaravan

I just had to go back and check something to check I was right in how I remembered what you posted and I was.

Not a fkg chance.

It's her sibling's child.

She's stuck in this position because double booker has put her in it.

(We're relatives but also longterm mates).

Someone asked why your relative/mate couldn’t tell the double Booker she was staying at the party, and ^ that was your response. Now you’re saying that the relative/mate is your cousin. So surely the double Booker is your cousin, too, if they’re siblings—unless there’s bullshit going on—?

As best I can tell, the mate is her cousin, and the double-booker is the mate's SIL, so not related to OP. That would make OP's cousin the double-booker's husband, who would also be the mate's brother. That would explain why OP knows all about the intervention to stop him from marrying the double-booker. It would not explain why the christening plans for this child are 100% the fault of the child's mother and not at all the fault of the child's father. Surely she wouldn't just do it without him?

OP - HOW OLD IS YOUR DC?
OP - HOW OLD IS YOUR DC?
OP - HOW OLD IS YOUR DC?
OP - HOW OLD IS YOUR DC?
OP - HOW OLD IS YOUR DC?

Bloody hell, OP, 75 updates since midday-ish today. Has your DC been looking after herself today?!

I would hate to have to spend the whole day at my cousin's kid's birthday party. Can't think of anything worse. Give me a christening anytime. At least you'd probably get a drink.

Also I nominate this batshittery for Classics- we're never going to find out the age of the kid!
Give us a clue OP- is it somewhere between say 6 and 8? 4 and 5? 11 and 14?
I promise I won't be able to identify you!

Let it go , I really don’t understand the issue

@TheChiefJo

Has she said that to you? Did she clearly state that she'd prefer to attend the party but cannot be excused from the christening? Does she also think the choice of date is deliberate/selfish?

I've asked the OP this twice and she hasn't replied so I'm assuming not.

OP- I understand the situation isn’t ideal, but as previous posters have said you are investing far too much anger/contempt on this other woman. It’s isn’t healthy. Will you (your child) enjoy the day less because one friend isn’t there? I really don’t think they would. In addition, it does sound like you and the family dislike this person so I don’t believe that you don’t discuss her, and if that’s the case she will obviously pick up on this. There is just too much vitriol coming out of you. Your child is your priority- her child is hers. Can you not see each side equally? Just let it go.

I'm confused how is the christening of their only child yet they are sending their older child to a party for your child?

Ok here goes, she is your cousin's wife. You are friends with his sister, also your cousin. Your party is in a zoo and your child is 1.

@covidish

I'm confused how is the christening of their only child yet they are sending their older child to a party for your child?

There are more questions than answers.

@Allsortsofroses where are you that christening numbers are restricted but children's birthday parties aren't?

@TastesLikeFeet

LanaDelBoy

You’ve clearly not read the thread. You’ve got the woman attending the party mixed up with the other woman. Never mind though. You just wanted to come on and be a nasty cow like so many other posters on here so you’ve achieved that at least. 🙄

I have read the thread, so you're wrong about that. As you didn't quote the bit of my post you're responding you, I actually can't tell what you mean. What nasty thing did I say?

@RobertaFirmino

It's a first birthday party isn't it...

100%

But you don’t eat the cake at a party. You cut it and put in party bag wrapped in serviette. That’s norm for every child’s party I’ve been to in England. So you could sing/cake at start.

@Allsortsofroses

there's no way I can handle a kids party for more than a couple of hours anyway,

Wow you're psychic, that's fkg incredible.

Unfortunately like most (all?) psychics, you're talking bollocks. My relatjve/mate has been wanting to visit this venue with her kid for ages, it takes hours to do properly, there are plenty of rest/chill spots, the time limit with covid and the birthday food etc is already making it tight; they're not going to be able to do any justice to their visit, and her chd is going to miss out on the things the kids, from experience, enjoy the most.

.

But none of this is your problem. Your child will still get to do it all, so don't worry about it. Honestly, you need to chill out. I get you hate this woman but this particular issue is just nothing.