To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

@Dixiechickonhols

But you don’t eat the cake at a party. You cut it and put in party bag wrapped in serviette. That’s norm for every child’s party I’ve been to in England. So you could sing/cake at start.

About 50/50 in my experience. Some send it home in bags, some cut and share it out there and then.

@BlameItOnTheBlackStar

Anyone else think Christening Mum sounds awesome, and that she has the measure of her MIL Big Mo and her flying monkeys?

✋ Yes. MIL and OP's husband staged an intervention at their engagement. How would you ever forgive them for that?

If mate and her child being there for cake cutting is important to Op they could sing/candles etc and then do activities and then all eat cake later when mate gone (mate could either miss out on cake or take hers in serviette) But if Op doesn’t want to change her plans fair enough, mate just misses cake but will get cake at Christening so it’s no big deal.
The one child confusion. I think relative/woman Op dislikes has 2 children boy who is invited to party and baby girl to be christened. Reference to mate/SIL not missing her only nieces christening.

#teamchristening (and yes I have ready ALL your posts OP)

OP - I really wish you'd enabled the voting buttons you'd get a snapshot picture of just how unreasonable you are being.

*read not ready

Can’t think why the christening mum has made sure she can’t spend a whole day at a kids party, sounds great fun especially with such a chilled out mum of party child

I hate kids parties. Mine, others, best friends kids, nephews, neices - hate all the parties.

I also hate christenings.

Just saying.

I think this is your ex-husband's new wife's child's christening. The friend/relative is your ex SIL (your ex husband's sister). I think this woman is the OW and the child coming to the party is your child's step/half sibling. I think you have got a grudge to bear against this woman, you are not invited to the christening as you are the ex-wife. You are cross because you want the day to be about your child and now it is about a newer/younger child who has possibly taken the limelight away. There is no mention of any other family having to cancel your party for the christening, if it was a cousin, there would be joint grandparents. I think the MIL is your ex-husband's mum that you were quite close to and have a bond with. If you won't tell us the dynamics of this family set up, we can only presume so many other options.

Yes I agree she shouldn't have arranged the Christening on the same day, but people seem to think this was a bit out of her control so maybe you should just accept that?

It's a shame your mate can't spend all day with you and your child, but never mind. Make alternative arrangements. It's not the end of the world. After all, how much time catching up were you realistically expecting to do at this fabulous all-day venue?

I really think you're letting your previous opinions and other people's opinions shape your anger around this, and it's really not healthy. This is a kid's party. Your kid will have lots of other parties.

Your friend did not have to say yes to taking her dc and leaving half way through so obviously your friend wants to leave early or she would of said no.

Your friend did not have to say yes to taking her dc and leaving half way through so obviously your friend wants to leave early or she would of said no.

You do realise the woman having the christening is the friends sister. Therefore I don’t think the friend can realistically not attend the christening, do you?

OP you, your mother in law and your various friends/relatives who all dislike this woman sound like high maintenance drama queens. It sounds like Christening mum and her relative (who OP is mates with) have probably got the right idea about OP and her MIL.

It's hard getting christening dates. My local church is still trying to christen toddlers who were born before the lockdowns.

Op Your mate has a choice whether to attend the christening or your birthday party extravaganza. She's chosen the relative's christening. You need to get over it.

Othersideofthemoon I also wondered that. There's so much drama and spite, childish bitchyness and point scoring.

@MysweetAudrina

Ok here goes, she is your cousin's wife. You are friends with his sister, also your cousin. Your party is in a zoo and your child is 1.

This is like Cluedo. Colonel Mustard, in the drawing room with a lead piping - I am shit at this game but I'm up for it

Right, here goes
CW - christening women
RM - relative mate.

RM is Ops cousin. RMs brother (also Ops cousin) is married to CW.

Party is at a baby/toddler messy play with sensory room type thing (is this a thing?! you can tell I not a parent )

Ops child is 1.

This is my evidence:
At 18.02 Op said about RM
Yeah a Christian can definitely skip her brother and sister in laws christening of their only child, her only niece or nephew ... it wouldn't cause any conflict in their family at all.
And then at 19.30 said about CW
And it would have been rude not to extend an invite to the party when her sil and family were being invited, and her child is the same age roughly.

Therefore i deduce, CW has one only child and children are typically christened before 1 years old. As they are a similar age to Ops child, the Ops child must be 1.

I rest my case, m'lord

It does sound like that kidzania place AP posted earlier.

Obviously OP and her relative/mate were planning to go shopping and now can't, for as long at least.

At the cost of doing that £1k+ I can see why someone would be pissed off but OP has never mentioned the money.

Crazy that you can get so annoyed over someone needing to leave your child's party early for whatever the reason is. They are making the effort to come so if they leave early so be it.
Do adults really have that much fun at kids parties parents can't wait to leave normally.
Of course friends sister will come first so why not just arrange a day out for a proper catch up when your both free without loads of kids running wild.

At least you won't need to bother inviting her to your kids 2nd birthday. Every cloud.

I suggest that you find another occasion to see your friend whom you haven't seen since yonks. It really isn't your other relative's problem that you haven't kept up with your friend. And children's birthday parties really don't figure largely in most people's lists of sacred occasions. A baby has one christening, kids have birthdays every year.

Yeah a Christian can definitely skip her brother and sister in laws christening of their only child, her only niece or nephew ... it wouldn't cause any conflict in their family at all.

Wait, if the child being christened is their only child, who's the older sibling coming to the party? Or is it the same child? In which case ... FFS, OP, how young are these kids? Maybe it's the father's child from a prior marriage ... in which case where is he in all this and why are you not flipping out at him? Or maybe it's the mother's kid from a prior relationship?

Whilst the same date is annoying as you had planned yours first, I think it's pretty sweet she's trying to ensure child still attends. Maybe I don't know ins and outs but this seems an over reaction.

@girlmom21

At least you won't need to bother inviting her to your kids 2nd birthday. Every cloud.

Or buying a gift for their kid's party!

@BakedTattie

I hate kids parties. Mine, others, best friends kids, nephews, neices - hate all the parties.

I also hate christenings.

Just saying.

Then this situation would be perfect for you!

Sorry op, I have been invited to a christening on the same day.

Sorry double booker, I've already been invited to a birthday party that day.

No lies were told in the turning down of the invitations...

I think we're in Jeremy Kyle territory here
Absolutely. The more the OP posts, the cringier it gets. Thankfully she's given us a great picture of who she is and who she surrounds herself with.

All this whining and bitchiness because your mate has to leave the birthday party early. Can you hear yourself?
You're obviously not invited to the christening so you're not a close friend/family member and not someone she 'owes' anything to. As so many have said, christening dates can be really hard to come by so she took what she could. The idea that you think YOU should have been a factor in the decision is bizarre and indicative of your weird idea that a birthday party is obviously the highlight of the social season. It's not. Its important to you and you only and your kid isn't even going to remember it.
What do you get out of being such a dramallama? It's really no big deal to anyone but you OP. Not your kid, not your mate, not the backstabbing relatives, not the CM.

Have to go to bed now.
This thread has been the most entertaining thing on here for a while.
I won’t be surprised if it’s been pulled by the time I wake up though.

So it’s your cousins only niece… similar age to your child so it must be your child’s first or max second party. It’s really not worth all this stress!

DRAMA LLAMA