To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

You are miffed that your friend and her family have chosen to attend her event and will leave your event early.

Nope.

She didn't chose, she just had to make the best of the situation double booker put her in.

She has no choice, I feel sorry for her.

I'm not and would never be "miffed" at her. Our relationship would never be affected by something like this.

I'm kind of impressed with the force of this lady's will. Apparently nobody else makes decisions out of deference or fear

Oh and everyone else is attending.

One person is not,

Yes the person you don't like anyway. I really am not seeing what the actual problem is here.
Its ONE person who isn't coming.
A person you hate anyway.

Do you really still think you are being reasonable OP?

No adult want to go to a 1st birthday party for a half or whole day trust me. Two hours is the norm.

What a fuss over nothing. Yes you are being overly precious about this. To be honest one if you will probably be waiting for covid test results anyway and the whole thing will have to be cancelled.

Honestly, if my brother's child was being Christened and a friend's kid was having a birthday party - it wouldn't matter which invite I accepted first I'd be going to my niece/nephews christening.

You friend is actually going to both.

There really is no issue here.

Of course she can skip it

Yeah a Christian can definitely skip her brother and sister in laws christening of their only child, her only niece or nephew ... it wouldn't cause any conflict in their family at all.

Totally appropriate.

@Allsortsofroses

What would he make of the batshit claims on this thread?

What bat shit claims?

(As for my partner, he has a much lower opinion of double booker than I do. He was one of the ones who tried to dissuade my relative from continuing the engagement and marrying her. He and the other mates had their reasons).

My partner has said tk forgoer about it

Read your own thread, @Allsortsofroses.

(And you do know that this thread isn't actually about whether or not your relative was wrong to marry the Bitch from Hell, don't you?)

I meant the batshit idea that she has somehow done this to get up your nose - though if she did, she certainly succeeded.

Do you honestly think most people really give a shit about a kids birthday party, OP? Most people will defo put their own child’s christening first.

@Newuname199987

What a fuss over nothing. Yes you are being overly precious about this. To be honest one if you will probably be waiting for covid test results anyway and the whole thing will have to be cancelled.

Ouch! Something tells me OP wouldn't cancel it for that.

@Bookworm20

kidzania.co.uk/birthdays/birthday-packages-and-prices

Did you book the VIP package? Bloody hell that's over a grand!
No wonder you're pissed off.

But, just invite a different child?

"For only £1275". Dont tell me DS15. He got two hours at the local play centre for about £40. But not til he was 4!

So there you have it @Allsortsofroses. You asked AIBU? and we all said yes.

I meant the batshit idea that she has somehow done this to get up your nose

Who said that?!

Maybe you should read the thread again, not me.

I don't think that, I've never thought that.

I think my partners right that she's a selfish space cadet .

@Allsortsofroses

Of course she can skip it

Yeah a Christian can definitely skip her brother and sister in laws christening of their only child, her only niece or nephew ... it wouldn't cause any conflict in their family at all.

Totally appropriate.

Can you really not hear yourself?

I think you do actually need to calm down a bit and take your DP's advice.
Forget about it. Its really a non issue in the grand scheme of things.

But you know what you should do?

When she invites and plans her PFB's first birthday event, Book your wedding! On the same day! That'll teach her!

At least give us an age range?!

1-3
3-6
7-11
11+

She's not my Sil.

She's definitely some sort of IL.

I think it's this, and I'm guessing the PFB is 7.

@Allsortsofroses are you normally this cross about things of so little consequence ?

I think she can christen her child whenever she wants and that she is still coming to your child’s birthday party.

Why on earth does it matter to you if they leave early?

Really find other things in life to get upset about and life will be so much easier?

This is the maddest thread I've ever seen.
OP I think you've lost the plot. You're having a massive overreaction to....a bit of nothing.

So the double booker is so despised by the OP’s family that they all tried to talk her husband out of marrying her and say deeply terrible things about her behind her back - I can kind of see why she doesn’t care about the OP’s birthday party plans to be honest. Given the seething levels of hostility, it would make sense that she tries to detach as much as possible from them all. She might be as monstrous a human being as the OP suggests but this thread really only evokes sympathy for this woman.

Christ, are there really kids parties at venues which last 4 whole hours? It was bad enough going for 2 hours when my kids were little, for a few years there seemed to be one every weekend. It really eats into your weekend when you work full time.

I'm not getting the angst really, OP, if it really is a 4 hour long party, and your relative wants to get off after 2 hours, say. Unless she's taking the rest of the guests with her to the christening leaving you wtih no other guests at your kid's party then I'm not getting what a HUGE deal this is. If she's arranged the date out of spite and there's a backstory then YANBU to be annoyed, but if it's just a COVID-related booking/timing issue then I think you need to relax a bit.

I think my partners right that she's a selfish space cadet

Is it selfish though to prioritise her child? Or is she simple not getting involved in the wider politics of a family that have made it clear already that they don't like her? Why should she inconvenience herself when the father of the birthday child tried to talk her DP out of marrying her?
Why should she have any goodwill or give a flying fuck about any of you?

@Allsortsofroses

I meant the batshit idea that she has somehow done this to get up your nose

Who said that?!

Maybe you should read the thread again, not me.

I don't think that, I've never thought that.

I think my partners right that she's a selfish space cadet .

OP, so is your partner also right when he very sensibly says you should forget about it? (to remind you again, in your own words: My partner has said tk forgoer about it ).

This should go into Classics, as it's some time since there was a thread of this nature.

One person is not, because she accepts invites to things and then books other things over them, and does so for her relatives without their agreement too.

She doesn't need anyone's "agreement" to book her child's christening. All this over a kid's birthday party. It's not an event, in the grand scheme of things it means nothing to anyone. Sorry.