To be angry that my relative has booked an event on the same day as my child's birthday

[Allsortsofroses]

I booked a venue for my child's birthday party and invited everyone, including this woman and her child (and husband if he wanted to go), about a month and a half beforehand.

I thought that was neither too much nor little notice.

She accepted.

She then contacted me weeks later saying she's booked her child's christening on the same day because she forgot, and says it's the only date she can get ).

She has now suggested another take her child to part of the birthday party while she prepares for the christening, but her child (and that relative, and her child, and partner) will have to leave the birthday party early in order to get ready for the christening etc.
In fact they'll have to leave before we could get to the cake cutting.

My partner has said tk forgoer about it, that we all know from previous experience that's she's selfish and dippy, but I must admit I'm trying hard to stay totally diplomatic about it.

What do you make of it?

@Allsortsofroses honestly, if you two can do it another time together then it'll probably be much better because you can catch up properly rather than have loads of other children/parents around

no previous arrangements or other people like her sil's arrangements can interfere with the first date given.

Again, why the hell should she prioritise your child's party over a christening? Even if you DIDN'T all hate the woman, why on EARTH would you dream she should cater to you??

And double booker knows it, that's partly why she's doing it

Wow, you're psychic, that's fkg incredible, OP.

I have read the full thread, as I'm avoiding doing some things I really, really don't want to do, and it has given me a laugh.

Do you ever listen to your partner? If SIL were genuinely a "spoilt little bitch", (though the MIL sounds like something from a soap opera) and - let's push the boat out - deliberately trying to piss you off, then might his "forget about it" advice not be sound? What would he make of the batshit claims on this thread?

I know you said you won't give the child's age because it might be outing - but I think it would be fair to say that there are a lot of people here with children aged X, so you probably wouldn't be giving too much away. What's more, you're drawing attention to the nature of the party by making us speculate. You'd be better off inventing something else that would be just as suitable for a PFB's all-day party and saying that.

Sorry but a christening takes precedence over a birthday party... if you make a big deal of it you'll spoil the day for your child. Smile and be gracious. Life with a young child can be hectic and people get dates muddled, I doubt it was intentional. It's only a big deal if you make it one.

@PleasantBirthday

And double booker knows it, that's partly why she's doing it.

Many psychics around today.

Did she do something underhand to get the church to agree with her plan to ruin this party and manipulate her sister to destroy the closeness between you that she envies?

I mean, there must be some scenario in your mind as to why she'd do something that weird. What do you think she wants to achieve?

How is it psychic to know that double bookers sil (my relative & mate)bodies not have the type of personality to call her out on anything?

We all know that from decades of experience of both of them.

No psychic ability necessary.

let's push the boat out - deliberately trying to piss you off

Whetd have I ever once said or implied she was deliberately trying to piss me off?.I don't think that.

These threads are like Chinese whispers.

Is it at KIDZANIA OP?

That would tie in with them being taken off for the activites. And it being an issue if they leave early?

But why the fuck would you take a one year old to Kidzania?

Bit if a non event in my opinion and you are overreacting

So basically you really dislike your SIL anyway and now she is holding an event which is more important than yours and you are not invited?

I’ve been to a party before when the party itself was 2hours but then you got to use the entire venue for the rest of the day. So you had to turn up at a particular time but afterwards you could go in the soft play, outside area, pet animals etc.

What I would say about that sort of party is it’s bloody expensive and I wouldn’t be too impressed about paying for children who were going to leave before we’d even sung happy birthday.

This sort of thing really comes down to the type of character you are dealing with. Someone who made a genuine error, are apologetic and try and finds a solution is much better received then someone who has form for this behaviour and makes it clear they don’t give a shit about the cost/inconvenience to you.

What would he make of the batshit claims on this thread?

What bat shit claims?

(As for my partner, he has a much lower opinion of double booker than I do. He was one of the ones who tried to dissuade my relative from continuing the engagement and marrying her. He and the other mates had their reasons).

@Allsortsofroses

But that’s their battle to fight.

Not the type.

And double booker knows it, that's partly why she's doing it.

The fact that she's "not the type" doesn't make it your battle fight for her.

@Allsortsofroses

What would he make of the batshit claims on this thread?

What bat shit claims?

(As for my partner, he has a much lower opinion of double booker than I do. He was one of the ones who tried to dissuade my relative from continuing the engagement and marrying her. He and the other mates had their reasons).

And for at least the fourth time, why is this relative of yours completely blameless as to when his child is christened?

It's just a kid's birthday party. They're not special to anyone except the birthday child and her/his parents. In fact, they're actually a chore.

Enjoy the day. It doesn't matter if your random relative and their child is there. Focus on your DC's friends and don't be surprised if random siblings show up and/or their are no shows from friend circle.

kidzania.co.uk/birthdays/birthday-packages-and-prices

Did you book the VIP package? Bloody hell that's over a grand!
No wonder you're pissed off.

But, just invite a different child?

You clearly don't want to listen to the majority here. Don't know why you posted if you're not willing to concede 🤷‍♀️

OP, if you come across in real life even slightly like you’re coming across on this thread, I don’t think many of us would be that surprised that people around you are wriggling out of having to spend too much time with you

@Rainbowshit

HOW OLD IS YOUR CHILD?

THIS!

is it an 18th birthday ? Or a 1st?

This is classic Mumsnet

@BigButtons

So basically you really dislike your SIL anyway and now she is holding an event which is more important than yours and you are not invited?

Is this make your own thread up?

Some kind of creative writing exercise.

She's not my Sil.

And the christenings are extremely limited in numbers here, immediate family only.

You are really making a fuss about nothing.

You are miffed that your friend and her family have chosen to attend her event and will leave your event early. If your mate was really upset about not being able to relax and enjoy your event, she could refuse to go to the christening?

You need to chill out. It seems to all be about you and you wanting your friend there. IT is a kids birthday.

You all sound a delight. Leave ‘that woman’ alone and go and do some ironing or something more productive

@HappyDays101010 it’s amazing! I’ve never seen one in the wild before. 🎉

@SW1amp

OP, if you come across in real life even slightly like you’re coming across on this thread, I don’t think many of us would be that surprised that people around you are wriggling out of having to spend too much time with you

Ditto most of the posters on this thread.

Oh and everyone else is attending.

One person is not, because she accepts invites to things and then books other things over them, and does so for her relatives without their agreement too.

@Allsortsofroses

Your relative that is leaving the party could have said no......I'm not leaving the party early....

She can't not attend her siblings child's christening.

I get you're annoyed but 2 people are prioritising a christening over a party

Absolutely not.
I feel sorry for her being put in the position of having to bail on a long accepted invite to her mate/relatives child's party (and have her child miss out) ... or try to half ass it, leave early, rush around etc.

That's their choice..... you could equally tell them not to bother coming at all if they aren't going to stay for all of it...

I'd never do that, that would be rude/horrible, my relative/mate is trying to make the best of the situation this lady had put her in.

Of course she can skip it

Free will and all